


Taking Flight

by Prubun (Squeakster)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Magic, Blood, Injury, M/M, Scars, Sexual Themes, Suicide Attempt, death mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-06-22
Packaged: 2018-12-24 16:26:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 78,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12016593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squeakster/pseuds/Prubun
Summary: When a strange man saves him but then shoves him away in fear and hostility, magic user Ivan Braginski takes a paranoid interest in the mysterious man and finds himself infatuated rather quickly. After some time and some cooperation, it becomes clear to Ivan that the strange man is the one who is truly in need of a savior.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I got a request to post this fic again, so here it is.  
> Originally posted back in 2013, this was my second ever RusPru fic.

With a poof of smoke and a bright flash of light, the large Russian male disappeared from the stage without a trace of his presence remaining. The crowd applauded and children began cheering as the heavy red velvet curtain closed and met in the center, closing off view of the stage, and the man was visible again. It was a tacky trick that was mostly to please the younger audience, but it put a smile on the man's face to hear the _ooh_ s and _aah_ s of the kids as he made doves appear, objects float, or disappear entirely. It was petty, but it made him happy. Until lately, that is.

Over the last few months, the audience went from excited children with their parents to mostly obnoxious teens hiding in the back and making out. It was sad, and he was beginning to lose his passion for this. Last year he would have been smiling ear to ear after a show like that, but now, his smile disappeared as soon as he did. He tried, though, as hard as he could to enjoy himself. Sadly, the people around him were losing faith in magic, even the kids; even though magic was all around them, they just didn't know it.

The man's name is Ivan Braginski, and he's one of the people that know of the city's 'other side', the one full of magic. _Real_ magic. When he disappeared from the stage, that was real, but hidden by the smoke so it looked fake to adults, but it didn't matter since no one truly cared, and those who study and partake in magic kept their passion silent. Sadly, his skills were cut short since he could really arouse suspicion by doing some more flashy stuff. The owner of the theater is a man well-versed in magic as well, however it seemed that he lost his hope years ago and didn't want to look back on it. He only let Ivan continue using real magic so the shows wouldn't get boring, but even that plan seemed to foil now.

Ivan walked himself backstage; walking passed a few others from tonight's show but not actually speaking to any of them. Sadly, none of them knew of real magic. It was almost hard to function anymore; magic and the existence of supernatural and mythical creatures was something that was almost taboo to speak of, whether meaning it or not, and Ivan found it hard to do even petty tricks without being too flashy. He loved magic, it had been his life for years, but lately that passion was a waning flame that needed to be rekindled. There was nothing new or beautiful, nothing with a _flare_ . Nothing that would really _wow_ the people in this narrow-minded town.

.

"Hey Braginski, Mr. Mallory wants to see you. Said it's important." Ivan turned to the man who had spoken to him as he undid the small bow on his cliché black magicians' cape. To be honest, he didn't even recognize the man.

' _Wants to see me? That's odd..._ ' he thought to himself, and then nodded toward his colleague. "Alright, thank you." He said, and turned away, pulling the cape over his shoulders and folding it over his arms neatly. Honestly, one of the worst things about this job was the stupid outfits; he didn't fit well in leather-like pants, and it seemed that they were always a _bit_ too small for him.

He walked down the hall, down to his boss's office and knocked gently on the door. A low voice mumbled, "Come in." and Ivan opened the door and peeked in. The man at the desk was Mr. Mallory, a former lover of magic but had lost his own spark long ago. "Oh, Ivan, there you are." The man said.

"I was told that you wanted to see me, sir?" Ivan asked as he walked inside, closing the door behind him.

"Yeah yeah." Mallory nodded and lit up a cigarette. "We've been having a bit of a problem lately. Not enough people are coming to see the big Russian bear disappear from the stage anymore." Ivan swallowed roughly, not liking the tone of his boss's voice. "I'm very sorry Ivan, but we're going to have to cancel your show, along with a few others."

" _What?_ " Ivan growled and stepped forward. He noticed the small glare in Mallory's eyes and he backed off, "I'm sorry, but that will put me out of a job, as well as many others here."

"I'm aware of that, but it's costing more just to provide you with tools than we actually make from your shows." He said, taking his cigarette into his mouth, "Besides, your tricks are nothing special and people are getting tired of seeing the same things. People won't miss it."

Ivan could literally hear his heart breaking in two, but it was nothing compared to the rage lighting inside of him now. His magic was nothing special? ' _Would it be special if I choked you without using my hands right now?_ ' Ivan let out a low growl as he thought, and he turned away from the other man.

Mallory leaned forward on the desk, "Tell you what; bring me something that will wow the town but won't broadcast real magic, and you can have your show back." He said, "Bring me a fairy or something, maybe a mermaid?" he suggested, chuckling.

Ivan glared at the man, knowing that he was mocking him. Not because of the creatures he mentioned, but because of how rare and delicate they are. "Fine." He said and left, slamming the door behind him. He had to get out of there before he blew up on the other man.

Mallory sighed, letting out a stream of white smoke between his lips and simply kicked his feet up onto his desk, not really caring if Ivan stayed or left. After all, it wasn't like he was bringing something extraordinary to the people of this city; he was simply disappearing and making flashing lights, and it's been done to death.

.

He must have been giving off some sort of aura or something as he left the theater because everyone who saw the Russian coming moved aside instantly to let him pass. He had to watch what he did when he was angry, since he had a hard time controlling himself when things got under his skin.

He didn't have to worry about money since he had a good stash left from his inheritance from his parents, but he was one of those people that found little joy in buying for his own pleasure. He needed a job or something to do at least for a few hours a day to keep himself from completely hating life, but it was hard finding any jobs in town, let alone finding one where he could use magic, even subtly.

Ivan went home to his apartment and continued on as if he hadn't just lost the job he had worked at for just under 3 years. He took a very long shower until the water was frigid against his skin, made some dinner and ate until he literally couldn't eat anymore, froze some water dripping from the faucet in his kitchen when he got irritated by it, and then headed to bed after changing into some more comfortable clothing. Only then, when his head rested softly on his white pillow and his violet eyes slid shut, his thoughts began to flood his mind and ate away at him for hours until about 4am before he was able to fall asleep.

.

.

Ivan spent the next three days in deep thought. About life, about his job he lost, about magic. It all seemed a bit pointless to him now. He struggled just to find a way to keep himself from being devoured by his thoughts, and ended up shopping for what seemed like hours every day, which ended with him having more food than necessary for himself and a ton of clothing that he didn't even try on that were way too small for him. Impulsive and needless buying was something he did when he started to feel down. It wasn't that it brought him joy to spend money, it was just something to do and he had to interact with people to do it so he felt it was the best way to keep his mind clear and focused.

After returning home one afternoon and dropping heaps of bags of undersized clothing into his apartment, he thought about going out for a walk. Just behind his apartment complex, there was a forest that no one ever seemed to go into and it was quiet and peaceful, and he felt like he needed to appreciate the beauty of the world a bit, and the forest was always pretty. That, or maybe he would get lost and just disappear there...

He stepped outside his apartment door and locked it, and then slid his key back into his pocket. As he walked down the stairs he saw a woman that was about his age just entering the building. Her name is Ms. Smith. Ivan didn't know her first name, but he did know that she had a bit of a crush on him and tended to flirt sometimes. It didn't bother him too much since she was nice about it, but she isn't the type of girl Ivan was into so he found her pursuits a bit annoying sometimes.

The woman looked up as she turned around and saw the tall Russian standing there, "Oh, well good afternoon, Ivan." She said, flashing a pretty white smile and brushing her light brown hair from her face.

Ivan tilted his head in a small bow, "Afternoon, Ms. Smith." He greeted.

"Are you going out again?" she asked, and Ivan nodded a bit, trying to keep his interactions with her at a minimum. "I see... well, you should come by later, we can have dinner or something, if that's alright." She suggested, smiling hopefully.

"Thank you for the offer, but there are some things I need to do and I'm afraid I won't be back." He said and then saw her smile disappear. "At least, not until late tonight." He added, realizing how his sentence sounded.

The woman's eyes narrowed sadly, "Well... come back safely, alright? And good luck with whatever you're doing." She said and forced a smile again, and then began walking passed the other. She was clearly disappointed, but it was better for both of them if they were never involved. There was a reason why Ivan never wanted to learn even her first name. Ivan sighed as he watched her walk up the stairs. The woman was sweet but Ivan couldn't stand her flirting and he didn't want to create any hope in her mind.

.

Ivan walked down the sidewalk by his apartment and looked for an entrance into the forest, his eyes caught a small path leading in and he looked around him before going in. It was strange that the path was so well-kept considering he had never seen anyone go into the forest, and it wasn't a park or a nature walk or anything. After about a minute of walking, he was lost in a different world. He looked behind him and couldn't see the street he had just come from or his apartment building through the trees. What was most beautiful about this scene was the sunlight flickering through the leaves and branches of the trees around him. Strangely, it was quiet. _Extremely_ quiet, like nothing lived in the forest at all. As he continued to walk for minutes upon minutes, he began the sound of waves. Eventually he came out on a small overlook onto an ocean pretty far from the town.

Ivan spent a long while just gazing out over the water, hearing the crashing of the waves against the rocks far below him. When a breeze passed, he would close his eyes and he would almost feel like he was flying and was tempted to just lean forward and let gravity do the rest. He thought about it, for a long, long time, but never gained that initiative to actually do it. As depressed as he felt the past few days, there was something keeping him here.

He stayed there for a few hours, not moving from that spot. Watching the sun set over the water was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen in his life; but as the sun was setting, the air grew chilly, and he figured it would be a good time to return home before it got too dark. He opened his eyes and gazed out at the water one last time; it was a deep blue with small white waves floating over the surface. He then turned on his heel after taking a deep breath, and looked away from the open water, and just as he took a step, he heard a _crack_ and felt something crumble and break underneath his feet. His eyes shot open wide as the ground broke under his shifting weight and he tipped backward as the ground fell from under him and his weight shifted, sending him toppling over the edge and plummeting down toward the sharp rocks below him.

That feeling of flying became real. More real than he had ever wanted and he was scared, but he had a strange sense of peace as well. He accepted that he couldn't change his fate now, so he closed his eyes as he heard the rush of air blow passed his ears and the waves still crashing below him as he neared them, waiting for it to end as he thought back on his life.

There was a sharp pain in his right shoulder and he thought he had hit a rock or maybe the side of the cliff, but when he felt nothing else except another pain in his other shoulder, he realized he hadn't hit anything. He then noticed that both of his arms were being held up by... hands? Tight gripping hands whose fingers were digging into his coat. He kept his eyes closed, but his violet irises shot open wide when he heard a horribly pained cry from above him, followed by a loud, almost _thundering_ flap; like air being pushed past him. He felt a change in movement and instead of falling, he felt himself being _lifted_ up.

Before he could even think of any ideas of what the heck was happening to him, he hit the ground hard and rolled a few feet from where he landed, and heard another thud on the ground a few feet from him, and he heard a small grunt. Ivan groaned and lifted his body up from the ground after a moment, and looked up a little as he blinked his eyes in a bit of pain at the ground, trying to collect his thoughts and let the pain fade out. As he looked up, he noticed some dark colored stuff on the grass right in front of him. Dark red. His eyes shot open wide when he realized that it was blood and he followed the trail of red to a man... or what Ivan _thought_ was a man; he wasn't really sure what to think of the creature in front of him. It was crawling weakly away from him, trying desperately to go into the forest nearby but not having enough strength to stand up and run, or... fly...

Ivan scanned the man in front of him, completely baffled and blinking a few times to make sure he was truly seeing what he was seeing. The blood on the grass led right up to the man, up his legs, his back, and was dripping from his shoulder blades where two beautiful white wings were splitting out from his back, drooping over his body weakly. His pants were ripped and his shirt was barely hanging onto his body and the back was torn open. Ivan was struck by the sight. In all his years studying magic and different creatures, never had he actually thought to see a creature with such gorgeous wings as this. The man's gasping and panting in pain knocked Ivan from his thoughts and brought him back to reality. Ivan stood to his feet after regaining his balance and he walked cautiously over to the bleeding man who was crawling away helplessly. It seemed to hear Ivan once he neared him and he snapped his head back at the Russian. His eyes struck Ivan as well; blue with tints of red. An angry fire flickered in his irises, but he looked more terrified and his eyes were welling up with pained tears.

The winged man gasped out, and tried crawling faster, fear overtaking him now. "I'm not going to hurt you." Ivan said, holding his hands out as if to prove what he was saying, but the other man didn't stop and he soon crawled through some bushes and out of sight. Ivan followed him and found the man lying in a small shaded clearing, with just some of the setting sun shining between the trees. The man had given up, or just lost all of his strength to move, and just laid there in the grass coughing a little. Ivan walked in front of him and leaned down; the man was barely breathing and he was sweating profusely. It worried Ivan greatly, the amount of blood that had drained from the other was getting to a dangerous level now.

The Russian reached a hand out, readying himself to begin casting some sort of healing magic on the bleeding wounds when the injured man suddenly shouted, "Don't touch me!" in a squeaky, pained voice, going into a coughing fit after he spoke.

Ivan just shook his head slowly and moved a bit closer, cautiously. "I won't hurt you." He said again.

"I heard you the first time! I'm fine!" the man shouted, trying again to move himself away from the nearing Russian. "Just _don't_ touch me."

Ivan sighed and backed off a little, but he was stubborn as well, "But, you're bleeding..." he said worriedly, though he was glad that the man at least had enough strength to yell like he was doing.

"You think I don't _know_ that!?" the winged man snapped, gritting his teeth at the other. He coughed more and began lifting his body, looking up at the Russian as he kneeled in front of him. Suddenly his slightly bloodied wings began retracting into his back, and the pale man's face twisted in pain as they pulled in. Once the wings were completely submerged into his body, he sighed heavily in relief. Suddenly his body gave out and his blue-ish pink eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell forward, falling toward Ivan and fainting.

Ivan caught the other in his arms and pulled him a bit closer, supporting the injured and unconscious man as best he could. Ivan let the fainted man lie in his arms, as one hand reached around to his back and began healing the still bleeding wounds there. If the man was unconscious, he couldn't protest or refuse Ivan's treatment, and he knew once the man woke up he would probably punch Ivan in the face or leave, so... best to do this now while he was quiet.

Ivan closed and healed the two wounds on the winged man's back and as he did so, he began to study the other's body a little. His back was _covered_ in scars and marks, and it made Ivan wonder what caused them; he actually felt sad for the other for some reason, guessing the scars weren't from just hanging around in the forest. After a moment of looking at the scars, Ivan continued to inspect the other male like a piece of art. His hair was solid white, so were his eyebrows and eyelashes, and his skin was extremely pale. Ivan guessed he was albino, and then remembered the strange coloring of his eyes, which sort of confirmed it. However, the giant white wings that had crawled back into the tiny body and disappeared moments ago were what were really holding Ivan's thoughts. Was he a bird of some sort? Ivan had heard of half-human half-bird people before, but even in this world of magic and mystery, it was rare to see one.

After about an hour, the sun had set more and the winged man began to regain consciousness. By this time, Ivan had positioned the man onto his stomach so that his wounds wouldn't touch the ground, and let the other's head rest in his lap so he also wasn't hugging him awkwardly.

Blue-ish pink eyes blinked open, and felt the soft cushion of Ivan's lap, and he sat up instantly and tried to throw himself away from the other. However, Ivan was right there with him, and gripped onto his arms. "Stop moving, you're going to reopen your wounds." Ivan said, trying to stop the man from struggling. It didn't take long, since the man just didn't have the strength to fight anymore. Looking infuriated, scared, and still in a bit of pain, he slumped himself in whatever direction gravity felt like dragging his body down in. Ivan sighed after catching him again, and laid the man back down so that his head was resting on his lap gently.

"Thank you..." Ivan said in a relieved sigh, a bit happy that the other finally gave in.

Sort of.

"Shut up." The pale man retorted, "The only reason why I'm not kicking your ass right now is because I don't want to faint again." He lied angrily, just trying to save face.

Ivan sighed, "For a pretty little bird, you sure are violent." He said in a saddened voice, wishing that the other was even the slightest bit thankful that Ivan had helped him.

The man grunted in disgust. "Call me that again and I'll kill you." it was still an empty threat and he glared daggers at nothing, not feeling like turning his head or moving in general. The man's voice came out in an inaudible mumble and Ivan didn't catch what he said, but he did understand that the other was _very_ unhappy. Ivan sighed and just let him lay there on his lap. The man seemed to calm down a bit, his breathing looked healthier now and he wasn't sweating anymore, and strangely enough, he looked pretty content just lying there looking like he was asleep. Ivan figured that the other was too tired to move and was still feeling a bit light-headed.

Ivan didn't touch him or use anymore spells, however he did look over the others back and to the scars that marked where his wings came out. From the looks of it, his wings literally break his skin and cause massive bleeding and pain when extended. The Russian then fully realized something: this man was injured like this because he saved him. He had completely forgotten about that little detail. That pained cry he heard, and the hands under his shoulders. It was all this miffed little man.

He felt a bit stupid for just now linking everything together, but he wondered why the pale man saved him since he seemed so hateful of Ivan now. He guessed that seeing another falling to their death was hard to ignore.

After a few minutes of painful silence, the bird-man finally began lifting his body once he felt that he had enough strength to do so. He was close to the other and didn't even flinch when their eyes met a few inches from each other. He had no expression that Ivan could place, like he was looking into the Russian's soul. Ivan felt a lump in his throat and actually felt his heart skip a beat; the other's eyes looked like they were glowing, but Ivan figured it was just the dim light from the setting sun making them shine.

"Are you... an angel?" Ivan asked anxiously, staring into the other's blue-ish pink eyes.

"No, I'm a _pretty little bird_." The man retorted almost playfully, but his voice was still dripping with venomous sarcasm. He then sighed, "Stop looking at me like that, you're creeping me out." He said, and Ivan moved back from the other and apologized, breaking the awkward trance he was in. The pale man then closed his eyes. "What the hell were you doing just standing out there like that?" He asked.

"I... I was just looking--"

"You were going to kill yourself, weren't you?" the man said, sighing again and standing shakily to his feet, Ivan standing with him to make sure he wouldn't fall but the man ignored the Russian's concern completely. "Well you're alive, so go home and don't come back here." He turned and began limping away a bit.

"Wait!" Ivan yelled toward him, "Let me repay you for saving me then. You don't have a home, right? I could bring you food, or clothing." The Russian suggested.

The man turned to him, glaring over his shoulder coldly. " _Go. Home._ What don't you understand about that? I don't need or want your help."

Ivan stopped and took a small breath. The man was no longer bleeding and he could walk on his own. Ivan had no place to stop him anymore so he let the other disappear into the forest without another word.

.

Ivan eventually wandered back to his apartment, thinking heavily on what had just happened to him. He fell (not purposely) and then was saved by some strange winged man _._ Things like that just don't happen every day, let alone in a lifetime, but, the man was distressed and recluse. Ivan had to admit, he looked like an angel, though his attitude was nothing like the heavenly beings he resembled. In the end, Ivan just wished that the man would have at least given him a chance to do something for him. He looked homeless and was extremely skinny so maybe he could bring food, but what did he like to eat? Ivan chuckled a bit, thinking that the man seemed like a person who would eat anything you put on a table in front of him.

' _Maybe I'll stop by tomorrow and look for him, give him some food. I'll just leave it and if he doesn't take it, oh well._ ' Ivan thought to himself as he stretched in his warm bed. His mind wandered a bit, wondering why a stranger would suddenly appear and save him like that... it was truly interesting, and Ivan was extremely intrigued by the man, seeming to not be able to shake him from his thoughts. Mainly things like, 'how fast can you fly?' and 'what kind of bird are you?' Silly stuff like that. However... he also found himself wondering if the man was cold; shivering out there alone with no blanket, no fire, and no food. Nothing.

Yet somehow, even with these heavy thoughts, Ivan slept better this night than he had in a long time.


	2. Chapter 2

He didn't have a last name, or at least, it was something that Gilbert didn't remember anymore. That fact didn't bother him as much as it used to, but he supposed it was something he just had to accept and ignore, and he didn't really care to have a last name, nor a first name for that matter. He couldn't remember the last time someone actually said his name, so it wasn't important to him anymore.

It was sometime in the afternoon and the albino sat on a branch in a tree which overlooked the cliff from yesterday. It was always his favorite spot to just sit for hours and think about various things. Sadly, much to his dismay, his thoughts were scrambled as of late, and the nasty wet weather put a damper on his overall mood and he began wondering about the man from yesterday. It wasn't wondering as much as it was worrying; not for the man, but for himself. To any normal person, the first instinct would be to try to save a person who's falling to their death, and he did, but for him it was more complicated than that. He trained himself to stay away from people, much less let them see what he was, and he broke his own personal oath to never let another person see his wings, which was why he tried so desperately hard to get out of sight before the other man had seen him. It was hard to trust strangers, especially those who wander around a forest by themselves. Still, even though he didn't show it, he was thankful that the man had healed him, and that he left without much of a fight.

Gilbert sighed heavily as the rain began to fall harder. By now, his entire body was soaked to his bones. His skin was slick and his hair dripped beads of rainwater from the snow-colored tips. He was used to being rained on and being dirty for that matter, but it still chilled him to the bone regardless of how 'used' to it he was. He gazed out over the cliff in front of him, thinking about how long he had been sitting in this tree... 4 years just about, though the length of time did not matter anymore. Just before his thoughts went to a dangerous place, he heard some rustling below him and he clung to the tree as best as he could, his nails actually began digging into the wet bark of the tree. He looked down toward the ground curiously and sighed again when he saw who it was as the person passed: the man from yesterday. Gilbert felt his heart thud hard in his chest; he knew the guy would come back, but the reason for his return was what scared Gilbert the most because he didn't know what that reason was. He stayed quiet though, not moving and also biting the insides of his cheeks.

Ivan walked and stood at the cliff again, but not too close this time. He seemed to be waiting, not looking around or calling out for anyone. Gilbert studied him as he stood there and quickly noticed something in the other's hand. It looked like a picnic basket or something; it was rather big and weaved together with wicker. He also had a black umbrella in his other hand that was over his head to keep him at least somewhat dry. After a moment, the albino began moving, figuring it was high time to escape and not be seen by the other again, because it was obvious that the man was waiting for him. Of course, his foot slipped since the bark of the tree was slick with water from the heavy rain, and he fell, hitting the ground a few feet below him with a _thud_ and he let out a yelp of pain as a conveniently placed rock sliced his arm by his bicep.

Ivan turned his head at the noise and saw the other curled up on his side holding his upper arm, and he went over to him without hesitation once he noticed the blood on his fingers. "You really need to stop hurting yourself." Ivan said as he kneeled down, gently taking the other's arm into his hands to inspect it. Gilbert responded by ripping his arm away from the other instantly, which just caused a sharp pain in his arm as it bled more, the pain causing his eyes to well up.

After watching the albino wince in pain for a few seconds, Ivan carefully grabbed the others arm again and looked at the wound. The rock had cut pretty deep and there was dirt and little pieces of gravel sticking to his arm and wound. "You should come back to my apartment so I can get this cleaned up." He said, looking back at the other with concerned eyes, but Gilbert shook his head vigorously, not wanting to go anywhere with the other, but he didn't pull his arm away this time, not wanting to cause himself more pain than necessary. "So you just want me to leave you here bleeding from a wound that'll probably get infected." Ivan said and then let the other's arm fall from his hands, and Gilbert brought his limb close to his chest to hold onto it, trying in vain to sooth the pain.

For a moment, Ivan just sat there, watching the other cling weakly to himself and hoping that he would let him help him. He looked like a drowned rat right now. Dripping in water, wounded, ripped clothing and everything. It was pathetic, but Ivan wanted to know why. Why this man was so hell-bent on refusing any help from him even though he was _clearly_ in pain and not too happy out here in the freezing rain. Ivan eventually sighed after a few minutes of silence with the other male, and gave up. "Fine, but take this basket and umbrella, use whatever you want." He said and set the two items next to the injured man and then stood up, walking away without another word as the rain beat down onto him.

Gilbert waited until the other was out of sight, and spent a few minutes poking at his cut to try to get some of the gravel out. It stung, and his fingers were bloody as his eyes watered more. Eventually his arm went a little numb and his curiosity got the better of him as he glanced over at the basket and he opened the lid on it. He peeked in, trying not to let any rain get inside. There was a clear container with what looked like bread and some pieces of cut up fruit, along with a few bottles of water. And below it was a dark red, folded wool blanket. Gilbert sighed and gave in, knowing that the man obviously wanted him to eat it, and popped the lid on the container, the smell of freshly baked bread seeped out and into his nose, and he took out the bread that was inside once his stomach growled hungrily. It was a pretty big loaf, so he ripped a piece off and hesitantly put it in his mouth. It tasted great, for someone who hadn't eaten much in what felt like years. He quickly devoured the entire loaf of bread and moved to the slices of fruit. He had never had the fruit before but it smelled strong, was green and had little black seeds in the center of each slice. He slid one into his mouth and it tasted a bit tangy, but he liked it, actually smiling ever so slightly as his taste buds tingled a little.

Despite being frozen and soaked with rain water, he felt a tad bit better after eating, and he looked in the direction that the man left in. Of course, the man was gone, but Gilbert suspected he would come back tomorrow. In fact, Gilbert could almost guarantee it.

' _Maybe I should thank him for the food..._ ' he thought to himself.

.

.

Just as Gilbert had expected, it was still raining the next day, actually harder than the previous day and the entire forest was covered with a dense fog that made it hard to see 10 feet in front of you. It started thundering which was accompanied by a low eerie rumbling, and Gilbert found himself leaning against the base of the same tree he had fallen out of yesterday, his head buried in his kneecap and shivering from the cold and from pain. His arm had stopped bleeding but the cut was sore and hurt whenever his muscle flexed even in the slightest way. On top of that, he had slipped and fell earlier when he was walking back to his tree, he slipped on some mud and twisted his ankle and now his calf was bleeding from a scrape there as well.

In all the years that he has been living in this forest, not once did so much crap happen to him so suddenly; though the more he thought about it he realized that it wasn't just the recent injuries following his rescue of some strange man, this went back weeks; hell, maybe even _months_. The worst part was that he knew it too; he knew how much of a mess he had become. It didn't even make him angry anymore, just deeply sad, like something was pulling at his heart from the inside. Something about sitting alone and freezing like this was bringing back some not-so-pleasant memories of his past and because of the small gestures of kindness shown to him by Ivan, it had him thinking about his life before and longing for someplace warm again, and in all honesty, he felt like crying.

.

Ivan walked back through the forest, remembering the exact route he needed to take to return to where the bird-man always seemed to be. The fog made it difficult to maneuver through the woods, but once he saw the tree about 10 feet in front of him, he felt a bit relieved that he actually managed to get there. When the storm rolled in earlier, Ivan thought maybe he'd stay inside, but when it began getting really windy and started thundering, he began to worry about his feathered 'friend' in the forest, and so he set out to check on him. Ivan placed his hand on the tree and peeked around it, and his eyes widened when he saw the white-haired man with one leg pulled to his chest while the other was extended out. He looked even worse than yesterday, that much was obvious. Ivan leaned down and gently touched his finger onto the man's shoulder.

Gilbert instantly twitched to the side, having not heard the Russian approach him over the sound of the rain hitting everything around him. He was scared, and he tried to stand, but just fell once he put any weight onto his right ankle (the one he twisted earlier), getting dirt onto his wet skin, but it didn't bother him. Ivan saw that the other was injured again and even worse than yesterday and grabbed onto the man's arm, trying to stop the other from moving too much.

Gilbert struggled against him and yelled out, screaming 'No!' and 'Let go!' loudly in terrified shrieks that were muffled and given an eerie quality by the storm. During his struggles, Gilbert eventually managed to kick the other with his healthy foot right in the stomach, which caused the Russian to let go of his arm. The albino tried crawling away at that point, feeling cornered, but Ivan was back with him, pulling the man's uninjured arm toward him as carefully as he could manage.

"I'm not going to hurt you! I'm trying to help!" Ivan yelled over the sound of the rain beating down on and around them. Gilbert shook his head quickly, pulling on his own arm again until he ran out of strength and could feel his muscles in his arm weaken and strain. After a moment, Ivan just stared at the other as he felt him lose his strength. The bird-man looked so scared and there was pain reflecting in his eyes, and it made Ivan sad, he wasn't sure why, but it did. Just why was this man so scared? "Please, just come with me until the storm blows over." Ivan said, looking sincerely worried for the others health as rainwater soaked his hair and dripped down his face.

Gilbert just looked at him and then slumped over onto the ground. "I can barely walk." He mumbled so low that it was barely audible over the rain. He glanced down to his ankle, which was throbbing a bit in pain from moving too much.

"Not a problem." Ivan said and moved a little closer, carefully lifting the others torso up so he was sitting. He then kneeled next to him, "Try to get on my back, and wrap your legs around me as best as you can and I'll carry you." He said and looked over to the pitiful looking man. Surprisingly Gilbert did as he was told; figuring that refusing would just lead to him being forced to go with the other anyway. So once Ivan turned around for him, he wrapped his arms around the others neck but his grip was loose, not wanting to get any closer than necessary, which was a pointless ambition since he was already closer than he ever wanted to be.

"Are you ready?" Ivan asked over his shoulder, noticing the weak grip the other had on him. After the pale man didn't reply in anyway, Ivan stood up as he simultaneously slid his arms under the albino's legs, letting them wrap around his sides and taking care not to touch the others ankle as he positioned himself, and was actually quite shocked at how light the other male was. He wondered how the man even survived out here like this, looking as skinny and as sickly as he did.

Once he was lifted into the air, Gilbert was basically forced to hug onto the other so that he wouldn't fall backward, and he absolutely _hated_ it, however at the same time he was sick of being wet, tired, and injured, so he gave in and let his face lean into the others nape, but he wouldn't let his guard down around this man. The Russian played the part of a nice caring guy, but what was he really? The possibilities scared Gilbert, as in his current state, he had no chance of fending the other male off if he decided to assault him for any reason.

Ivan began walking with the injured man on his back, walking carefully and watching each step that he took, making sure not to drop the other or trip. His hands were on the underside of the pale man's thighs and he could feel his skin through some of the rips in his pants, but he tried not to hold on too tight or too far up his legs; he didn't want to cause the other anymore discomfort or give him the wrong idea. Ivan noticed that once the other ran out of strength, he gave in rather quickly, which was good for Ivan's sake since he didn't like forcing people to do things unless he really needed to, but he still wondered why the man put up such a fight. He had to know that after saving someone, the person saved wouldn't just leave him alone unless told to... even though Ivan _was_ told to leave a few times. Ivan's stubborn though, plus he felt like he needed to repay the other for not only saving him but for bleeding and injuring himself to do so. Despite all of these reasons, it comes down to the simple fact that both men could benefit from making a friend out of the other, and Ivan realizes this, which is why he's trying so hard right now, but Gilbert still thinks his solitude is better.

.

Gilbert opened his eyes a little after seeming to lose consciousness or fall asleep for a moment and noticed that he was still on the Russian's back. He took a moment to contemplate what was happening, noting the heavy rain still falling around them and the numbness in his body, and he pulled back a little after also noticing that his chin was resting on the others shoulder.

"You're awake, good." Ivan said, smiling softly and shifting his eyes to look at the other once he felt the movement on his back, "You dozed off there, I think."

Gilbert's eyes narrowed, ' _I seem to be doing that a lot lately..._ ' he said to himself, and then shivered at the cold rain still hitting his back.

Ivan noticed the shaking from the other and picked up his walking pace to move faster. "We'll be home soon, a few more minutes and we can get you out of those soaked clothes and warm again, and get your wounds cleaned up too." Ivan said, nodding a bit as he continued on walking.

Gilbert continued to stay silent and just stared at the other out of the corner of his eye. Was that _really_ what they were going to do when they got home? ' _It doesn't matter._ ' Gilbert said to himself, sighing. ' _It couldn't be worse than anything I've dealt with before...'_ After a few minutes, Gilbert was too tired to hold his head up and leaned his head forward against the Russian's nape, "Um... thanks, for the food..." he mumbled quietly.

"You ate it?" Ivan asked, seeming a bit shocked, but smiled nonetheless. "I wasn't sure if you were going to."

"I wasn't." Gilbert shot back quickly, turning his head to the side. "But I figured you'd force me if I didn't, and I'm not some weirdo that's into that kind of crap."

"Well I wouldn't _force_ you, but I'd make sure you ate. I am glad you did though; you're very light and look like you've gone weeks without a proper meal."

' _Try years._ ' Gilbert growled to himself and ignored Ivan's comment. He began thinking, and narrowed his eyes a bit. "What are you planning on doing to me?" he asked in a quiet, almost frightened tone.

Ivan breathed out disappointingly, noticing that the other seemed to be implying something wrong. "Nothing bad. I'll clean your wounds, look at your foot, give you some new clothes, and probably cook something for you." Ivan said and looked over his shoulder at the other, "Is that okay?" he asked.

Gilbert simply looked away, his eyes narrowed as he stared into the distant fog created by the rain. Ivan sighed softly and looked back in front of him, continuing on his way. Suddenly he felt the man on his back shiver violently and actually tighten his arms around the Russian's neck, which was shocking to Ivan since the man seemed to be completely repulsed by him, but he guessed it was just an instinct to retract inwardly when one is cold. Regardless, Ivan gripped his hands a bit tighter on the other's thighs and began casting a small spell, one that would send warmth through another person or object.

The albino twitched back slightly when he felt his legs tingle a little with warmth, "What are you doing to me!?" He yelled as he pushed back on the other.

"Relax, it's not hurting you, is it? It's just warming you." Ivan said and sighed, "I wish you would trust me a little more." He said almost sadly and stopped using his spell as it seemed to be causing discomfort for the other.

Gilbert stayed silent, and simply put his head back down. He couldn't trust this guy even if he seemed nice. Though he wished he could. Gilbert, more than anyone, wished that he could trust someone, just the sad truth was that everyone had a dark side, and Gilbert seemed to be good at dragging that side out of people.

.

Ivan walked up to the door of his apartment building, and fumbled difficultly with the handle. Luckily no one seemed to be around to see him carrying some strange guy who probably looked beaten up and unconscious, and the last thing he wanted was to run into that woman who seemed to be pursuing him and see him with a good-looking, even if injured, man. He finally got the door open and walked in, thankful that it was warm and dry inside, and headed for his room. The albino opened his eyes a little and looked where he could. He saw that Ivan was walking up a flight of black metal stairs, about two stories up it looked, and the walls were a dull gray color. At least it was warm and he felt the chill finally leaving his body. Ivan stopped in front of a door, and quickly got it opened and walked in, letting the heavy door shut behind him.

The apartment was dark from the curtains covering the windows, not that much sunlight would even come in since the sun was hidden by dark stormy clouds, but he could make out the outlines of some furniture around the room. Ivan walked over to the couch, carefully kneeling down and setting Gilbert on the soft cushions. He turned and felt around for the lamp on the end table next to the couch and pulled a little string on it, letting the dim yellow-ish light wash over them both. Ivan glanced back at the albino, who was sitting there staring toward the wall. He was drenched in water, dirt and had blood stained on his skin, not to mention he looked like he hadn't slept or eaten in days. "You look terrible." Ivan said with a slight tone of humor in his voice. The albino didn't seem to find it very funny, as he scoffed and told the Russian to shut up. Ivan sighed softly at the command, "Alright listen. I know you don't like me but you're hurt, and you probably won't be able to walk well until later, so you might as well let me help." Gilbert kept silent, and Ivan sighed heavily and turned and walked away.

Gilbert glanced in Ivan's direction after he left and noticed that he was gathering some stuff from cabinets and walking around a bit. He looked down at his foot and tried to bend his ankle, which caused a bit of pain but it was tolerable, so with that thought in mind, he tried to stand... and _instantly_ regretted it when a spark of pain shot up his leg and sent him toppling over and collapsing onto the ground. Pained tears began to well in his eyes as he lay on the carpeted floor of the living room, "How humiliating." He grumbled to himself. At this moment he began to realize how stupid his idea was and he had no idea why he even tried to stand.

"What are you doing?" Ivan's voice came from behind him and he looked over his shoulders. "You tried to stand, didn't you?" he asked as he walked closer, setting a bowl, a white box, and some other things on the coffee table in front of the couch. He knelt down and carefully grabbed Gilbert's arm and lifted his torso. "Honestly, am I going to have to put a leash on you?--" Gilbert suddenly lashed his arm back at the comment and ripped it from Ivan's grip and he fell back to the floor. The Russian watched him for a moment and then sighed, "I'm sorry. I didn't really mean that..." He apologized and touched Gilbert's arm again. Gilbert twitched a little but didn't retaliate this time. He let Ivan lift him back to the couch where he sat in silence still, wearing an expression between fear, anger, and annoyance. Ivan didn't understand this man at all. One moment he's lashing back against him and the next he's submissive and cooperating. Well... 'submissive' isn't really the right word; more like 'tolerant'. He's tolerant of Ivan helping him, though not by much.

The Russian brought a damp cloth to Gilbert's arm which had been torn open yesterday and cleaned it as best he could without bringing too much discomfort to the other, though he accidentally opened it and caused it to bleed a little. Gilbert hissed softly and Ivan apologized again, and then laid a thicker towel across the cushion of the couch next to Gilbert. He held his arm over the towel as he grabbed a brown square bottle of peroxide and poured it over the cut, the liquid falling down onto the towel, and continued to clean Gilbert's wound. He glanced up at the albino, who was looking away from him, and thought for a moment. "So, can I ask for your name?" Ivan requested, smiling a little.

Gilbert craned his head back to Ivan slowly and gave him a nervous look, his mouth opened just a centimeter. He waited a moment, but finally said his name. "Gilbert." He said cautiously.

Ivan couldn't help but smile a little more since his question was actually answered. "No last name, Gilbert?" Ivan asked as he wrapped a white bandage around the albino's skinny arm. "Or do I have to earn more trust to find that out?"

Gilbert narrowed his eyes a little, "I don't remember it." He said and looked down, "A few years back I--" he began as he looked up, and then stopped when he saw Ivan staring at him with all the curiosity in the world shining in his violet eyes. Gilbert's voice caught in his throat and he looked away, not saying anymore. ' _What the hell am I doing?_ ' he questioned himself. Ivan's eyes clearly showed the disappointment he felt since that the other didn't continue, and he continued to wrap the wound and fastened the bandage. The Russian moved on and pulled a box from under the couch, and took out two pieces of wood and set them aside for now. He stayed silent and he carefully helped Gilbert's injured foot onto the couch with some assistance from the albino himself. Gilbert watched him as he continued on wrapping his ankle in thick bandages and then attaching the wooden splints to him as well.

Gilbert waited a moment before opening his mouth, "Where did you get all of this stuff...?"

Ivan looked up at the other male and chuckled. "I've gotten hurt a lot in the last year or so, so I've always had first aid around just in case. I actually fell out of the window in my bedroom about a year ago, broke my leg doing that."

Gilbert actually chuckled softly at that. "Idiot." He mocked.

Ivan smiled a bit, happy that the other seemed to open up a little, even if it wasn't much and was insulting him. "Anyway, I think you've sprained your ankle. You probably won't be able to walk on it fully for about a week or so." Ivan said, "Luckily I have crutches here that you can use until it heals a bit more, if you'll accept my help." He said, looking rather hopeful.

"Do I have a choice?" Gilbert grumbled.

"Of course. But I'll probably check on you like I have been." Ivan said and then sighed heavily, "At least stay here for the week so you can get back on your feet." The albino stayed silent and then glanced over at the other. He took note of the Russian's expression; his eyes looking like he was begging the other to stay, like he was lonely or something. In truth, Gilbert was lonely too but he coped with that over the years because of what he is and not being able to trust people.

Gilbert breathed out a defeated sigh. "Fine..." he mumbled, and let his head fall, "but don't think this means I trust you, because I don't." Gilbert said as he gave Ivan a look that he hoped showed that he was serious. Ivan chuckled a little at the look in Gilbert's eyes, but he knew he had to tread lightly around the albino, or else he might ruin it. He finally got the other to open up a little, and Ivan was still extremely curious about who and what Gilbert really was, but he was satisfied with what he got out of him; a name and even the smallest sliver of trust. It was a start, and Ivan was content with that for now.

Ivan soon began searching through a small box that he had put on the table, "Can you turn over onto your stomach, or turn your leg around?" he asked, admitting to himself that the request sounded a bit awkward. "There's a cut on your leg and it'll be easier for me to get to..." he said, trying to explain himself a little more.

Gilbert froze a little but did as he was asked, hesitantly laying down and turning over carefully, but finding it kind of annoying to do so due to his ankle being so bulky now. He glanced over his shoulder at Ivan, "If you touch me inappropriately, I'll kick you in the face with my good foot." He glared.

Ivan nodded, "I didn't plan on fondling you, Gilbert." He said and poured some peroxide onto the scrape on Gilbert's calf. He sighed a little as he did so, pressing a rather large band-aid to it. "You hurt yourself a lot, don't you?" he asked.

Gilbert folded his arms on the cushions in front of him and let his face bury into them so that only his eyes were showing above them. "No... occasionally I'll fall and get a scratch, but for the last week I've been bleeding almost every day..." he mumbled.

Ivan sat back a little and just stared at the albino lying on his couch. He didn't really know what to say to him aside from just apologizing, but he wasn't sure what he would apologize for. Then it hit him. "I'm sorry, a few of those incidents are my fault. I made you fall from a tree, I think, and not to mention your wings."

"Yeah, let's _not_ mention them, okay?" Gilbert grumbled quickly, turning his head away from the other. It sounded more like a demand than a request.

His words hurt Ivan a little, but he understood in a way, but that didn't stop him from being curious. "They're beautiful, you know." He said, but the other just seemed to stiffen up at the comment and somehow the atmosphere in the room seemed to feel heavier.

Just as Ivan was about to stand up, he heard Gilbert take a shaky breath. "Do you... want them?" he asked nervously, "Do they scare you? Do you think I'm a freak?" he asked and then looked back to the Russian with a terrified and sad expression, who was now giving him a slightly shocked look.

"No, no, and no. I'm fascinated by them, actually." Ivan said honestly.

"Why?"

"Why?" Ivan repeated, "Well... it's not every day that a person sees a man with actual wings sprouting from his back. One could think you're an angel but I doubt they exist but you never know. I guess more than that, though, I just want to know more about you." He said.

"Me?" Gilbert mumbled and then buried his face into his folded arms. "No... no, don't..." he droned on.

Ivan leaned forward and placed a gentle hand on the albino's shoulder. "It's alright, Gilbert, I'm not going to hurt you or do whatever you think I'm going to do. I'm just curious about you, that's all. Like where you're from and what you are." Ivan said. Gilbert stayed quiet, not ignoring the other but just feeling scared; he didn't even flinch at the touch on his shoulder. He didn't want to talk about himself or anything to do with his wings. He didn't want Ivan being curious about him and he wished that the man never even saw him; he just wanted to be alone and to go back to living how he used to. Being tired, hungry, dirty, broken, alone... it was better that way.

Ivan sighed softly after a moment of just looking at the other, "I understand, I'm sorry. I won't bring it up again." He said. "I'll make dinner now, alright? Is there something you'd like to eat?" he asked, trying to change the subject and hoping that Gilbert would answer him. The albino shook his head, keeping his face down in his arms, and Ivan sighed, "I'll just make whatever, then." He said and then stood up. "Before I do though, you need some new clothes. Don't worry, I'll let you dress by yourself unless you really need help." He said and then walked away down a small hallway. Gilbert looked up when he noticed that Ivan had left, and he just gazed around. The apartment was average, but looked elegant and modern. He actually liked it, and it felt nice to have a roof over his head and to feel a soft warm couch under him. However, he told himself that he couldn't get comfortable, he'd be back out in the damp forest again soon, but... would that be the last he saw of the strange man that seemed hell-bent on being his best friend? He doubted it. The man didn't leave him alone even after he kicked him in the stomach and yelled at him. Gilbert grumbled something to himself just as Ivan walked back to him.

"Here's the crutches." He said and leaned them against the couch, "I set some clothing out in the bathroom as well, just go down the hall here and it's the door on the right, wear whatever you want and feel free to clean yourself up a bit if you want." Ivan said and then went over to the kitchen area of his apartment, leaving the albino to do as he wished.

Gilbert positioned the crutches under his arms and stood up, feeling a bit wobbly but managing to stay upright. His leg felt heavy from the splints and stiff from the wound on his calf, and his arm felt like it was being squeezed because of the bandage. He had to admit though, it was nice to not be covered in bleeding wounds anymore, and his ankle was already feeling better, even if it was throbbing with a constant weak pain. He followed Ivan's instructions and swung his way down to the bathroom, where he found a pile of clothing laid out for him. He carefully sat himself on the toilet seat once he picked out a baggy gray T-shirt and some black sweats to wear since it was simple and comfortable, and began stripping his wet and ragged clothes. He took a glance down at his body and sighed at the little scars and marks dotting his skin, but quickly pulled the shirt over his head. Looking at the marks made his stomach twist a little and not in a good way like from excitement or anticipation, but fear. Sometimes the marks made him angry, other times, like right now, they would make him feel scared. He finished dressing and then went to the sink in the room. There was soap and towels lying around and assuming that they were for him to use, he turned the water on and wetted the soap and cloth and washed his arms and face, balancing by leaning against the sink and on one foot. He even let his hair run under the water a little to get dirt and even some blood out of it and then dried it off.

.

Back in the kitchen, Ivan had whipped up some potatoes and gravy with some little chunks of hamburger; something simple and easy, but filling. His mind wandered to the new addition to his life, and didn't realize until now how much trouble this might actually cause for him. Gilbert obviously hated him, or maybe just people in general, he wasn't really sure. He knew that as soon as Gilbert was able to walk properly again, he would take off and not have anything to do with him, which might be best in a way, for both of them. Ivan is not a people person and neither is Gilbert from the looks of it. He knew Gilbert disliked him and that he probably wouldn't open up anymore, but he _did_ tell him his name and he even began to mention something about his past. So Ivan figured that maybe if he showed Gilbert that he could trust him, maybe he would tell him what he really is. It was rather selfish of Ivan, though, since the only reason he had right now for keeping the man at his apartment other than to make sure he was alive was to basically get the truth out of him. A bit cruel, sure, but Gilbert wasn't exactly cooperating peacefully so being the overly nice guy wouldn't work as well as he had hoped.

Ivan looked up when he heard Gilbert coming from the bathroom. The Russian smiled forcefully at him when he saw him, trying to act like he wasn't thinking of anything wrong. "You look much better now." He said, telling the truth. Gilbert didn't reply, but just kept his pinkish-blue eyes locked onto the other as he continued to prepare the food. Ivan could feel the silence and the burning stare from the other, so he shifted his eyes up to the other. "Why are you staring at me?" he asked.

Gilbert's eye twitched a little and his hard gaze turned into a glare. "I'm trying to figure you out. I don't trust people, much less strange men who promise they won't hurt me." He growled with implications behind nearly every word.

Ivan stopped what he was doing and put his hands on the counter in front of him, looking down for a moment before he looked up at the other. "Then don't trust me." He said and then pushed one plate of food down the counter. "There's your food, eat it or don't, I really don't care, but I suggest you do." He said and picked up his own plate, taking it to the small table in his kitchen and began to eat. Gilbert stood there for a moment, and reluctantly took his food, taking a seat at the small breakfast bar and eating slower than he did before. The food was good, but he couldn't enjoy it, not in this atmosphere.

.

After eating, the Russian stood from his chair as he dabbed his mouth with a napkin, he then walked past the other and down the hall again. Gilbert followed him with his eyes, instinctively and secretly curious about what he was doing. A few minutes later, the Russian returned to the living room with a large quilt and a pillow and threw them on the couch. He glanced over at the other with an expression that Gilbert couldn't place; it looked like anger mixed with sadness. "You can watch TV, eat more, or read, just do whatever you want." Ivan said and pulled the string on the lamp to turn it off, "Or just sleep, I don't really care." He said and then walked back down the hall, which was followed shortly after by a slamming door, and Gilbert was left in the darkness of the living room, alone, and somehow feeling worse and even a bit guilty.

He eventually dragged himself to the couch after eating and just flopped down on the cushions, wrapping the quilt around his aching body and curling up into a ball on his side, being careful of his leg. He figured that he would try to sleep since he didn't feel like doing anything else that Ivan had mentioned before. He felt a sense of guilt and shame, yet somehow strangely content. It was a weird feeling and he had no idea what was causing it. He simply closed his eyes and hoped he would sleep in late and not have to deal with Ivan much tomorrow, or better yet, that this was all a dream. Though that was highly unlikely.


	3. Chapter 3

Speaking of dreams, Gilbert had one that night. More of a nightmare, really. Inside his head he was vainly screaming and crying out for help, but on the outside he simply looked like he was in pain, writhing around a little in his quilt and gripping onto the fabric with twitching hands. Once his eyes opened, he was slightly shocked to see that there was a dim light around him. The sun was shining through the curtains across the room in front of him and creating a very calm and quiet atmosphere. His eyes felt a bit stiff to move, heavy from his deep sleep apparently. He noticed that his stream of nightmares had left him sweating and his hair was actually sticking to his forehead a bit. He sat up and looked around and saw no sign of Ivan or that he had been nearby, everything was still as it was last night. His attention turned to his arm and he poked at it a little to test it, poking until he felt a small amount of pain in his bicep. His leg felt stiff and was falling asleep and the tingling made him uncomfortable and had him twitching a little whenever he would move even a centimeter.

He eventually wiggled his way out of the quilt, but kept a section of it over his lap. Gilbert never had the chance to actually look at it before, so he spent a moment to inspect it. It was made from a heavy material and was incredibly warm. It was white with squares of different colors sewn across it with patterns like flowers and dashed lines and random shapes, and the base fabric was white with little green vines crawling all over it. The quilt looked nice and well-made but had a bit of wear on it; the colors were beginning to fade and some of the thread holding it together was slowly loosening from the fabric. He wouldn't mind sleeping with it again tonight. He paused for a moment and stopped his hands from slowly grazing over the quilt when he realized that he actually _wanted_ to stay here. He wasn't really shocked, just a little confused, which quickly morphed into disgust. He was secretly reaching out for help but he refused that help with every fiber of his being, so now he just wanted to reject everything to do with this apartment, and he pushed the quilt off of him and leaned back against the couch, huffing softly to himself like a disapproving child.

He glanced to the door for a moment and noticed that the small dull gold door chain was hanging onto the wall rather than being attached to the door, which made him think that Ivan was maybe out somewhere. He reached over for his crutches and stood up, and he went down the hallway where Ivan's room and bathroom were, and both doors were open wide. Gilbert peeked inside Ivan's room out of curiosity; and the Russian was indeed gone, and Gilbert was actually kind of surprised when he saw that his room was rather messy, he figured that Ivan was one who liked to keep things neat and tidy, but his bed was a rumpled mess with the covers bunched up everywhere, and there were papers scattered all over a desk against the wall opposite the bed. There were also papers pinned to the wall of different magic symbols, some of which Gilbert knew. Simple things like fire and ice runes, and small healing spells, but there were other more complicated looking runes pinned up as well with several runes within them. Gilbert had a strange feeling about them, like he had seen them before but he couldn't place them at all. He shook his head as he seemed to get an image in his head of the same rune but drawn in blood, and he didn't know why. He backed away from the room and stumbled back into the front room to sit as he felt dizzy. He held his forehead in one hand as he squinted his eyes shut and tried to get the image out of his head.

After a moment, the door started making some clanking sounds and Gilbert opened his eyes to look toward it. Ivan walked in wearing a long white scarf around his neck and a heavy tan coat and closed the door behind him, sliding the door chain into its lock. The Russian looked to the other and his eyebrows knitted together slightly. "Are you alright?" he asked with more concern leaking through his voice than he intended.

"No I'm not." Gilbert answered quickly.

A silent moment passed, "Will you tell me what's wrong?" Ivan asked.

"I'd rather not." Gilbert replied and moved his hand away from his head. "Where did you go?"

Ivan blinked a few times, a bit surprised that Gilbert cared, but he had a suspicion that he was only asking to get off the subject of what was wrong with him. Ivan walked to the armchair near the couch and sat down. "I went out to let the landlord know that I was having someone stay with me for a while." He said, "By the way, if anyone asks, you're an old friend of mine who travels around and you just stopped by for a visit."

"I have to pretend to be your _friend_?" Gilbert groaned a little.

"Yes. I don't feel like hearing the rumors people will spread if I didn't have a story for who you are, and I'm assuming that you don't want to tell the truth, so I lied." Ivan said as he leaned onto his arm as his hand supported his head.

"... fine." Gilbert finally said but didn't look too happy about it.

Ivan glanced to the albino and watched him for a moment with sad eyes. He then noticed that the shirt he had on was too big and was actually falling off his shoulder a little. "Maybe you should wear something that might fit you better?" Ivan asked.

Gilbert looked up at him curiously and felt his shirt fall off of his shoulder more. Before he pulled it back up, Ivan saw another scar stretching across the curve of the albino's shoulder, and he sighed a little. "You have something that might fit better?" Gilbert asked.

To that, Ivan nodded and stood up, and then motioned his hand toward Gilbert to follow him. He waited for the other to steady himself on his crutches and then began walking. With Gilbert following close behind him, he led him to his bedroom. "Please excuse the mess." He said as he flipped on the light, "I've had a rough week, so..."

Gilbert looked around, not commenting on the messiness of the room. His eyes instantly went back to the runes on the wall, but he didn't comment on those either. His eyes snapped over to the Russian as he heard the sound of a door creaking. Ivan had opened the door of his standing wardrobe and once again motioned for Gilbert to come over, and Gilbert went to his side and looked into the wardrobe.

"Here, pick whatever you want. I bought a bunch of clothing a while back out of depression so at the time I didn't care or notice that they were too small for me." Ivan said as he rubbed his neck a bit nervously, and Gilbert walked a little closer to the wardrobe.

The albino let out a soft whistle at the sight of clothing, "You sure that it wasn't part of your master plan of having me here?" he said as he began shuffling through the clothes.

"Maybe it was fate." The Russian suggested half-jokingly, but seriously wondering it himself. Something seemed to be telling him to be around this strange man, but he wasn't sure if it was just him being desperate or not.

"I don't believe in fate." Gilbert mumbled as he picked out a black button-up shirt and held it in front of his body to check the size. It looked like it would fit decently, might be a little loose, but that was fine.

Ivan chuckled softly, "I guess you're not an angel then." He said.

Gilbert froze a little and looked at the ground, glaring a little at the carpet, "Don't sound so disappointed." He said and then turned his glare to Ivan, "Do you really think an angel would let himself be trapped here like this?" Ivan blinked a few times and shook his head silently, "Then I guess you should have known better." Gilbert finished and turned back to the wardrobe and pulled out some black jeans.

Ivan watched the albino as he continued looking through the clothes. He felt a bit baffled. He didn't have hope for Gilbert actually being an angel, but there was so much in this world that he was unaware of that he couldn't dismiss the possibility of it. Still though, he wondered why Gilbert got even _more_ moody when angels were brought up. For now, Ivan would keep quiet, but he hoped he could get some truth from the other eventually.

Gilbert turned around and looked back at Ivan to see him staring at him. "What?" he asked a bit harshly.

"Just trying to figure you out." Ivan answered.

"Well stop. There's nothing _to_ figure out."

The Russian sighed, "If you say so, but I can tell there's a lot that you're not telling me; your eyes hold a lot of hatred for people, and I want to know why."

"That's all well and great but it's _really_ none of your damn business." Gilbert retorted and draped his new clothes over his shoulder and began to walk away on with his crutches.

Ivan sighed heavily and closed his wardrobe. 'Maybe I can _make_ it my business.' He thought to himself.

.

While Gilbert was changing in the bathroom, Ivan returned to the kitchen to cook something to eat. He decided to go with a typical breakfast food like waffles. Of course, his mind was still fixed on Gilbert and just what his problem was. He admitted that it would be a little hard to trust a stranger, even Ivan himself was a little wary of Gilbert, but Ivan hadn't made any unwanted advances toward him to gain distrust... though to Gilbert, just being around him was probably an unwanted advance. So he would just have to try a bit harder, and hopefully not seem too pushy about it.

Gilbert swung himself out of the bathroom and joined Ivan in the kitchen a few minutes later, standing by the breakfast bar where he was last night. He looked at Ivan as he was cooking and the Russian didn't look at him, he knew he was there but didn't look. The albino wanted to say something, but he couldn't think of anything to say to the man, so he stayed quiet until the other male looked up at him.

When violet eyes landed on the others body, he actually smiled a little as he slid some waffles onto a larger plate. "Those clothes seem to fit better. They suit you too." He said. He admitted secretly to himself that it was interesting to see such a contrast between Gilbert's pale skin and his new black clothing.

Gilbert looked down at himself, "I guess..." was the only thing he could really reply with. Keeping silent seemed too rude, even for him, and thanking Ivan seemed too friendly.

However, Ivan smiled a bit more at the reply and picked up two plates. "Come, it's time to eat." He said and walked over to the small kitchen table in his apartment. It was just big enough for two people, which was fine for Ivan since he usually only had himself to dine with. He sat down after placing the plates of food in front of the chairs, filled two cups of water and sat them on the table as well before finally sitting down. Gilbert was hesitant but slowly moved over to the free chair and sat down, leaning his crutches against the counter next to him and being careful not to hit his foot on anything such as the table legs or the chair. Ivan had already begun to dig into his waffles but Gilbert couldn't help but stare at him again, there was just something about the Russian that caught his attention, and he was trying to figure out what that was. After some chewing and a swallow of syrup covered waffles, Ivan glanced up and saw the others eyes fixed on him.

"This again?" he asked, referring to how Gilbert seemed to always be staring or glaring at him.

Gilbert's expression shifted slightly, his eyes were wondering and squinted a little, like he was trying to look right through the other. "Your name. What is it?" he asked.

The Russian raised an eyebrow at the other. "Ivan, my name is Ivan Braginski." He answered and took another bite. "Your food is going to get cold." He said. Gilbert looked down at his plate which Ivan had kindly prepared for him, even after all of his bad attitude, and cut a piece off with his fork and ate it. He continued to eat it and actually began enjoying himself.

"So why did you ask for my name?" Ivan asked after a few silent seconds, inwardly grinning and kind of giddy to hear the others response.

Gilbert stopped eating for a moment and thought. ' _Why_ **_did_ ** _I ask?_ ' "Just curious. I might actually call you by your name one day." He said with a slight tone of sarcasm in his voice.

Ivan actually let out a small chuckle. "Gilbert," he said the others name in a tiny sigh and caught the man's attention, "how about we do this; we'll ask each other questions, back and forth, that way we can get to know each other a little better." He suggested. "If you're going to be here for at least a week, I'd like you not to be a complete stranger."

Gilbert blinked a few times and shoved another piece of waffle in his face. "Fine." He mumbled, giving in because he actually had a few questions himself and, well, what is the _point_ of refusing? He had already giving in so many times; he didn't see any harm in this stupid little game.

"Good, you can go first since you're a guest here." Ivan said with a tiny smile.

Gilbert actually pondered his first question for a bit. "Why are you helping me?" he finally asked.

"Haven't we gone over this already? I feel like we have." Ivan said and sighed softly. "You saved me, and you're homeless and alone. I may not be homeless but I am alone. Despite you hating my guts and kicking me there too, I find you interesting and want to know more." He said honestly.

' _I don't hate you, idiot. I wouldn't be eating with you if I did._ ' Gilbert groaned to himself, and his irritation showed through on his face.

"Is something wrong?" Ivan asked after noticing.

"No, Not at all. Your turn." He said and ate another piece of his waffle.

"Alright... when's your birthday?" he asked.

"Don't know, I don't remember." The albino replied with a monotone voice.

"Okay, what about your age?" Ivan tried again.

"I dunno... 23, 24... somewhere around there?" Gilbert mumbled, now poking at his waffle and looking a bit depressed.

"I see..." Ivan sighed silently and leaned back in his chair. ' _So much for learning anything about him. He's like a closed book with blank pages inside._ '

It was silent for a minute or two and then Gilbert glanced up through his white lashes and took a breath. "Did you... _want_ me to be an angel...?" Gilbert asked, albeit quietly.

The question caught Ivan off guard and he blinked in shock at the other for asking another question and because of the question he asked. He thought about his answer, because he could tell that the subject of angels was a touchy topic with Gilbert. "No. I was hoping you weren't." he said, "I think I'd much rather have you just be whatever you are, and not have to worry about expecting something more angelic of you, that way I can enjoy you for who you are."

Gilbert blinked at the other and actually tilted his head a bit. He wasn't sure what to think of Ivan's reply, it actually kind of confused him, but... it made him happy to know that Ivan didn't want him to be an angel, that cleared up some stuff he was worried about, and thought, ' _Maybe I can actually trust this guy... maybe._ ' "Thanks, I think." He replied after a long pause.

Ivan nodded a little, "May I ask another question?" he asked, and was pleased when Gilbert didn't hesitate much to say 'yes'. "Your hair and eyes are unusually colored, is that because of what you are or are you albino?" he asked.

"Albino. I was born this way, so..." he answered, "Does it freak you out?"

"Not at all. I think it's interesting."

Gilbert felt the corners of his lips twitch, threatening to pull into a smile, but he forced it back. "I see... I have another question for you too. I remember you used a spell on me yesterday and I saw some runes in your room, so what sort of magic do you use?" he asked.

Ivan's eyes widened a bit, completely forgetting to hide some of the papers in his room. "I uh, I do simple things." He said and lifted his glass of water and began to tilt it, keeping his other hand to the side of the glass with his fingers spread and curved a little. The water slid down the side of the glass and nearly poured out onto the table, but froze solid before it could reach the surface. "Small spells like this. I prefer doing tricks with magic, rather than using it to hurt people or become stronger." He explained and then his hand twitched, and the water frozen in the air began to melt, instantly evaporating completely before any droplets hit the table. Gilbert had been entranced from the moment Ivan froze the water, but was knocked out of his trance once the water was suddenly gone, that child-like excitement leaving his eyes. Ivan was a bit shocked that Gilbert seemed so entertained by his magic; he assumed that Gilbert would know magic since he was obviously something of a magical nature, but any theories as of why the man was so amused by it were escaping him.

The albino couldn't stop his mouth from pulling into a slight smile. "You can cast these spells without drawing the runes or speaking incantations. You must be pretty skilled."

Ivan chuckled softly. "I'd like to think so. With a lot of practice, I managed to be able to cast them without needing anything besides my mind. It also helps if spells are fueled by emotions." Ivan said, and noticed the curious look that appeared on Gilbert's face, which actually made him a bit uncomfortable since he was used to that face glaring and being rude to him, not looking so full of curiosity, but he did like the change of pace. "For example; for anything dealing with heat or fire, it helps if you feel great passion for something or someone."

"You just evaporated frozen water in like, 2 seconds; Dare I even ask what you're so passionate about?" Gilbert joked.

"Magic. I've loved magic since I was young. Though I had a rough patch growing up where I stopped and did something more socially accepted like sewing and knitting and the like." Ivan said.

"Knitting? Really?"

"You wouldn't have that nice quilt if I didn't." Ivan said and leaned forward on the table and grinned a little since Gilbert seemed to get a bit embarrassed by that as he leaned back and scoffed a little. "Was the angel thing really the only thing keeping you from trusting me?"

"I _still_ don't trust you, but it does make me feel better that you don't think I'm an angel..." Gilbert said and looked down at his plate.

Ivan's eyes saddened a bit, hinting some hidden meaning behind Gilbert's words. "May I ask why?" he asked.

Gilbert slowly shook his head. "Maybe someday, but not today."

Ivan left it at that. He knew there was a slim chance of Gilbert actually telling his secrets, but at least he got something out of him and found that he was entertained and maybe even interested in magic. It was nice to see someone enthused about magic since he had seen a decline of audience at the theater and he himself was losing his passion for magic again. It felt good to actually entertain someone again. With these thoughts whirling around in his mind, Ivan had begun to clean his plate and set it in the sink. He noticed that Gilbert was done as well so he took his too.

"Gilbert, would you like to come with me to town? I'd like to pick up a few things." Ivan asked as he turned to the pale man sitting in his chair still.

Gilbert bit his bottom lip a little. "You mean, go outside? Into the public? With _people_?" he asked as a slight tone of fear rose in his voice, as well as a panicked look on his face.

The Russian chuckled a bit in disbelief, "Yes, that's what I mean. How long has it been since you've spoken to another human?"

Gilbert stayed silent, and looked away.

"Gilbert."

"Years. 4, to be exact." He answered reluctantly.

"Oh..." Ivan mumbled and leaned against the counter. "I see... well you don't have to go if you don't want to, but I'd like for you to come and maybe pick out some stuff. Like food you like to eat, or even some clothes that you pick out."

Gilbert glanced up at the other with a hint of worry in his eyes. "Do I really have a choice?"

Ivan tilted his head to the side a bit, "Of course you do; I just said that... why wouldn't you have a choice?" Ivan asked.

Gilbert looked away from the Russian, "... I'm used to being told I have a choice, when I really don't..." he mumbled quietly.

Ivan's eyes saddened and he walked to the other. "Gilbert, I may be forcing you to stay here and I might be a bit rough sometimes, but you'll always have a choice, and I'll respect that. I just want to make sure you're alright before you go back off on your own." He said, and actually ruffled Gilbert's white hair a little, trying to bring his mood up a bit.

The hand on his head made Gilbert tense up, as he wasn't sure how to really respond to the seemingly affectionate gesture. Even so, he didn't retaliate, and simply hung his head down a little. Ivan noticed and he stopped messing with the others hair, but simply let his hand rest there. Gilbert eventually glanced up, feeling more awkward than before and just looked at the other, wondering why he was doing what he was. "We should head out then." Ivan said once he saw Gilbert look at him, and he removed his hand and stepped back a little. "Also... I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable just now." He apologized.

The albino shook his head. "It's alright, you didn't do anything wrong, so don't worry about it..." Gilbert said and grabbed his crutches and then stood up.

A silence took them as they walked together to the door. Ivan dressed himself in the same coat from earlier and re adjusted his long scarf around his neck. He then grabbed another coat, shorter and black and turned to Gilbert. "Lean on one foot and give me one of your arms." He said, and Gilbert shifted his weight to the side, letting his good foot support him and holding out one arm as Ivan slid the coat over him. He repeated this with the other arm and even helped support Gilbert by letting the man grip onto his shoulder so he wouldn't fall. Ivan let Gilbert button and tie himself up and then suddenly wrapped a plaid scarf around the albino's neck, covering his mouth and tying the fabric behind his head so it would stay. Gilbert stared at him over the top of the scarf, wondering why he was being treated like a child; though with his attitude and injuries, he did resemble a child a lot.

.

Ivan led Gilbert out of the apartment building and into the parking section where his neglected car was. He hadn't driven in so long since he took to walking everywhere, so it was odd to actually be in it and driving again. Gilbert stayed silent during the entire car ride while Ivan tried to make idle chitchat by commenting on the weather, which was getting colder and wetter before the coming winter. He commented on how the sky looked, or how the trees were nearly bare. Eventually, he gave up on conversation after a while though, and just joined Gilbert in his silence.

The albino may have not been speaking, but his mind was screaming. It had been so long since he actually went somewhere where people flock to, and quite frankly, he _really_ didn't want to go, but for some reason the thought of being left alone in that apartment bothered him more; or at least he thought so until he started seeing other humans walking down the street and driving in their cars, and he panicked a little inside, like he had never seen any of this stuff before. Obviously he knew what it was, but he had never operated a car before in his life, nor did he ever once speak to anyone other than family before. At least, that's what he thought; he figured his memories of these interactions were just missing or blocked. Either way, he didn't have any experience with this sort of thing at all, so it freaked him out a little.

Ivan soon pulled into a parking lot and got out of his car. Gilbert stayed seated, even with his seatbelt still buckled. Ivan soon walked around to the passenger's side of the car and opened the door, leaning down and raising an eyebrow when Gilbert shifted only his eyes up to him. "I promise nothing's going to eat you, Gilbert." He said and unbuckled the albino's seatbelt for him. "I'll even hold your hand if you want." He joked, grinning a bit. A small, disapproving grunt came from the back of Gilbert's throat and he looked away. Ivan sighed to himself and gathered Gilbert's crutches from the back seat, handing them to Gilbert. He had some trouble getting out of the car on crutches but he eventually stood to his feet and Ivan closed the door behind him, locking the doors with his keys.

Gilbert stayed close to Ivan's side as they walked up to the giant mall; One, because he didn't want to trip and fall with less of a chance that someone would catch him, and two, because people were staring at him and being close to someone he at least was acquaintances with was giving him a slight amount of comfort. However, Gilbert did notice that most of the people looking at him weren't looking at his hair, but rather at his leg and their faces had a bit of that curious concern on them. So he guessed it was fine for now.

Ivan held the door open for the injured albino so he could go in before him. The cold chill that was wracking his body left when the two finally entered the building, and Ivan soon took the lead again though, as Gilbert didn't want to go off on his own, not even more than 5 feet. The first place Ivan took Gilbert was a clothing store within the mall, to which Gilbert just looked around strangely.

"You look around, Gilbert. I'll come with you and just let me know when you find something you like." He said. Gilbert nodded slowly and began to walk through the store. He didn't pick anything though, and just looked at everything with a confused look, and Ivan sighed a little and placed a hand on Gilbert's shoulder, causing the man to jump a little and turn his head to the other. Ivan leaned down so his face was a few inches from Gilbert. "Do you know how to shop?" he asked with a tiny smile.

Gilbert growled a little, "No, idiot. Didn't you hear me say that it's been 4 years since I've talked to people, I don't have any memories like this." He said.

Ivan wasn't expecting to hear the last part of Gilbert's sentence. What exactly did that mean? "I'm sorry..." he apologized and looked away, looking around to the clothing around him. He suddenly pulled out a long-sleeved black sweater and held it up to Gilbert. "Why not get stuff like this? You'll be out on your own again and I don't want you to freeze." He said.

Gilbert looked at the sweater and then up to the taller man. There was something in Ivan's eyes, something sad, but Gilbert simply nodded and agreed. Ivan continued to help him pick out clothing. Mostly winter gear and even his own trench coat made of heavy black wool that reached down to his calves. A few knitted hats, gloves and thick socks, and heavy sweatpants and jeans too.

Ivan paid for everything himself, leaving Gilbert to look around at other things that were in the checkout isle. Which was very amusing to Ivan, the albino was like a clueless child, he really didn't know what some of the things were, like tweezers or gum, and he even blinded himself with a pocket flashlight. Of course, the best part was when he picked up a small box of condoms and just looked at it intensely. Ivan let out a little chuckle and a sigh at the same time, and the woman at the counter grinned a little.

"Would you like to buy those too, sir?" the woman asked in a rather teasing tone with a giggle at the end. She directed her question at Gilbert, as she was leaning over the counter a little to give him a playful look, but Ivan answered when Gilbert looked up wearing an expression of complete confused innocence.

"Uh, no thanks." Ivan said, actually blushing a little when the woman looked to him, and then took the box away from Gilbert, setting it back on the shelf.

Gilbert actually glared up at Ivan when he did, not really understanding. "I was reading that." He complained, and the woman at the counter laughed softly as she continued to bag the clothing.

"You shouldn't be reading that, you don't--" he stopped and leaned in toward Gilbert's ear, which made the albino twitch back a little, "Don't go picking up anything unless you know what it is." He whispered and moved away. Embarrassed, he handed the woman his money and grabbed the bags. As the two walked out, Ivan could hear the woman giggling to herself.

.

"Why did you take that away from me?" Gilbert asked as Ivan settled down on a bench.

The Russian facepalmed into both hands and ran one through his hair. "You really had no idea what you were looking at?" he asked as he looked up at the albino. Gilbert shook his head and Ivan sighed. "Sit next to me." He instructed and Gilbert did, Ivan moved a bit closer though so that their bodies were nearly touching, the edges of their coats smushing together. The Russian leaned in a bit closer, "You know what sex is, right?" Ivan asked, his face tinted a little pink.

The albino twitched away from him, "O-Of course I know that! What does this have to do with--‽" he began to screech, but Ivan covered his mouth to shut him up before he drew attention to them.

"Okay good, at least I don't have to explain _that_." He said and let his head fall. "Come here, I'll explain it in your ear, I don't want people to overhear me explaining this to a grown man." He said in a hushed tone. Gilbert blinked a few times and did indeed lean closer. Ivan sighed and began to whisper into his ear. After a minute or so, Ivan moved back a little from the other. As embarrassing as it was to explain the function of condoms to another male, Ivan admitted that it was hilarious to see the rather disgusted look on Gilbert's face, along with a bright blush spreading across his cheeks, like his innocence was just soiled.

"So... then, that, um..." Gilbert mumbled. "That woman! She thinks we--!"

Ivan covered his mouth again, "Stop yelling. It's fine. I'm just glad you didn't tell her that you wanted to buy them."

Gilbert nodded slowly. "Yeah, me too... I don't like this 'real world' thing, it's scary."

"It can be... by the way, how much don't you know about? You seem to know enough to survive, but things like people, cars, and condoms freak you out."

Gilbert looked down, fumbling his fingers together. "Certain things I remember, or I remember certain parts of some things. I've never drove a car before, so getting in one after I have no memories of them kind of weirded me out. I hardly talked to people, but I do have memories of my family, and some... others." He said.

"And condoms?" Ivan asked.

"No."

"No?"

"Never seen them before." Gilbert mumbled almost ashamedly.

Ivan smiled a little and scooted away from the other to give him the space that he looked like he needed. "Don't worry about it, it's not your fault. Besides, everyone learns things as we grow; you just have to learn some things again, or for the first time. I don't know."

Gilbert kept his eyes on his hands and didn't reply to Ivan. Instead he was asking himself why he spilled so much info about himself. It was just nice to have someone to share this with, someone who wouldn't exploit his weaknesses and hurt him with the knowledge.

Ivan smiled a little and stood up, standing in front of Gilbert. "Let's get some hot chocolate, okay?" he asked, looking rather happy.

Gilbert looked up at the Russian and blinked, "What's that?"

"It's a drink; I think you'll like it." He said. Gilbert stood up and agreed. "Then we can go to another store and get some food you like."

"Can we get those weird fruit things that you gave me the other day?" Gilbert asked hopefully.

Ivan enjoyed that Gilbert was actually asking for things now. "Sure, we'll get as much fruit as you want." He said, smiling softly at the other.

.

The rest of the trip went better than Ivan had thought it would, since Gilbert was closed and not very interested in what he had to say or offer, but it seemed that dragging Gilbert outside made him kind of open up to Ivan, and Ivan liked that. He felt like he was needed by Gilbert so he wouldn't make any mistakes or hurt himself. He only wished he knew what other things were on those blank pages of the closed book known as 'Gilbert'. At least he opened a little, and for now, that's all Ivan could ask for.


	4. Chapter 4

Ivan rose early the next morning, feeling happier than he had in a long time, and his new routine of waking up, making breakfast and speaking with another person seemed to fulfill a part of him that he had wanted filled for a long time. He was busy quietly cleaning the kitchen area while the albino was still snuggled up on the couch sleeping peacefully and letting out soft snores every once in a while. Ivan couldn't help but smile at the sight, and thought that he looked much like a sleeping child; a child that needed him more than he realized and was too stubborn to admit or possibly even realize it. The Russian began to notice that his actions recently weren't to actually protect Gilbert out of responsibility or to repay him for saving his life, but because he was just insanely interested in the albino. Ivan wouldn't admit it out loud, at least not yet, but he found himself wanting to ask the other male more questions about his life; like about his family that he mentioned yesterday or what sort of things he enjoyed doing, or the question he really wanted to ask: what he really was. He'd even settle for teaching the man new things that he wasn't aware of in this world. It was intimidating to Ivan that Gilbert didn't know much about the human world because he was afraid he would do or say something that would freak him out, but he couldn't imagine what it was like for Gilbert himself, knowing that there are things out there that he didn't and couldn't understand unless he let down a barrier that he so desperately wanted to keep up. Ivan only hoped he could slip past that barrier and let Gilbert know that it was alright; that even though this world is full of danger and untrustworthy people, the world is also beautiful and worth every second of being on it.

Ivan continued on to washing some dishes, keeping as quiet as possible as he glanced over once in a while to see if Gilbert had woken up. Ivan smiled a little at the running water that was splashing softly over the white plate he had in his hand. He moved his other hand and swiped his finger through the air in front of the plate, causing some of the water from the faucet to follow the direction of his finger rather than a straight stream down. He continued using some petty spells on the water, heating it up to clean better and just making silly shapes. He would even heat the plates to dry them. The smile never left his lips either. It was strange to be using magic for such trivial tasks such as washing dishes, but it was something he always used to do before his passion for magic began to snuff out. He couldn't help but think that Gilbert's interest in his magic had brought a bit of joy back to him. That excitement that would shine in those pinkish-blue eyes reminded him of the children he used to perform for, and that's what his life was. Somehow, Gilbert managed, all by himself, to restore a little bit of faith in the Russian.

Ivan finished in the kitchen and leaned against the breakfast bar and just watched Gilbert sleep. He probably looked a bit creepy with that tiny smile playing on his face, but it was automatic; he couldn't get rid of it. He wondered what the albino was dreaming about right now. ' _He looks like an angel..._ ' Ivan thought to himself, ' _but what are you really, Gilbert?_ '

' _And what happened to you?_ '

' _What happened to your memories?_ '

' _And what about the scars covering your body?_ '

Ivan's mind was attacking him with questions for the sleeping albino, and he desperately wanted to know more about him. His thoughts were silenced when he heard a soft groan come from the other side of the room, and he forced himself to focus. Gilbert stirred awake and groaned more as he shifted onto his side and pulled his quilt over his head like he was trying to keep the light out. It was cute, and when Ivan realized that he just thought it himself, he felt a bit strange, like he shouldn't have thought it at all. He told himself that it was okay for someone to think a stranger was cute since it was usual for relationships to be triggered by attraction. Ivan had seen plenty of attractive people, but this felt different. He couldn't tell if it was because Gilbert saved him and was bringing some joy to his life, or if the man was just cute. Either way, he invaded Ivan's thoughts nearly every second of the day.

Another groan from the albino knocked Ivan from his trance and he blinked to refocus his eyes. Gilbert sat up and ripped the quilt off of his head, causing his hair to spike up in ridiculous directions; a _massive_ , and rather hilarious [and cute], case of bed hair. The albino turned and looked toward the kitchen, his eyes widening a little but overall not seeming to be bothered that Ivan was literally staring directly at him with violet eyes blinking in confusion.

"I don't like the sun." he stated bluntly and yawned, to which Ivan laughed a little.

"I'm sorry, that's one thing about the world you'll have to get used to." He said and watched as Gilbert untangled his blanket from his body and swung his legs off the couch. "How do you feel this morning?" Ivan asked as he made his way over to the armchair by the couch and sat down.

Gilbert tried to fix his hair by ruffling it and pressing it down, but he had no success and continued to look like he was just electrocuted. "Fine, I guess." He replied, rubbing his eye free of some sleep. "Can I take a shower today?" he asked and continued to ruffle his hair around. His lips puckered up a bit in a small pout, giving him the appearance of a displeased child.

Ivan leaned forward in his chair and supported his upper body with his elbows on his knees, "I suggest you take a bath instead. Your ankle is still healing so I don't want you putting too much pressure on it.

Gilbert nodded, "I guess you're right..." he agreed, ' _I don't want to keep hurting myself..._ '

Ivan stood up and then knelt on the floor next to Gilbert's legs. Gilbert was about to question him but stopped when Ivan began to unfasten the straps on the splints attached to his foot. "We'll see if you can walk at all. If you can manage that well enough, you won't have to wear this anymore, but you should probably still use the crutches." Ivan said and then set the wood aside. He looked up at Gilbert, who was looking down at his ankle. "How does it feel?" Ivan asked.

Gilbert tilted his ankle to the side a little, "There's a little bit of pain." He said as he felt his ankle hurt a little. "But it's not bad, only a little stiff."

Ivan paused for a second before he stood up and then held his hands out to the other, "Give me your arms and we'll see if you can walk." He said. Gilbert seemed to be somewhat used to being treated a bit as a child by now since he lifted his arms with little hesitation, allowing Ivan to gently take hold of them both. With Gilbert lifting his weight on his healthy foot and Ivan lifting him up, the albino rose from the couch and wobbled a little as he carefully placed his injured foot on the floor. Ivan watched him, ready to catch him if he should fall. Gilbert's face wasn't showing any signs of pain as he put more pressure onto it, so Ivan let his hands off of Gilbert's arms. The albino stood there for a second and then took a careful step forward to test how much weight he could put on his ankle. Despite it hurting, he wasn't too surprised when a sharp pain shot up his leg and the right side of his lower body went limp, but he was grateful that the Russian reacted just as quickly and caught him, letting his hand slide under the albino's arms to support him. In reaction to falling, Gilbert's hands actually gripped tight onto the Russian's biceps, being the first thing he could firmly grab as he fell face first into the man's larger chest, making a soft grunting sound as he did and groaning a little at the pain. Overall, he just sounded annoyed. Ivan held onto the other so he could regain his balance, and looked down at the top of Gilbert's head; his spiky hair was just under the tip of his nose and was starting to tickle his skin.

"You okay?" Ivan asked and kept the other close unless he pushed away. Ivan didn't want Gilbert to fall again, but he just hoped that he wasn't making him uncomfortable.

Gilbert grumbled something to himself and moved his face out of the Russian's shirt and glanced up at him. His face clearly showed how tired he still was, and the pain from his ankle was still showing too. Not to mention his hair still looked a mess. "Yeah, fine." He replied with soft tones of sarcasm lacing his voice. He moved back a little and tried to lean on his bad foot again, this time able to keep himself upright a little better than before. Ivan kept his grip in place this time and let the other move as he wished. After a moment of Gilbert staring down at his foot, he began to move it more, and a tiny smile showed up on his lips.

"I think I can walk." He said and looked up at the other. He was ready to speak more but was stopped when his eyes connected with Ivan's. He hadn't noticed before, probably because he didn't care to notice little details, but Ivan's eyes were the color of lilacs. The irises were a light purple, a liquid color that illumined in the light, and around the outer edges of his irises there was a line of darker purple circling them, making them stand out more. Gilbert had never seen something like them before and there was something about them that just felt magical.

"Is something wrong?" Ivan asked when he felt the intense stare from the other, as well as the hands on his biceps twitch a bit tighter.

Gilbert shook his head slowly, "No... your eyes are just..." ' _Pretty..._ ' he finished mentally without a second thought. "Uh, interesting. I've never seen the color before." He said, now feeling a bit awkward for thinking the others eyes were pretty.

Ivan blinked a few times at the other, picking up on the strange way he was acting. He chose not to question it. "I see... does the color bother you?" he asked. And Gilbert shook his head.

"No, they're just different." ' _Like I have any room to say that._ ' Gilbert looked away from the other and pulled back a little, but was a bit alarmed when he felt Ivan's hands on him tense so he couldn't move too far. His eyes shot back to him, as if asking what he was doing.

"A good different, or...?" Ivan asked.

"I don't know." Gilbert said and started to push back a little more, "L-Let go of me, you're freaking me out." He stuttered a bit, looking around the room a bit frantically now.

Ivan noticed the look of slight panic in the albino's face and he let go, but kept his hands by him just in case. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to scare you." He apologized.

"I wasn't scared." Gilbert mumbled, which was a lie, "I was just a little nervous. I don't like being held down or smothered." He said. Ivan apologized again and looked away from the other. Gilbert glanced back to the Russian and noticed that he looked hurt and a little depressed, and he let out a heavy, irritated sigh. "They're _pretty_." He said reluctantly, his features clearly broadcasting how much he didn't want to actually say it.

"What?" Ivan asked, looking back to the other with a little bit of confusion in his eyes.

"Your eyes." Gilbert said. He kept his face turned away so that Ivan hopefully couldn't see the embarrassed blush that was inevitably spreading across his pale cheeks. "I've never seen purple eyes, and I like the color so I think they're pretty, or whatever..."

Ivan actually smiled a little. "Thank you. I don't think anyone's ever said that before." He said. The Russian did notice the blush on Gilbert's cheeks and thought it was amusing. ' _He's embarrassed for giving a compliment. Or maybe it's because of the compliment he gave?_ ' he wondered.

"Yeah, you're welcome. Can I take a bath now please?" he said a bit rudely, wanting to distance himself a little bit from the other after his awkward comment.

Ivan nodded and backed up more from the other. "I'll walk with you just in case you fall." He said and gently placed a hand on Gilbert shoulder. Gilbert nodded in agreement, knowing that it was for the best, even if he wanted some alone time now.

Ivan walked with the wobbly albino to the bathroom and waited for Gilbert to sit down. The Russian moved to a cabinet where he kept clean towels and took two out, placing them on a rack next to the bathtub. "Use whatever you want, and take as much time as you need. I'll be in the living room if you need anything, okay?"

Gilbert thought for a moment about what he could possibly need, but just nodded and said thanks.

And with that, Ivan left Gilbert to himself.

.

The albino let out a hefty sigh once he was finally alone. He felt like he had Ivan looking over his shoulder at all hours of the day aside from sleeping, and even today he woke up to that very situation of Ivan watching him sleep. He missed his solitude; just staring into nothing for hours, not having to worry about anyone else and just getting lost in heavy thoughts. He wasn't sure what to do with his thoughts anymore now that Ivan had uninvitingly invaded his mind. The man was nice, but there was something unpredictable about him, like he could just snap and do something weird. Gilbert couldn't shake this feeling he had about him; it made his stomach tie into a little knot, like he was nervous about what would happen if a silence took them for long enough. It wasn't like Ivan had done anything to gain mistrust but Gilbert was someone who had a hard time trusting strangers, and he thought maybe that was his problem.

' _Am I starting to trust him too much?_ ' he asked himself, ' _When did I even start trusting him?_ ' he looked down at his hands for a moment before he stood up.

It took a few minutes for the bath to fill, and he spent those minutes unwrapping the bandages on his arm and leg once he stripped his clothing off. His body was still covered in marks, healing or otherwise. He was constantly surprised by how well the skin over his shoulder blades healed even after his wings would rip his skin open when they extended, but possibly the marks he hated the most were the ones on his lower stomach and groin: Burn marks, made with heated metal rods and occasional spells. Like he was once branded like an owned animal. It was disgusting and if he thought about it too much he could still feel the hot metal scorching his skin and his stomach would twist into a tight knot.

The water of the bath washing over him made him truly realize how achy his body really was. It was amazing how heated water could just unravel one's kinks and just melt the stress away. Warm water was a luxury that Gilbert had lived without since as far back as his memory would allow him to remember, so it was nice to just sit here, head tilted back, eyes closed, without a care in the world. He was satisfied and totally relaxed until one sentence ran through his mind without him even being conscious of it:

' _This is all thanks to Ivan._ '

The truth behind the statement was something that he couldn't deny. His wounds were healing and the pain was nearly gone. He was clean and had new clothing and had good meals each day multiple times a day, and he had a warm soft place to lay his head at night. These facts were undeniable and he found himself strangely okay with them. He glanced over at the door of the bathroom and brought his eyebrows together, puzzled. ' _Maybe staying wouldn't be so bad... he hasn't done anything wrong, and only wants to help._ ' He thought, and then dunked his head under the water in an attempt to clear his mind. He shook his head a little when he came back up, causing little droplets of water to fling off the tips of his white hair, and opened his eyes even though it caused them to sting a little from the water that leaked in, and he told himself that he shouldn't be thinking about this right now, as being in a bath and thinking about some random guy tended to make a person feel a bit awkward; but the fact that he _didn't_ feel awkward about it is what was making him feel awkward.

He mentally face palmed for this, shaking his head more and then sighing as he leaned back, sliding down into the tub so that the water touched just under his chin. ' _My foot is nearly healed and it's only been a few days... so I could probably leave tomorrow if I want..._ ' he thought.

He continued with his bath after he realized that the water was getting cold and his hands were beginning to look like prunes. Flipping the cap on a nearby bottle labeled 'shampoo' and squeezing some of the translucent red substance onto his hand and then lathering it into his snow-colored hair, massaging his scalp thoroughly. It was a bit disgusting but he hadn't had a decent bath in years, so this felt _fantastic_. Being alone in the woods with no money and a fear of people limited luxuries like this, and honestly he rather enjoyed the smell of pomegranate that was filling the air around him. Whatever pomegranates were. It was much better than smelling like dirt, sweat and having dried blood on his skin. After washing the suds from his hair, he picked up the bar of silky feeling soap and gently glided it up and down his arms and legs. The wounds on his bicep and calf were healing and developing scabs now and felt a bit sore to touch. He carefully rubbed around the wounds to soap up his skin and clean the dirt off of his body. He was dirty, and he even felt disgusted after seeing the amount of dirt wash off of his body. When he was done, his skin was shining from being wet but felt smooth now and clean, and literally seemed as bright as the white floor tiles and tub.

.

Back in the living room, Ivan was leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed. While Gilbert was away for just over an hour now, Ivan's mind had wandered to some places similar to where Gilbert's had gone. Ivan wanted Gilbert to stay but knew that once he had the chance to leave, he would. He assumed that Gilbert felt like a caged bird and Ivan didn't want to keep him from his life, but Gilbert was obviously not completely happy with the way things were before. He was enjoying what Ivan was providing him with and was even asking for things and was now experiencing a life he never really had. The Russian thought about it and he honestly wouldn't mind having Gilbert as a roommate; he was clean and didn't make much noise, though his personality could change on a dime if he actually opened up, but Ivan doubted that he would dislike what was behind that barrier Gilbert hides behind, and Ivan enjoyed showering people with gifts and spoiling them, so if Gilbert wanted anything it was likely that Ivan could get it for him. He may be a little distant but Ivan hopes to close that gap eventually. ' _Maybe if I tell him more about myself, he'll share more about himself..._ ' Ivan thought, thinking it was the best way to break the ice.  

He was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice that Gilbert came into the room until he came into his sight. The albino seemed to be walking decently which gave the Russian some relief that he could walk on his own and not fall on his face, but the man had startled him a bit so his heart was thudding a bit slower in his chest.

"How do you feel now?" he asked as he mentally noted that Gilbert looked healthier now and actually noticed the color difference of his hair. He must have had dirt _caked_ onto his body for him to be almost glowing like this now; his skin shining with cleanliness.

"Fine." Gilbert answered and sat down on the couch. Ivan noticed that he seemed different, but then again, he didn't really know what normal behavior _was_ for Gilbert.

"'Fine' as in 'I'm really okay' or 'fine' as in 'I don't want to talk about it?"

"A bit of both." Gilbert grumbled, pulling his quilt over his body and snuggling back into the cushions of the couch. Ivan sighed a little and leaned back as well, when he glanced at the albino again, he saw the man looking at the quilt like there was something on it. "You said you made this, right?"

"Yep." Ivan replied, and continued to watch the other as he grazed his hands over the fabric again.

"You also said that you had a 'rough patch' growing up..." he mumbled, his eyes narrowing a little. "What happened?" Gilbert asked, glancing up at the other.

Ivan was completely shocked, even his mouth was hanging open slightly at the question. He didn't expect Gilbert to bring this up or ask questions on his own, but this was a good thing, right? If Gilbert was expressing some interest in his life, that meant he had some interest in him. More importantly, he had some _trust_ in him. "... will you tell me something about yourself if I share my story?"

"... I might."

That slim chance was good enough for Ivan. "I used to live with my father and two sisters, but uh... our house burned down. The fire killed my father..." he mumbled down at the floor before looking back up at Gilbert, "The uh, the fire was my fault." Ivan took a small breath, "I wanted to know more spells, so I stupidly decided to try a fire spell that was too advanced for me at the time, and well, I basically set a bomb off in my room."

"I'm sorry." Gilbert apologized quickly, "I didn't think your story would be so sad..." He felt a bit guilty for asking now; the look on Ivan's face was getting more and more hurt by the second. "I didn't mean to make you upset..."

"We all have our scars, Gilbert. No matter how small or big." Ivan said, smiling sadly. "Anyway, I was injured but lucky to be alive, but after I recovered a few weeks later, I ran away because I thought I was a hazard to my sisters. So I ended up in this town, was homeless for a while until an old lady took me in and taught me how to sew and knit. She passed away a few months after and I was homeless again, but I learned that she left some inheritance to me for some reason, she even referred to me as her adopted son, so I got some money and I set myself up in this apartment." Ivan stopped after he felt like he had been talking too much and waited for Gilbert to say something.

"So... then what got you back into magic?" Gilbert asked, his curiosity showing through and not going unnoticed by the Russian. It pleased him that Gilbert was showing interest, but he couldn't shake this knot he had in his stomach...

"The local theater wanted to hire me. Said my eyes made me look magical or something, so I joined up and was with them for about 3 or 4 years I think." He said, and then chuckled sadly, "Actually, a few days before you saved me, I got fired from there. Which... was why I was out at that cliff..."

"You wanted to end it..." Gilbert mumbled quietly, unconsciously clinging to his quilt.

Ivan nodded slowly, "Yeah... but something was holding me back." He let out another weak laugh, "I know it sounds stupid, but I believe that we were both there for a reason. I feel like we were supposed to meet..." he paused for a second before speaking his next sentence. "This sounds even more stupid but I feel a connection to you." He closed his eyes and sighed, "I just want someone nearby, I'm sick of rotting alone." He admitted.

Gilbert stared at the other for a moment before he pushed the quilt off of him. "Show me some of your magic." He said quickly, his eyes filled with worry.

Ivan gave him a bewildered look, but simply nodded. "What would you like to see?"

"Anything, just do _something_ ; I don't care what it is." He said, his desperation to fix the depression he had caused in the other was clear in his voice.

Ivan nodded again and stood up; he sat down on the coffee table between Gilbert and himself so that he was closer to the other and held one hand up, lighting a small fireball that began to hover in the center of his palm. "I want to show you something. Hold out your hand and touch it gently to the edge of the flame." He said with a smile.

Gilbert's eyes shone with some fear when Ivan told him to do so, "It... it won't burn me?" he asked and Ivan shook his head. The little smile that the Russian wore was genuine, so with a little hesitation, the albino held his hand up and carefully leaned his hand in. Their hands were about 2 or 3 inches apart, and Gilbert felt warmth from the fire, but it wasn't hot and didn't feel like it was going to burn his skin at all, which was strange considering the flame was less than an inch from his hand. It felt like a warm blanket covering every part of his body, which was a strange sensation in itself. His eyes snapped up to Ivan, as if asking for further instructions.

"Good, now think about something you're passionate about, or something that you used to be passionate about. And don't pull your hand away until I say so." Ivan said, keeping his hand steady and still, handling the fire with profession. Gilbert nodded weakly and closed his eyes and began to think. He waited for a moment like he expected something to happen, and just as he was about to ask what was happening, he felt a sudden surge of heat race through his body that centered at the palm of his hand.

"Open your eyes, Gilbert, look at the flame."

Ivan said, and Gilbert blinked his eyes open, and almost pulled his hand away. ' _How did I do that...?_ ' The flame, which had been colored red and bright orange, was now pure white with translucent baby blue flames dancing at the edges. Gilbert was confused and he looked to Ivan for answers or an explanation.

"Pure and innocent, childish, but fiercely loyal." Ivan said, grinning a bit. "Am I right?"

"What are you, like a palm reader with fire or something?" Gilbert retorted.

"Sort of. Like I said, fire is controlled mostly by emotions; the stronger the emotion, the hotter the flame. It's almost like your personality is thrown into the fire as well." He said. ' _What did you think about, Gilbert?_ ' he asked himself, knowing that white flames were the hottest. Even he couldn't get the flames a solid white like that.

Gilbert's eyes narrowed a bit as he watched the flame dance between their two hands. He couldn't believe that he actually managed to pull this off. ' _Why did I think that..._ ' he asked to himself and then glanced up at Ivan. ' _I don't understand this at all._ '

Ivan looked up from the flame and into Gilbert's eyes. The white flame was flickering and causing Gilbert's eyes to shimmer and even look intimidating, but they were beautiful nonetheless. Ivan sighed softly and pressed his hand a little closer to Gilbert's, nearly closing the gap between the bases of their palms. "Gilbert... I have to thank you." He mumbled, the fire reflecting in his violet eyes as well. "I stopped using magic after I was fired, but when you first showed an interest in magic, I started using it again. I think you've lit that little flame in my heart for magic again." He said with a little smile.

"Don't get so sappy." The albino retorted, turning his head a little. He felt his cheeks warm up a bit though, but he blamed it on the burning flame between them.

"I'm sorry, but it's true."

"Yeah yeah, okay now how do we get rid of this flame?" Gilbert asked, raising an eyebrow at the Russian. Without saying anything, Ivan drew his hand back slightly and pointed his finger at the flame. "Hey what are you doing?" Gilbert asked, panic rising in his voice a little. Ivan remained silent and began moving his finger forward. The flame reduced in size and began to disappear. Gilbert felt the palm of his hand heat up, like the flame was going into his skin and then he felt the nail of Ivan's finger poke his palm slightly, and the flame was gone.

"There." Ivan said and leaned back a little. Gilbert reacted by quickly turning his hand to his face and looking at it like it was missing.

"What did you do to me?" He asked defensively when he looked back up to the other.

"Nothing. It's a trick. I made it look and feel like the fire was going into your hand." He said, grinning a bit at how panicked the other looked. "All I did was loosen my control on the heat from the flame so you felt it more, then I directed it into your palm, and presto; a fun little trick."

"Yeah just make sure you don't burn my hand off." Gilbert said, huffing softly and crossing his arms over his chest.

"I won't, I promise." Ivan assured him. "Your turn now." He said.

"What?"

"Your turn to tell me something about yourself."

"Oh, right... uh..." Gilbert mumbled and thought. "Well... I used to love magic too. I was really good at what I did but I could never use fire or ice like you can. I was more of a protective magic user. Wards, force fields, stuff like that. My healing magic was good too; I could even lift petty curses from witches and cure poison."

"Can you show me some of it? I'm not particularly good at that sort of magic." Ivan asked, seeming pretty excited.

Gilbert looked away sadly, "I can't."

"Why not?" Ivan asked, tilting his head a bit.

Gilbert breathed in heavily through his nose and let it out in a sigh, "I lost my ability to use magic when I was... uh, when some stuff happened to me a few years back."

"Ah... I would ask if you'll tell me what happened, but I feel like you'll say 'maybe someday' again."

"Yeah, maybe..." Gilbert mumbled, looking down.

Ivan stood up and walked closer to Gilbert. "Don't worry about it, Gilbert, I'm not trying to force anything out of you." He said and ruffled Gilbert's hair again. This time, the albino didn't react strangely; he just stared up at the Russian with slightly widened eyes. The gesture made him feel safe, which was strange for him since he hated the idea of people touching him and people in general made him nervous, but Ivan's hand was warm and comforting.

Gilbert finally looked down, feeling his cheeks warm up in embarrassment. "Hey um... thanks for everything... and I... I'm sorry about my attitude the last few days." He apologized, keeping his gaze at the floor.

The larger man's eyes widened a little but he smiled, and then gently ran his hand through Gilbert's hair, ruffling the clean snowy locks again. "Don't worry about it, Gilbert." He said. Gilbert looked up at the other after a moment, looking guilty and sad and the look made Ivan's smile disappear. "I feel like I should hug you..." He thought out loud.

Gilbert's pinkish-blue eyes opened a bit more before he shifted them aside. "Just don't squish me." He mumbled quietly, giving Ivan permission to actually hug him.

Ivan was a little hesitant to actually do it even though he got the okay to, but he took a seat next to Gilbert and carefully snaked his arms around the smaller frame of the other male. Gilbert was _much_ smaller than him but he didn't fully realize _how_ small until he was between his arms, and his own body seemed to just dwarf Gilbert when they were close together. Though it's true that Ivan is big-boned and Gilbert's malnourished. Gilbert didn't move at all and just let Ivan maneuver around him, like he was waiting and didn't want to seem nervous. Once Ivan had his arms around the other, Gilbert actually leaned his head into Ivan's shoulder. He felt tired, and emotionally screwed, and he was nearly on the edge of crying. His hands shakily wrapped around the larger male's broad shoulders and gripped tight, like he was clinging to him for dear life. Ivan smiled a little at this, but was shocked when Gilbert turned a little toward him and began actually snuggling closer, and buried his face into the pool of Ivan's neck just above his collarbone. The albino's warm breath tickled Ivan's skin as he exhaled shaky breaths, and something seemed to snap in Ivan's mind where he had this _unbelievably_ strong urge to squeeze the other a bit tighter and kiss the top of Gilbert's head.

' _What would you do if I did that...?_ ' Ivan asked himself as he leaned down a bit, his eyes narrowing a little. ' _Will you push me away, or would you...?_ ' he felt his heart thud in his chest just before his lips gently grazed the short spiked strands of hair on the top of Gilbert's head. He felt Gilbert shift slightly in his embrace but there was no real reaction. So Ivan pressed his lips down more, tightening his arms a little. The albino moved and looked up at the other. His pinkish-blue eyes shone with confused distress, and Ivan looked just as confused but guilty as well. The Russian shifted his eyes away from the other and apologized quietly, his cheeks actually turning a light shade of pink. When Gilbert saw the color coming onto Ivan's face, he wasn't sure what to really think, he couldn't be upset about it because, well... he was beginning to blush too. He felt the kiss in his hair but wasn't alarmed by it; it felt like someone was gently playing with his hair, like when Ivan was ruffling it before. It felt nice. Being hugged like this felt nice. _Ivan_ felt nice.

Unconsciously, Gilbert moved closer again, letting one cheek press into Ivan's chest. The Russian was still a bit flustered and now confused by Gilbert's actions, but he couldn't help but assume that Gilbert was okay with being hugged and kissed on the head, so he tightened his arms once more and leaned his head down again, not kissing again but just letting his face bury deeper into the snow-colored hair of the albino.

.

Neither of them remember how long they stayed like that or how they got out of that situation, but eventually they ceased their hugging and pretended like the encounter didn't leave them feeling a bit awkward and different about each other. Ivan, to break the awkward silence, went back to showing Gilbert some more magic tricks. Freezing the air between them and then performing the most difficult trick he could: disappearing and becoming invisible. Gilbert was thrilled about it, smiling like a child on Christmas morning. He had never seen someone able to fully disappear without a trace like that before, so he was ecstatic about it, and Ivan had never seen someone so entertained by magic as Gilbert was, not even the children at the theater. It made Ivan want to show him more, maybe even teach him something, but the fact that Gilbert couldn't use magic dampened his desire for that, still, those thrilled short chuckles and star-filled eyes was enough to keep Ivan happy. Another part of him was being filled, and it was a part that he didn't realize he even _wanted_ filled. He only hoped that if he was ever to say anything, Gilbert wouldn't be frightened of him for it... he's certain that he is developing a crush on the other...


	5. Chapter 5

The night came quick, and the two men had spent most of the evening hours exploring magic. Well, Gilbert sat there and continued his adoration of Ivan's magic while making sarcastic comments once in a while, and Ivan just enjoyed seeing the other happy and entertained since, as a former performer, that was what he lived to do. It was also nice to see that Gilbert had another personality under the one he first met; one that was fun and smiled more. Ivan wondered what else Gilbert was keeping locked away, but he guessed that he would figure it out eventually, as things seemed to be going well between them, at least Ivan thought so; he even began to mentally call Gilbert his friend, and that's what he wanted to be; his friend. 

The two had parted ways to sleep and Ivan found himself back in his room thinking about various things while he was changing into more comfortable clothing to sleep in. Gilbert's ability to change the fire white was amazing and something that Ivan couldn't even do himself; he had a hankering to find out what Gilbert had thought of, but it was probably something that he kept close to his heart and something he wouldn't likely tell someone easily. However, there was something else that was bothering Ivan; the fact that Gilbert could even affect the fire was astonishing. After stumping himself on that, he began to think about his little crush. Yes, a  _ crush _ ... it hit him like a brick once he finally gave a name to the feeling, but he still didn't quite understand it. He knew that crushes typically started with a physical attraction, so then he suddenly made a mental list of everything that he found attractive about Gilbert, which made him blush a little because of the contents of that list, and the realization of how much time he actually spent actually looking and studying the man. Regardless, he enjoyed his personality too; there was just something fun about Gilbert, something young and free-spirited, and maybe even wild, and he hopes to eventually find out what that something is. He wondered what Gilbert was like once he fully opened up to someone, but for now, this was enough. 

.

Gilbert was plopped down onto the couch again and he quickly snuggled into his quilt. He really enjoyed seeing Ivan make fire and ice dance around like it was second nature to him. The sight reminded him of his childhood and teen years, but it made him miss using magic; it was one of the few things he could remember of living at home with his family, with his mother and brother.  Even though he couldn't use fire or ice or any other elements, he was good with other types of magic and he enjoyed how his mom and brother thought he was amazing and great at something. He admitted that he felt the same way as Ivan did when he first lost his magic. Lost, like you don't have a purpose anymore, the joy in your life snuffed out like a cheap candle. Of course, Ivan still has his magic; he could still have that joy if he wanted. 

After some heavy thinking and several minutes spent staring up at the speckled gray ceiling of Ivan's apartment, Gilbert finally drifted off into sleep. 

.

_ He was chained to a wall, his naked body hanging limply and aching everywhere. The ache was a welcoming feeling, all things considering, but it was quickly replaced with a burning sting as a whip slashed across his chest. It broke the skin and warm blood began to trickle down his chest and belly, dripping down and forming a little puddle on the floor in front of him. He tried to scream, but a cloth was suddenly tied around his mouth and he was silenced before any more than a strangled whimper could slip between his lips, and then there was another crack of the whip, sending his head flying backward as it made contact with his bare skin. Tears began welling at his eyes before flowing over and rolling down his cheeks as his body went numb. _

_ /  _

_ His head was heavy and there was a high pitched ringing in his ears. He tried to move but quickly realized that his wrists and ankles were strapped down by what felt like dry rotting leather. As more feeling came back to him, a constant throbbing pain flowed throughout his entire body like a wave. His eyes blinked open sorely, and he saw that he was in a dark room lit only by a small white lamp. The rough leather rubbed against his bare skin, his private parts covered by a thicker strap of leather; a detail he noticed as he lifted his head and saw it, he also noticed a bloodied bandage wrapped carelessly around his chest. Suddenly there was a sharp prick into his left bicep and he turned to look. There was a man standing there in a long white coat, and he was inserting a needle into his retrained arm. The man pushed his thumb down on the syringe and the dark liquid inside began to drain into him. Feeling terrified and useless, Gilbert could do nothing aside from stare at the situation in front of him. The man pulled the needle out and placed it onto a tray next to the table or bed that Gilbert was strapped to, and then turned back to Gilbert, leaning down and softly brushing the albino's longer white hair from his face. Gilbert twitched his head away and opened his mouth to protest but found his voice silent' his throat burning and causing him to be unable to make even the slightest noise. The man wore a dark grin as he pulled back and walked away, leaving Gilbert in the room to himself.  _

_ / _

_ Gilbert was standing in an empty room, not strapped down to anything but still completely unclothed. He took a glance around and noticed dried blood on the walls, and after a moment, he felt something in his back, like something was crawling under his skin and trying to push out. His skin broke open suddenly and something came out, and it sent a shock of pain through his entire body that numbed him and he hurled over onto the ground. He felt large amounts of liquid dripping down his skin and he looked to the floor under him when droplets of it hit. Blood, red and shiny dripping down and splattering against the floor. He reluctantly looked over his shoulder to see what had come from his back; a large bent and curved bone extended from his shoulder blade, stained and dripping with blood. His eyes widened and he started to feel faint, hearing his heartbeat thudding slowly and loudly in his ears. Not long after, another bone sprung out from his other shoulder blade, and his entire body went limp with numbness, his vision blurred and he collapsed onto the cold cement floor, and he was about to lose consciousness. _

_ 'Wake up.' a faint voice called out to him. 'Wake up...' _

.

"Wake up..." a different voice said, and he felt someone shaking his body. "Gilbert wake up!" the voice shouted again. Suddenly his eyes shot open wide and dim light and the sight of Ivan leaning over him with a frantic and worried look on his face filled his vision. Ivan moved back a little as Gilbert sat up quickly, gripping at the blanket around him and blinking his eyes frantically. The albino's face was etched with dread, and tears were drying in streams down the sides of his eyes. 

"Gilbert are you okay?" Ivan asked from beside him; he was still holding onto his shoulder, gripping protectively onto the other male.

Gilbert's eyes were wide with fear but he didn't make any attempts to push Ivan away. "Wh-- what are you doing up?" Gilbert asked, his voice shaking.

"I woke up to use the bathroom and I heard you crying, so I came to check on you." Ivan explained and gently rubbed at Gilbert's shoulder with his palm, "Gilbert are you okay?"

Gilbert looked down and shook his head. He was beyond hiding his feelings now; he knew better than to lie to Ivan at this point when it was so blatantly obvious that he was terrified. The albino placed a shaking hand onto the one on his shoulder. The gesture confused and even surprised Ivan, but he moved to sit on the edge of the couch where there was just enough room for him to sit. Gilbert shifted a little but not away from Ivan, but rather he moved closer to him and was still holding onto his hand; Ivan couldn't help but notice the severely desperate look in Gilbert's eyes, and how useless it made him feel for not being able to help the scared man.

The Russian leaned forward, closer to the other and took his hand back only to wrap his arm down around Gilbert's waist. Ivan thought that Gilbert would at least protest this but he didn't, not at all, and actually full-on welcomed it by nuzzling [more like hiding] his face in Ivan's chest. This surprised the Russian even more, and while he was worried about Gilbert, he couldn't help but blush a little at how cute the gesture was. When Gilbert's hands tightened on Ivan's clothing, the Russian leaned down and placed several soft kisses into the albino's snow-colored hair. He whispered reassuring things to him, things like, 'it's alright', 'I'm here' and 'It'll be okay' while quietly shushing the shaking man between his comments, along with gently wiping at the now dried tears around Gilbert's eyes.

After minutes of being coddling by the Russian, Gilbert finally moved back and apologized, still looking distressed and scared. "What time is it?" he asked quietly.

Ivan leaned to the side to look at the clock, which read 3:46am, and he repeated that time back to Gilbert as he gently rubbed up and down the albino's side in a soothing manner

"You should go back to bed." Gilbert said, "Sorry I kept you up..."

Ivan shook his head and pulled the albino a bit closer to him. "It's fine Gilbert, but... why don't you come with me?" he asked.

"To bed...?" Gilbert asked with some trepidation in his voice, looking up at the Russian.

Ivan nodded, "Just for tonight, so you feel safe; you don't seem to want to let go of me." He said, supporting his comment up by placing a hand over one of Gilbert's which was still tightly gripping onto him.

Gilbert shook his head quickly and finally moved back a little, looking a bit panicked now, and Ivan simply held onto him and rubbed his hand up and down his back to try and sooth him and let him know that he wasn't implying anything. "I'm just trying to help, Gilbert." He said, but Gilbert simply looked away. Ivan smiled sadly and leaned closer to the albino so that he was a few inches from Gilbert's head. "I promise I'm not going to hurt you." 

This comment made Gilbert look up at Ivan, and he stared wide-eyed at the Russian for a moment. Gilbert had heard those same words once before and they were a lie, but for some reason he wanted to believe Ivan so badly when he said them; he wanted to just give in completely and let Ivan know his secrets and his scars. Everything, and just let Ivan comfort him. Gilbert was starting to get drunk off of the comfort Ivan was providing him with, and he was beginning to not care if it was wrong to want it so badly, though when he's back in his right mind he'll probably say he was just clinging to comfort.

Ivan studied the look that Gilbert was giving him until he just couldn't take that pathetic face anymore; he just wanted to fix it. Suddenly the Russian stood up and took ahold of one of Gilbert's hands, "Come on, you look like you need sleep, and it'll be good for you to sleep in an actual bed for once." Ivan said and tried to smile but it just looked sad. Until Gilbert gave a weak squeeze to the hand that was holding his and stood up slowly. Ivan actually did smile then, and even kissed the albino's forehead with no protest from the smaller man, which made Ivan happy and he could have sworn that he saw a small blush creep onto Gilbert's slightly confused looking face. 

Ivan carefully pulled the albino along with him to his room; he looked like a lost puppy just following the nearest person for help. Ivan only hoped that Gilbert wasn't just clinging to him out of desperation but actually liked him as well, though it wouldn't change how the Russian acts toward the other. Ivan flipped on his bedroom light after pushing the door open and waited for Gilbert to enter with him, he turned to the albino. "Would you mind if I closed the door?" he asked, wanting to make sure that Gilbert was as comfortable as possible. He only received a small shake of the head in response. Ivan sighed softly and closed the door and then walked over to his bed, still pulling Gilbert along with him. He patted the bed as a gesture for Gilbert to sit, and he did, albeit a little hesitantly, which was expected after having an obviously terrible nightmare and being around a near stranger. Ivan turned on a small lamp next to the bed and then walked to turn off his ceiling light. When he turned around to walk back to the bed, he saw that Gilbert was already laying down, his eyes closed and his body facing in toward the bed. He was curled up with his legs pulled to his chest and his arms and hands were tucked between his chest and legs. 

Ivan went back over and settled himself on the bed, sitting upright and leaning back against the headboard and looking down at Gilbert. After a moment, the albino opened his eyes and looked up at Ivan, looking like he was asking what he was doing; there were still traces of fear in those pinkish-blue irises. The Russian simply smiled softly, almost lovingly, and grazed his fingers against Gilbert's bangs, brushing them aside so that his forehead and eyebrows were showing. The gesture made Gilbert's eyes slide shut, and he even nuzzled his head weakly into the gentle hand that continued to play with his hair. It felt nice, better than he thought it would. Then again, this was the comfort that he was clinging to, but like before, he really didn't care; when Ivan turns on him, that'll just be a bridge that Gilbert will cross when he comes to it. 

"I wish you'd tell me what happened tonight..." Ivan said, letting his thumb rub against Gilbert's smooth forehead before going back to brushing the albino's hair with his fingers. 

The paler man slowly opened his eyes, not blinking. "... I don't want to talk about it yet." 

Ivan nodded and stopped his hand from moving. "I understand." Was all he said and moved back a little, and slipped himself back under his blanket and laid down. There was about a foot and a half between the two men; Ivan didn't want to make Gilbert feel trapped, since he mentioned before that he hated being smothered.

Gilbert didn't care; he simply couldn't find any need or want to protest or even feel threatened or awkward about lying next to the Russian. Though he did gasp a little when Ivan suddenly threw the blanket over his body; not because he was wary of the action, but simply because it had surprised him. Ivan still had that smile on his face, and for the first time in a long time, Gilbert felt truly safe.

.

Ivan had woken up before Gilbert, and was content with just lying there next to him, watching the albino sleep soundly. After trying to wake him up last night from his nightmare, the peaceful look on Gilbert's face was a welcoming sight. He admitted that he was being creepy again by watching someone sleep for so long, but he otherwise didn't have a chance to just memorize the albino's face without him getting upset, which was just as creepy as watching him sleep. His skin was so pale and his eyebrows and eyelashes matched his hair, his eyelashes were quite long too. His lips were a pale pinkish color and were parted open a centimeter or two as he breathed in and out. The thing that caught Ivan's attention the most was the fact that Gilbert's face didn't have any flaws. No scars, no marks, nothing, just smooth pale skin. The rest of his body was littered with blemishes but his face looks like it was carved from marble by angels.

Okay, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration but Gilbert is pretty, among other things. 

When Gilbert started to move and stir awake, Ivan still continued to stare. When those pinkish-blue eyes blinked open tiredly, Ivan simply smiled at him. Gilbert blinked a few more times and then his eyes widened at the sight before him; Ivan leaning on his elbow and almost grinning at him.

"Good morning sunshine." Ivan greeted with a little laugh at the end. Gilbert simply groaned and pulled the blanket up over his head in response, clearly not ready to wake up. "Shall we go eat lunch now?" he asked, since it was after noon already.

"You're such a creeper, you know that?" Gilbert's muffled voice came from under the blanket. Ivan chuckled a little and then pulled the covers down so Gilbert's face was revealed, "Watching someone sleep, that's  _ really _ creepy." He grumbled, but Ivan could have sworn that he saw a light tint of pink coloring Gilbert's cheeks. 

"I know, but you're fascinating so I can't help it." Ivan admitted.

Gilbert's eyes narrowed a little and he looked away from the other. "I don't like when people take an interest in me, it never ends well." 

Ivan sat up and sighed, rubbing his head and straightening out his hair a little. "You said something like that before, not to take interest in you. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable of think wrongly of me, and I've said many times that I won't hurt you. Besides, I haven't done anything to bother you, have I?" Ivan asked as he slid off of the bed and stretched a little, while Gilbert finally sat up.

"No, I guess you haven't..." the albino replied in a quiet mumble.

The Russian glanced back to the other once he heard the reply, and he laughed a little, "Your hair is a mess." It was true; Gilbert's hair was sticking up in the back due to the shortness of it and sleeping on it, and Ivan just couldn't take him seriously right now when he looked like a strutting peacock.

Gilbert pouted angrily and started smoothing out his hair with his hands, which did little to nothing as far as fixing it went. "Well you are the only one who has given me a decent place to sleep, so I guess I can't be too angry." The albino grumbled and then his eyes narrowed, "And food, clothing, and a bunch of other stuff... sorry, I've been a crappy guest." Gilbert said, rubbing the side of his neck and looking down. He was just realizing how much of a jerk he had been, and that he should be more thankful that Ivan didn't want much in return.

Ivan's eyes saddened and he walked around to Gilbert's side of the bed and sat down next to him. "You don't need to apologize, Gilbert. Just, try to open up a little more, okay?" Ivan said, smiling softly at the other. 

Gilbert glanced over to Ivan and gave him a pathetic look, but he nodded a little anyway. He wanted to open up more to Ivan, he truly did, but that little voice in his head was there again screaming 'no!' at him. 

Ivan stood up, "I'll go start making lunch; come join me whenever you want." He said and then walked out of the room.

Gilbert waited a moment after Ivan had left before he fell back against the bed, his head slamming onto the pillow. He realized how weak and pathetic he was last night, clinging to Ivan and snuggling into him like a scared puppy. He was embarrassed for acting like that, and was almost ashamed to even look at the Russian now. What did Ivan think of him? Did he think he was weak and pathetic like he felt? There was no sense in making it more awkward than it needed to be, so Gilbert gathered what pride he had left and moved off of the bed, wobbling a little and being careful with his foot. Surprisingly, his foot didn't hurt at all, and most of his cuts and scratches were nearly healed. He twisted his foot at the ankle to test it further and it was still a little stiff but he could walk fine on it. He walked out into the living room, where the smell of waffles filled his nose. He felt his stomach rumble a little and he was suddenly really excited to eat. 

Ivan turned around after hearing a chair move and he smiled a little at Gilbert. "I see you're walking better than before." He said as Gilbert sat at the small table.

The albino nodded, "It doesn't even hurt anymore..." Gilbert said and glanced away. 

Ivan noticed the look but decided to ignore it for now. "How do you feel this morning? Did you manage to sleep alright last night?" the Russian asked as he gathered some plates and other utensils for eating.

Gilbert nodded again, "I didn't have any nightmares after I went back to sleep... and sleeping in a bed was more comfortable than on a couch..." he said. His gaze was brought up when he heard the plates being set on the table. 

Ivan was smiling even as he took his seat across from Gilbert. "That's good, I'm glad to hear it." Ivan said and began to eat. Gilbert joined him and the two were silent for a few minutes, just quietly eating and clanking silverware being the only noise they really heard. After a moment, Ivan cleared his throat and then looked to Gilbert, "Can I talk to you about something?" he asked.

Gilbert glanced up, his eyes wide and blinking as a piece of waffle hung in his mouth. He quickly swallowed the food and nodded, "Yeah, sure." He agreed, wondering what Ivan wanted to talk to him about, thought he did feel a bit worried about it. 

The Russian sighed lightly and pushed his plate to the side, leaning onto the table and folding his hands in front of him. "It's a bit of a weird question, but you said before that you lost your magic. Did you actually lose it or did you just lose the knowledge of how to cast it?" he asked.

Gilbert leaned back in his chair. "I... I thought I actually lost it, but... I did lose a lot of memories, so I'm not so sure..."

"I think you still have magic. The flame trick from yesterday, you have to inject your own magic into the flame by using your emotions to get the color to change." As Ivan said this, Gilbert's eyes widened greatly and his heart thudded in his chest. "It's all part of the 'magic is a part of your soul' thing. I think maybe your magic is just dormant, and you don't have the knowledge of how to use it anymore."

Gilbert narrowed his eyes a little, "Which means, I could relearn how to use magic..."

"Exactly." Ivan said and smiled, "I could teach you what I know, if you want. Who knows, it might even jog your memory."

Gilbert nodded in agreement, and actually smiled a little. He brought his hand up and looked at his palm. "Hey... is it possible for healing magic to heal its user without actually being cast?"

The Russian tilted his head a little and thought, "I think so, but it must be some strong magic to have a mind of its own, though."

"I see... well, never mind then." 

"You're healing unusually fast, and you think it's your magic, don't you?" Ivan said, and smiled when Gilbert looked up at him like he couldn't believe what he had just said. "I can tell. Your ankle should still be sending sharp pains up your leg but you're walking around fine after a few days. And all the cuts you had, they're all healing pretty quickly too." 

Gilbert leaned his cheek into his palm and sighed a little. He wasn't sure what to make of all of this. The idea of his magic being dormant and him just not knowing how to use it, and maybe it even healing him without him doing anything was exciting him, and he wanted to learn and use magic again, but that would mean sticking around with Ivan for longer than he had planned...

"I have another question." Ivan said to get Gilbert's attention, and he did. "What do you say we go out today? I'll take you to get ice cream, and maybe get you used to living like a normal human." The Russian grinned a little.

Before Gilbert could even think, he replied, "Fine, I guess it couldn't hurt..." the words came out like they didn't have his permission, like deep down he really wanted to learn more than just magic, but about this world that Ivan was willing to ease him back into.

Ivan smiled happily and he stood up, "Wonderful, let's go get dressed and we'll be on our way." He said and then took his plate to the sink. Gilbert smiled a little at the sight but hid it by shoving more food into his mouth. Ivan seemed so happy that he agreed to go with him. He didn't understand why he actually liked when Ivan smiled; it was comforting, and the reason for that smile was him, and it felt nice to be the cause of someone's happiness.

Ivan turned back to Gilbert after he cleaned off his plate. "Just... don't pick up anymore condoms, please." Ivan said, blushing softly. Gilbert twitched a little and looked away, crossing his arms over his chest as his cheeks heated up from remembering his little 'talk' with Ivan the other day, though he was thankful that the talk wasn't  _ too _ detailed.

.

After Gilbert finished his food, the two got dressed in suitable Fall clothing and finally straightened out their hair and took care of some other things. They decided to walk into town rather than drive, and Gilbert seemed focused on the ground, as he kept his eyes trained down for most of the walk. Ivan took notice of it early on, but decided not to comment on it for the time being.

Until the albino almost face-planted a street-light, but thanks to Ivan pulling him out of the way, he was saved from slamming his face against the metal poll. 

"You should watch where you're going." Ivan said as he let go of Gilbert's coat jacket.

The albino seemed a bit confused by what just happened, and he looked up at the Russian who saved him. "Uh, thanks... I wasn't paying attention."

"I know, you were looking at the ground. Are you alright? You seem distracted" Ivan asked. 

Gilbert narrowed his eyes a little in uncertainty. "I don't understand a lot of things..." he mumbled and looked away, not wanting to really get into his personal thoughts at the moment or his lack of knowledge of the world around him.

Ivan smiled and patted Gilbert's shoulder, "It's alright Gilbert, there's a lot that I don't understand either, but today we're going to have some fun, okay?" he said and started walking again, pulling the albino along with him by the upper sleeve of the coat that he bought for him the other day.

Gilbert was about to protest to being dragged along but he saw the smile on Ivan's face and how happy he looked, and any desire to refuse disappeared instantly, so he kept quiet and continued walking. His pace was slower than Ivan's and he purposely kept it that way; he was actually beginning to like the feeling of being dragged down the street by Ivan. Though some people were giving them strange looks, but that could be for a number of reasons. For once, Gilbert simply didn't pay any mind to them.

Ivan dragged the albino to a small shop that had posters and images of weird tan cones with colored balls on top plastered across the glass windows, which made Gilbert curious until he saw a few people walking out of the shop carrying and licking things similar to those that were on the posters. 

"I guess this is that 'ice cream' stuff, right?" Gilbert asked, looking  up at Ivan for a  confirmation of sorts.

The Russian nodded. "There are tons of flavors, do you know of anything you'd like to try?" he asked. Gilbert shook his head and suddenly Ivan grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside the shop. They were the only customers inside the building at the time, and the girl at the counter was giving them both strange looks as the Russian dragged the albino over to the freezer where all the ice cream was. "Here are all the types they have, which one do you think looks good?" he asked as he looked into the freezer and then back to Gilbert, looking hopeful and happy.

Gilbert spent a moment looking over the different colored substances, and he didn't really know what to pick. There was a light green one with brown chunks in it, which just looked kind of disgusting to him, and there was also white with brown specks in it, and one with red, blue, and yellow swirled around. They all looked sort of strange to him so he just looked back up to Ivan, "Surprise me." He said, putting his ice cream fate in the Russian's hands.

Ivan blinked in confusion but then smiled a little. "Alright." He said and then looked up to the girl behind the freezer, who was giving Gilbert a strange look since he was still bent over and looking through the glass of the freezer like a child. Ivan guessed that she would think a 20 year old man would know what ice cream is, but clearly Gilbert didn't. It seems like most of the fun stuff in life had been ripped from his memory, and that idea made Ivan sad for him, so he wanted to help even if it was something trivial like getting ice cream. One small pleasure at a time, right?

"One lemon and one strawberry, please." Ivan said to the girl, who simply nodded and asked if he wanted cones or little paper bowls, and Ivan figured a bowl would be better. The girl began dishing their ice cream up. Ivan took two spoons from the nearby dispenser and handed one to Gilbert, who took it and looked up at the girl. 

The girl slid one bowl of ice cream across the counter and Ivan handed it to Gilbert; he looked at it strangely, the light pink color of it almost reminded him of his own eyes. Gilbert looked up at Ivan and decided to question him about it. "Why did you choose this one for me?" 

Ivan glanced over to Gilbert after paying for the food and taking his own bowl. "I don't know, you just seem like a strawberry type of guy." He said. Honestly he didn't really know why he chose it, it just seemed right.

"I don't know what that means, but okay." Gilbert said and then followed close behind Ivan, who was smiling and now heading out the door. 

Gilbert walked alongside Ivan and watched the Russian take a bite of his food, so he did the same, scooping up some of the pale pink substance with his spoon and sliding it into his mouth. The albino instantly stopped in his tracks with the spoon still in his mouth and his eyes wide and blinking slowly. "Are you alright?" Ivan asked when he noticed that Gilbert had stopped. 

Gilbert looked at the other and finally took the spoon out of his mouth and swallowed the ice cream that was melting on his tongue. "It's... good." He said and his lips pulled up into a tiny smile, "It's really good." His voice became lighter and his smile grew as he eagerly took another bite and waited for it to melt in his mouth again. He made a bit of a scrunchy face when his tongue got too cold and he actually stuck it out a little after swallowing the remainder of the ice cream.

Ivan couldn't help but smile at the other. It was downright adorable how Gilbert was reacting to ice cream; a bit strange for a grown man, but something about Gilbert still seemed childish and younger. He just seemed so pleased with the flavor and amused with it melting in his mouth, even if it caused him a little bit of pain. Ivan made a mental note to buy ice cream when he went to the store next, that way Gilbert could eat as much of it as he wanted. Still, he couldn't believe that Gilbert had never had it before, or that he didn't remember it. "So you've never had ice cream before?" he asked. 

Gilbert was just taking another bite and he slid his spoon out of his mouth. "I think I may have seen it, but I've never actually had it before." He said. "The uh, the person I lived with never ate stuff like this." Ivan's eyes widened a little after hearing the new bit of information and he mumbled out a quiet 'I see'. He heard a sigh from Gilbert and the albino walked closer to him. He looked a bit sad and his pinkish-blue eyes narrowed a little. "I'll tell you about who I lived with, if you want..." he said, trying to open up more as Ivan wanted him to.

"You don't have to, Gilbert." Ivan said, though he secretly did want to know as much as possible about the other. 

"... let's go home first, I don't want to talk in public." Gilbert said, not thinking twice about the fact that he just referred to Ivan's apartment as his home as well. Ivan, however, noticed it immediately and it made him blush a little. Why though? He just said 'let's go home'... then again, this was  _ Gilbert _ ; someone who didn't even want to stay with him to begin with, now he was calling his apartment home.

Ivan smiled softly after thinking for a moment, "I have a better idea of where we can go." He said with a small grin taking his lips, and suddenly took ahold of Gilbert's wrist, and began pulling him down the street, not caring that neither of them could probably finish their ice cream now.


	6. Chapter 6

That grin was spreading wider across Ivan's face, and as much as Gilbert liked that smile, it was beginning to creep him out a bit now that it was growing and looking a bit weird. "Wh—wait! Where are we going?" Gilbert stuttered out and tried to keep up with the Russian without tripping over his own feet or dropping his bowl of ice cream.

"You'll see. It's beautiful, and it's private so we can talk about whatever you want." The Russian looked over his shoulder, his smile now soft and warm. Gilbert found himself just sighing and going along with it, though he really wished that he could finish his ice cream because he thought it was really delicious and didn't want to waste it.

Ivan dragged the albino down the street, and then took a sudden turn into a park. They passed some teenagers who were sitting on a bench who were giving them weird looks while snickering. Ivan stopped for a moment and told Gilbert to eat what he wanted of his ice cream, and while the albino took a few more bites, Ivan threw his bowl in the nearby garbage can. Gilbert felt like he was keeping Ivan waiting so he stopped eating and did the same with his bowl. The two men simply continued walking down the cement path, ignoring the kids and any implications their ignorant whispers implied. After a few minutes of walking down a well-kept path, Ivan stopped and looked back at Gilbert, finally letting go of his wrist. The albino looked around for a moment to take in his surroundings. Ivan had dragged him to a rather isolated lake that was surrounded by trees; he noticed that the path ended right where Ivan stopped and that there was a boat pulled up onto the grass at the edge of the water, as well as some animals running around in the field on the other side of the lake. There were deer grazing in the grass of the field, brown rabbits hopping around, birds flying in the air and the sound of bugs making noise. 

"What is this place?" Gilbert asked when he looked back to the Russian.

"It's a lake. Not many people come out here anymore; mostly young couples or artists." Ivan said and began walking toward the lake without the albino. Gilbert felt his cheeks heat up a little for reasons he didn't understand and almost hypnotically followed the Russian to the water. 

"You dragged me to a lake? Why?" Gilbert asked, watching curiously as Ivan began messing with the boat he had seen earlier.

"You wanted to talk in private, and I wanted to show you something beautiful. This place is really nice in the evening though." He explained.

Gilbert looked behind him at the path that led them here, "You're sure no one can hear us...?" he asked.

"Not a single person, unless they come close to the lake. The trees around here will cut down all the sound." Ivan said with a smile and then stood up, "Now, shall we go out onto the water?" he asked, extending a hand to Gilbert. 

The albino gave him a weird look, and then looked down to the hand that was being held out to him. Gilbert couldn't help but think that this was beginning to look like a date. Ivan drew back his hand after a moment and sighed, and then sat in the boat without Gilbert. The Russian pushed the boat off of the shore and into the water, but made sure to keep it close to the edge. 

"Come on, I promise I won't sink it." Ivan said and gave a genuine smile.

Gilbert chuckled a little and nodded. He stood close to the edge of the water, and Ivan held out his free hand to him again so he could get in, but Gilbert ignored it and narrowed his eyes on the boat before jumping off the edge and landing on the free seat with a surprising amount of grace. The boat barely moved, and Gilbert stood there like a statue.

"Looks like your foot is completely healed." Ivan said with a smile, "You have good balance, too." Ivan said, blinking a bit up at the now grinning albino who seemed rather proud of himself for not falling and barely moving the boat.

"Yep, when my foot isn't injured anyway." Gilbert replied and then took his seat across from Ivan, ignoring the fact that their kneecaps were rubbing together a little. "I used to be an acrobat and tightrope walker in a traveling circus a couple years back." He explained as Ivan rowed the boat out into the lake.

Ivan's eyes widened a bit, "Really?" 

"Yeah, I was great too. I could balance on anything without even wobbling a little; I used to work with trapeze artists too." Gilbert said and smiled to himself, remembering his greater days of doing said work. "It was fun. Hurt sometimes, but I loved it."

"You must be pretty flexible then, huh?" Ivan asked. The Russian was leaning forward with anticipation, all of his attention now focused on the albino, the two now floating along the current of the lake. He was excited to learn more about the man because he was still surrounded in mystery, and now he was finally learning more about what Gilbert was and what he seemed to enjoy.

"I'm going to ignore how weird that sounded, but yes; I needed to be. Of course, my magic was the main reason I got in with them in the first place; they wanted someone who could use healing magic in case someone got hurt, plus I could do some other things like put up protective barriers to keep fire and ice from killing the audience." He said, "But those shows were only for the people who knew about magic. Can't be revealing too much to the mortals now can we?" 

Ivan nodded slowly but his expression became sad. "You say that as if you're not human..."

"I have wings coming out of my back. Do I  _ sound _ human to you?" Gilbert asked, though it was more of a rhetorical question. 

Ivan sunk back a little and apologized, "I thought maybe you were, since you're not an angel and I've only ever read books about creatures like you..." Ivan said and then glanced up at Gilbert with pure curiosity shining in his eyes, "So, Gilbert... what  _ are _ you?" 

Gilbert looked off into the distance, his eyes following some birds flying across the sky. "An abomination." He answered quietly and folded his arms over his chest, his eyes narrowed sadly and his eyebrows knitted together. The word 'abomination' clearly was a term that Gilbert hated, and probably because he truly believes he is an abomination. 

"A monster, a demon... any of these work, it doesn't matter—" Gilbert stopped when he suddenly felt a hand touch against his own. He brought his gaze up to Ivan's with widened eyes, who was now wearing such a sad and pitiful expression. Gilbert realized that his words upset Ivan, though he didn't fully understand why. "I'm sorry, I just..." he paused to sigh, "I don't think much of myself..."

Ivan gently squeezed Gilbert's hand, "You don't need to be sorry, Gilbert. You're strong, interesting, unique, and you have a personality that's very attractive. You should be more proud of yourself." Ivan said, smiling as well as he could.

Gilbert blushed softly at the compliments, but he didn't truly take them to heart. He simply sighed. "Yeah, maybe one day." He said and turned his head, shifting his body so that Ivan's hand was pulled from his own, making the Russian feel a bit rejected and helpless.

Along the shoreline, there were some birds walking around, they caught Gilbert's attention with their white feathers, and they reminded him of his own. He suddenly began remembering the day he developed his wings, and his nightmare from last night popped into his head. The blood was enough to make him sick, but reliving the sight of two bare and bloodstained bones coming from his body was the most gruesome and terrible thing he had to experience. What made it worse was that over the span of a week, those two bones filled out with white feathers, and suddenly his ugly features became something that he briefly thought were beautiful and special. He felt so naïve now for thinking that way.

"Gilbert?" Ivan called out to the albino, shaking him by the shoulder gently, "Are you alright? You seem like you're in a trance." The Russian said.

"Yeah, I'm fine..." Gilbert mumbled quietly, not blinking for more than a few seconds.

Ivan followed Gilbert's line of sight to see what he was looking so intensely at. It was a group of birds, about 3 of them just hopping around together. "White doves." The Russian said and smiled, "We used them a lot at the theater, and they're actually my favorite type of bird." He said.

Gilbert glanced over to the other, "Really...? I figured you'd be more of an eagle or falcon guy."

Ivan laughed softly, "No, doves are beautiful, especially the white ones. They represent peace, love, and innocence; qualities that I enjoy very much." Ivan said and then glanced to Gilbert with a smile, his violet eyes staring straight into the albino's.

Gilbert literally stiffened when their eyes met, and his face became a little warm. Something about the way that Ivan was looking at him changed something in his mind, and suddenly he had this overwhelming urge to do something. He couldn't believe what he was thinking, but he opened his mouth a few centimeters and his voice shook a little as he spoke. "I... I want to go back." He said.

Ivan blinked in confusion, "Back? Back where?" 

"Home. Back Home." Gilbert said with urgency rising in his voice. 

Ivan continued his stare for a moment until he saw something change in Gilbert's face. It was like fear but also with a strange sense of desperation. The Russian didn't say any more and began rowing the small boat back toward the shore. 

The boat hadn't even hit the bank yet and Gilbert had shuffled to the edge and jumped out, landing on the grass, turning, and extending his hand to Ivan quickly. It shocked Ivan and he was getting even more concerned, but he wasted no time in taking the albino's hand; he knew that there was something wrong with Gilbert judging by the look on his face and the way he was acting, but he just didn't know what. 

.

Gilbert literally pulled Ivan along with him this time. Ivan felt the albino's hand squeeze and tighten around his, and he couldn't help but blush and stare down at the pale hand in his; Gilbert's hand was warm, and the heat felt extremely nice compared to the cold of his own hand. After a minute or so, their hands began to slide against one another from sweating, and the fact that Gilbert was roughly pulling the other made it worse; and while it didn't seem to bother Gilbert, who was still quiet and walking even faster now, Ivan felt a bit strange and felt his face heating up even more. Just something about holding hands with his 'crush' and feeling their skin rubbing against one another triggered some weird feeling in his stomach that felt like something was crawling around in his belly. This must be those 'butterflies' that everyone talks about. 

Ivan squeezed at Gilbert's hand even though he was being dragged down the path. "G-Gilbert—" he stuttered a little. "Do you even know where you're going?" he asked, wondering if Gilbert even remembered where the apartment was. 

Gilbert suddenly stopped, and it caused Ivan to run into his back. The Russian apologized but Gilbert paid it no mind, nor did he remove his hand from the others. "No... not really." Gilbert admitted a bit shyly, now realizing how hazed his mind had been in the last few minutes, and now he felt like he was lost.

Ivan gently squeezed Gilbert's hand again and started walking down the street and leading Gilbert back to the apartment. "Gilbert what happened to you back there? You kind of blanked out." The Russian said, keeping his hand firm on the albino's.

"I'm sorry... I'm just— I'm ready." He mumbled to himself, also keeping his hand tight with Ivan's. 

Ivan glanced over his shoulder back at Gilbert and noticed that he was looking at the ground. ' _ What does that mean? _ ' he asked himself. 

The entire way back to the apartment people were giving them strange looks, because obviously two men walking hand in hand was a strange sight and everyone felt the need to stare rudely like they had nothing better to do with their lives.

Ivan led Gilbert to the apartment building and opened the door, letting Gilbert walk in before him. He took the lead again and walked up the stairs. He went up two stories and unlocked his apartment door. Meanwhile, Gilbert was just following behind him, nervously holding onto the others hand and biting the inside of his lip until it bled. Once Ivan had opened the door, Gilbert bolted inside, basically pulling the Russian along with him.

The albino finally let go of Ivan's hand. "Lock the door." He instructed, to which Ivan gave him a strange look. "Lock the door!" Gilbert yelled, but it didn't sound angry, just desperate, and he was beginning to look scared.

Ivan was a bit shocked by how Gilbert yelled, but he did as he was told and locked the door. He was getting even more worried but he was confused on why Gilbert was suddenly acting so strange. He wondered if he upset the albino with something he said at the lake, but if he was upset, wouldn't he have just run away from him or something? The intense handholding told Ivan otherwise.

The Russian locked the bolt in the door and slid the door chain into place and then turned on the light in the apartment. He began to turn around, "There, now what's—" before he could continue, the wind was basically knocked out of him as Gilbert slammed into him, throwing his arms up around the other and standing on his tiptoes to bury his face into the Russian's neck. The impact caused Ivan to stumble backward and he hit his back against the door, and he cautiously placed his arms on the albino's back in reaction.

"Gilbert?" Ivan said as he wrapped his arms around the smaller man. 

"I'm sorry." the albino apologized and tightened his arms around the other's neck. "I'm sorry for kicking you, and just generally being an ass to you." He continued on, and Ivan could have sworn that he felt something wet touching against his skin.

"Gilbert, hold on." Ivan said and tried to push the other back from him, he succeeded a little, but Gilbert obviously didn't want much space between them, and the two were now face to face with their foreheads nearly touching. Ivan's face turned a light red from the closeness, but he tried his best to ignore that for now. "What's gotten into you? You seemed fine earlier but then you just snapped and started acting strange..."

The albino blinked at the other a few times before he slid his arms off of Ivan so that they hung limply at his sides. He realized that he wasn't making any sense and that Ivan was utterly confused, and he regretted making him feel so worried. Gilbert then turned away and walked a few feet from the other and began to unbutton his jacket. Ivan questioned what he was doing but he received no answer from the pale man. Gilbert slipped his arms out of his coat and simply threw it aside with little care, and Ivan took a step toward him but stopped when Gilbert started unbuttoning his shirt as well. Ivan felt his heart flutter in his chest but he was utterly confused by what the other was doing. Gilbert continued on, his face plagued in sadness, until he reached the last button. He let his white shirt slip off of his shoulders and it slid down his arms until it fell to the floor around his feet.

"... Gilbert...?" Ivan mumbled as he stared at the half-naked man in front of him.

"Come here." Gilbert instructed, and Ivan hesitated for a moment before walking to stand in front of the other. Gilbert took a breath and tried smiling at the Russian. "I need you to heal me again, okay?"

"Wait, what?" Before Ivan could get an answer, his eyes widened when Gilbert's eyes squeezed shut and he bit his lip. Ivan suddenly had a realization of what the other was doing so he quickly gripped onto the smaller man. Gilbert held onto the Russian's shoulders and shoved his face into his chest again. Ivan looked down at Gilbert's bare back, and suddenly his face twisted in horror when he saw that his skin was being pushed up from the inside. He had never seen Gilbert extend his wings before; it was a strange and almost stomach-turning sight. He turned his head and placed his hands under Gilbert's shoulder blades and began casting the strongest healing spell he knew. "Gilbert stop! What do you think you're doing ‽ " Ivan asked in a frantic tone in hopes of getting the other to stop.

"Shut up—!" Gilbert yelled out in a shriek as his wings broke from his back. Gilbert gripped onto Ivan tightly, his nails digging into his coat. The cry caused Ivan to curse in Russian and he supported Gilbert as best as he could. Gilbert's hands were shaking, in fact, his entire body was shaking as he felt his back sting from the pain, and blood began trickling down his back. His hands gripped tightly at Ivan's coat before loosening weakly. Exhausted huffing came from Gilbert's lips as he tried to steady his heartbeat and not become faint. 

Gilbert chuckled in pain as if trying to say that he was alright when he clearly wasn't, "S-Sorry, I'll clean this up later." He said, referring to his blood dripping onto Ivan's white carpet, and then let his head fall into the other's chest. Gilbert was still breathing heavily and he had beads of sweat dripping down his skin. The healing spell that Ivan was still casting was making this so much easier, and he actually leaned into the warmth covering his upper back

"Be quiet." Ivan growled as sweat began to show on his forehead and he used more of his magic to stop the bleeding; he tried his best, and managed to mostly close the wounds around the large appendages sprouting from the albino's back. After a moment, Gilbert caught his breath and relaxed, his wings twitching a little and retracting in toward his body. Ivan held onto the other and kept his spell going weakly, just in case.

"Gilbert, what the hell are you doing? Someone could have heard you scream just now." Ivan said and then suddenly hugged around the other, though minding the wings that were there in front of his face. He noticed the wings had some blood staining them, though not too much, which he thought was strange. Did his blood just not stick to the wings, or...?

"I'm human..." Gilbert mumbled as he nuzzled his head into Ivan's shoulder. "Well, I used to be..."

"What...?" Ivan pulled back to look at Gilbert's face, and the albino was wearing that same hurt expression with his eyes narrowed and his eyebrows pulled together.

"You wanted to know this, didn't you? Isn't that why you've been so nice lately, so you can find out what mysterious creature I am?" Gilbert asked, looking sad by his own words.

"No, no Gilbert. I did at first, but I do like you; I said that earlier, didn't I? I'm curious, yeah, but in the end it doesn't really matter to me if you're human or whatever." Ivan said and nuzzled his face into Gilbert's hair gently. "I just want you to be you."

Gilbert breathed in, taking in the Russian's scent as well, and sighed heavily. "I uh... I was part of an experiment." He said and let his head rest fully onto Ivan's shoulder. 

"An experiment?" Ivan question, secretly encouraging Gilbert to continue.

"Yeah... you wondered why I hated the idea of being an angel so much, right? I was part of some psycho's plan to create one; or what would appear to be one anyway." Gilbert said. "He kidnapped a few kids, locked them up, did his experiments, and then when those failed he simply got rid of them. Eventually he found me and thought I was perfect to be his makeshift angel." 

Ivan narrowed his eyes as they followed the curve of one of Gilbert's wings. "How did you get these wings then...?" 

"It's impossible to create an angel through experiment like that. The experiments mutated my body, weird things happened, I lost my magic, my memories faded, and I forgot my own name. I have the wings of a dove; symbols of innocence and peace... it's what he was using to try to create an angel, and it failed." Ivan's eyes widened when he heard this, and he began piecing the puzzle together a little. "I hated my wings because they make me an abomination, a freak." He mumbled, "But then you said you liked doves, and you said you liked the qualities they represent, which were things you said about me the other day..." Gilbert droned on, his voice becoming quieter, and his face started to look sickened, not from the paleness of his skin, but the hazed and blank look that was in his eyes, even his lips were trembling slightly.

"Oh... you remember that..." Ivan said, his cheeks warming up a little. He couldn't help but tighten his arms around the other a little. "Gilbert you don't have to say any more, but why didn't you just tell me this instead of bringing out your wings? It has to hurt..." the Russian said and began to slowly rub his hands up and down Gilbert's back, as he did, he could feel all the little marks and scars on the albino's skin, and that feeling made Ivan feel even worse. 

"I wanted you to see them again..." Gilbert said, "and I wanted to see if you would be scared now that you're not in shock from almost dying, but you aren't..." the albino hugged tightly onto the other. "Thank you." He was on the verge of crying.

Ivan nodded slowly, deciding it best not to comment further on Gilbert's words, and nuzzled his head down into Gilbert's neck, "Are you alright? Do they hurt?" he asked.

Gilbert shifted slightly in the Russian's arms, "Not much."

"Good... you should put them away though, that way you can sit comfortably and not— ... Gilbert?" Ivan's eyes widened a little when he noticed Gilbert's wings closing around them both. 

"Hm?" 

"What are you doing?" He asked as he felt some of the feathers brush against his cheek and he gasped softly, flinching backward a little.

"Don't worry, they won't hurt you." Gilbert said with a small chuckle as he let his feathers glide gently across Ivan's skin. He didn't want to put his wings away; he wanted Ivan to see them, and to see Gilbert for what he really is, and still like him for it. 

"They're soft..." Ivan mumbled quietly, closing his eyes and nuzzling his face softly into the fluffy feathers.

Gilbert hugged Ivan tighter. "You can touch them if you want..." he said hesitantly. He didn't know what possessed him to suddenly give Ivan permission to touch his wings, especially since just a few days ago he never wanted anyone to even see them. 

Ivan pulled back and looked down at Gilbert, "Are you sure...?" he asked, and Gilbert nodded. Ivan hesitated before he let one of his hands touch the backside of the wing that had been rubbing against his face. He touched along the top along the bone and he let his fingers glide gently along the bone to the 'elbow' of the wing where it bent. Gilbert sighed contently and surprisingly leaned heavily into the other as his wing moved a little with Ivan's hand. It confused Ivan, and deep down he wanted to stop this and ask Gilbert what was wrong with him; this wasn't normal behavior for Gilbert at all. What happened to the Gilbert that kicked him in the stomach a few days ago? Gilbert shouldn't be letting him do this but Ivan couldn't help but continue, Gilbert's wings were beautiful, even if they had a little bit of blood on them, and he just couldn't keep himself from letting his fingers graze downward over the white feathers. He felt something rough on the surface of the feathers so he took a look down and noticed that it was the blood on the wings. He gently rubbed the feathers between his fingers and the blood rubbed off onto his skin.

"Your wings have blood on them..." he said quietly as he continued to stare at the blood on his hand.

Gilbert chuckled softly, "Don't worry about it. Thanks to you, my back doesn't hurt much at all, and you stopped the bleeding so I'll heal up soon." 

Ivan hesitated for a moment before he continued petting Gilbert's wing, and Gilbert brought his other one around and gently wrapped it around the Russian so he was basically hugging him with the appendage. When Ivan looked up as if he maybe did something wrong, Gilbert was standing there with a tiny smile pulling at the corner of his mouth, his eyes closed gently and looking very content. Ivan mentally swore at himself for keeping this going but his hand went back to gently sliding along the bone of Gilbert's wing. He noticed that Gilbert had his eyes closed still but was now leaning his forehead into his chest. 

' _ Does it feel good? _ ' Ivan asked to himself, blushing lightly as he slid his hand to the base of the wing he was admiring. He let his eyes trail down and focus on where his hand was, and he briefly wondered if Gilbert's wings were like a cat's tail, so after his curiosity got the better of him, he carefully rubbed one finger at the base of the wing. Gilbert's body shifted a little and his fingers gripped at Ivan's jacket loosely, and the reaction made Ivan more curious and, with his face continuing to redden, he gently rubbed his index finger in circles at the base of the wing where it connected to the skin, applying just a tad bit more pressure than before. It was strange; the skin and wings seemed to be meshed together like it was the most natural thing in the world, like they  _ didn't _ just rip his flesh open. Ivan guessed that this is what Gilbert meant by him healing soon. A quiet groan came from Gilbert's throat, and Ivan almost pretended like he didn't hear it, but he showed at least  _ some _ self-control and removed his hand and let it hover above the albino's skin.

"I'm sorry, did that hurt?" Ivan asked, swearing once again at himself, this time for being stupid and not considering that Gilbert's back could possibly be sore right now. 

Gilbert shook his head slowly, "No, you're fine. It just felt weird, I guess." he mumbled, not really sure what he was feeling either.

A relieved Ivan sighed softly, but he moved his hand back and began rubbing at the albino's skin again. ' _ What am I doing...? _ ' he asked himself as he continued, feeling Gilbert begin to shift again and eventually more soft groans came from his throat. ' _ Is this... turning him on...? _ ' Ivan's face lit up a bright pink when he thought about that possibility. He wondered if Gilbert even knew what it meant to be aroused. The man didn't know the function of a condom, but surely he knew  _ that _ . 

' _ Why are you letting me do this...? _ ' Ivan blushed darkly and closed his eyes and suddenly hugged tight around the smaller man.

"H-Hey," Gilbert stuttered out a little when his lungs felt like they were being crushed, "Are you okay?" 

Ivan nodded as he buried his face far into the other's neck. His face was burning, and he didn't understand why. It was his own stupid thoughts that were getting him so flustered. He knows that he likes Gilbert, and that he thinks he's attractive, but seriously, not even a week and he's already having thoughts of doing things with the albino. It's wrong, and Ivan didn't know why he was thinking this way. Maybe because for the first time, he actually had someone who didn't think he was scary or just wanted him for their own fun.

"You're weirding me out a little." Gilbert wasn't sure what the Russian was doing, but he simply shrugged it off and let the other do whatever.

Ivan soon pulled back from the albino, and he was frighteningly shocked to see that Gilbert's face was as pale as snow while his own was probably burning 10 different shades of red. Maybe he was just imagining how Gilbert was acting a moment ago, but now he felt even more uncomfortable being the only one blushing.

"Hey... are you okay?" Gilbert asked, blinking in confusion at the other. "Your face is red; are you sick or something?" he asked.

Ivan suddenly let go of the winged man and took a step back so he was finally breathing in air that didn't have Gilbert's scent on it. "Yeah— I mean no, I'm fine, just a little dizzy." He said and then walked past the albino. He turned back to look at Gilbert, who had turned to face him as well, his wings slowly folding up nice and vertically behind his back, and his face was wondering and so full of innocence. Ivan started swearing to himself again for thinking that Gilbert looked so damn adorable like this.

"Why don't you find something in the refrigerator to eat? You can take whatever you want to drink too. I'll... I'll be right back." He said and scurried off down the hall without another word and took a sharp turn into the bathroom.

Gilbert stood there in bewilderment. He had never seen someone hurry away like that before, and what was with that face he was wearing? His cheeks were so red and he couldn't look Gilbert in the eye. Suddenly, a tiny grin appeared on Gilbert's face, as he thought he understood why the Russian suddenly took off like that. Honestly, he didn't know that Ivan could be so  _ cute _ .

After a moment, Gilbert decided to take Ivan's suggestion and went to the refrigerator. He felt a tad bit uncomfortable rummaging around in someone else's refrigerator even though he was given permission to; it wasn't his own so it felt a bit intrusive. Still he continued, starting with the top shelf and pushing containers and bottles out of the way to see what options he had to choose from. Meanwhile, he noticed that Ivan had some wine, which he found strange; Ivan didn't seem like a wine drinker at all, but there were two bottles which looked fairly expensive toward the back. His eyes went down to the middle shelf and he knelt down to look better; he made sure that his wings were tightly folded up against his back so they wouldn't knock anything over. For a moment as he was looking, he thought about how odd it felt to have his wings extended and to not be in pain, fear, flying, or trying to escape. The thought brought a tiny smile to his lips because it felt normal to be like this, but he was quickly distracted from that thought when his eyes laid sight on a small container on the middle shelf. He thought he recognized the contents and he confirmed it as the green fruit that Ivan had given him days ago. Now sitting cross-legged on the floor practically with stars in his eyes, he popped the red lid off the clear container and let the strong scent rise up into his nostrils. Honestly, this stuff smelled fantastic. After shoving a slice into his mouth eagerly, he hopped up onto his feet and was about to shut the refrigerator door when a group of small silver cans on the bottom shelf caught his attention. The only word he read on it was 'vodka' written in fancy script font before he reached in and grabbed one. He knew what it was, of course; the person he lived with briefly would drink vodka often, and Gilbert remembered developing a certain taste for it back in his circus days.

He took his strange meal of fruit and vodka to the couch and sat down, his wings flattened out against the back cushion as he leaned back; they were slightly curving around his body as if creating his own personal bubble. He shoved a few more pieces of fruit into his mouth before opening his can of vodka. 

.

Ivan shut the bathroom door behind him and locked it as quickly as he could. He was incredibly flustered, and couldn't believe how red his face was when he looked at his reflection in the mirror. It confused him, he wasn't technically a stranger to touching or being physical with someone, but just something about Gilbert just now got his blood pumping like it never had been before. Just those little sounds coming from his throat, sounding so content and almost like he was getting some sort of pleasure from it. Ivan figured he was just massaging sensitive skin, well, he  _ hoped _ that's all it was. No, instead of that, how about he was just imagining the entire thing; Gilbert wasn't  _ actually  _ groaning and moving against him, no, not at all. He wasn't sure how Gilbert would react if he suddenly started making advances toward him anyway, and that frightened him because he wanted to touch the albino more.

He turned the water on and let it run for a few seconds and then splashed some icy water onto his face. It stung a little, but he did it a few more times before he ripped a hand towel off of a rack and shoved his face into it, drying his skin. He took a moment to look back at himself in the mirror, and noticed that his face was still a light tint of pink. He swore out loud and let his head hang down as he stared down the drain of the sink. 

He glared irritatingly at his reflection before running a hand through his hair, and then exited the bathroom.

.

Gilbert turned his head to the side when he heard the bathroom door, and sure enough, a few seconds later Ivan came walking down the hall and back into the living room. 

"You alright?" Gilbert asked as he chewed a piece of fruit.

Ivan was rubbing his forehead and ruffling his hair a little, and when he looked at Gilbert, he was a bit taken aback, though he should have expected the sight. The man still had his wings out and was still shirtless, but he looked content and even kind of cute with his wings drooping around his body a little. "Yeah I'm fine, I just—" he answered but then paused when he noticed what was in the albino's hand, "... are you drinking vodka?" he asked, seeming shocked and slightly terrified.

"Yep." Gilbert said and took a drink of the mentioned drink.

"You...  _ do _ know that's alcohol, right?" Ivan asked, moving to sit in the armchair across from the albino.

Gilbert gave the other a flat gaze full of annoyance. "Jeeze, I don't know what condoms are and suddenly I don't know  _ anything _ about the world." He teased, grinning a bit as the Russian's eyes widened in shock before his cheeks gained that cute rosy color again. "Of course I know what this is. I'm not  _ completely _ ignorant of the human world. I used to drink it a lot a while back, though never out of cans." He said. 

Ivan sighed a little, watching Gilbert take another drink. "May I join you then? It's been a while since I've had the pleasure of drinking with someone." He said with a smile, ignoring his previous issue and the fact that his face was still a little warm.

Gilbert looked up at the Russian and simply nodded, and Ivan stood up and retrieved two more cans from the refrigerator and instead of returning to his armchair, he sat on the couch with Gilbert with about a foot or so between them. Gilbert shifted a little, and at first Ivan thought it was because of how close he was sitting, but then he realized that Gilbert was just moving his wing so it didn't hit Ivan. 

"Y'know, everyone at the circus drank vodka; on our days off, we used to have bets to see who could drink the most." He then let out a sad chuckle, "Funny how I remember that over important things like cars and how humans interact." He mumbled.

Ivan cracked the top of his can and took a drink. "I don't mean to pry or anything but, how exactly did you go from being a circus performer to, uh..."

"Being a lab rat?" Gilbert said with a tired expression on his face, and Ivan's eyebrows knitted together in concern; he didn't think Gilbert was a lab rat, and frankly the term made Ivan's blood boil a little. Gilbert then sighed softly. "Sometimes when you look for better work, it doesn't turn out the way you plan." He said, "The guy who did all of this ran his own 'circus' and offered me more money and better treatment if I joined him, so naturally I did. Big mistake that was. Not even 10 seconds into that tent and I was knocked out cold. Next thing I knew I was stripped naked and chained to a wall." Gilbert's wing twitched slightly and Ivan noticed it. 

"Well, how about how you got away? What happened?" The Russian asked as he wanted to get off the subject of the experiments and apparent torture. He had already drank his can of vodka as he listened to Gilbert talk, and he cracked open the other one.

"A fire." Gilbert said, "It happened about two years after I was taken." Ivan's eyes widened at that; he couldn't believe that Gilbert was a prisoner for so long. "Some new minion was practicing fireballs when he got too close to a bunch of flammable chemicals. half the damn lab went up in flames. They had to take us 'freaks' out of our cages and put in chains, but I saw that as my chance to run, so I knocked out the guy holding me and then flew away. Simple as that" Gilbert explained and then downed the rest of his vodka. "Aah... it was my first time flying, and  _ god _ did my back hurt after that." 

"What happened then?" Ivan asked as he began drinking again, he was even starting to feel a bit hazed now. 

Gilbert laughed softly and shoved a piece of fruit into his mouth. "I fell into a forest. I flew for a few hours through heavy wind and basically crash-landed through a bunch of trees." 

Ivan actually chuckled a little at the image. "I guess trees just aren't your friend, huh?" he joked.

"I guess not." The albino smiled a little. "Well after that I passed out; my wings weren't totally healed so they were bleeding a lot and I had a lot of cuts from the branches. Plus I hadn't eaten or slept well in weeks, so I was a bit weak." He said. "I apparently woke up a few days later in a bed, wrapped in bandages to a woman pleading 'wake up' over and over. She was holding my hand, and she about jumped out of her skin when I sat up." 

"Was this the person you stayed with?" Ivan asked.

"Yeah, she was." Gilbert replied, "I stayed with her for about a year. She taught me the basics of everything, but she never went out anywhere or did anything other than wake up, cook, clean and then sleep again. Though she did drink a lot." Gilbert paused and sighed, "She never knew what I was, apparently while I was passed out in the forest, my wings retracted on their own, and then... I uh, I got too attached to her, and I figured I could trust her, so I decided to come clean and show her my wings."

"Yeah? What happened?" Ivan said, insanely curious and loving the fact that Gilbert was spilling everything to him.

"She flipped out." Gilbert said, and the words seemed to slap Ivan in the face. 

"What...?"

Gilbert blew out a stream of air from his mouth and closed his eyes. "She panicked when she saw my wings. She wasn't a magic user, didn't even know about its existence, and when she saw me she started screaming and throwing stuff at me, calling me things like 'abomination' and 'monster', even got called a demon." Gilbert said and forced out a chuckle to try to keep himself from breaking down again. "Fun night that was." He choked out.

Suddenly there was some rustling beside him and when Gilbert went to look, Ivan was there and snaked one arm around Gilbert's waist and pulled him a little closer. "You deserve so much better than that." He mumbled. His eyes and cheeks showing that he was clearly a bit drunk. Gilbert's eyes saddened and began tearing up a little. Such simple words spoken by the other got him all worked up and he hated when Ivan showed so much worry for him. The hand on his bare side was warm, and it was just the sort of thing that Gilbert needed, and even wanted right now.

"You're none of those things either, Gilbert..." Ivan leaned down and gave a little kiss to Gilbert's hair, a gesture that he had been doing lately and something that Gilbert didn't seem to object to. Gilbert even leaned toward Ivan a little and moved his wing up so it wouldn't hit the Russian. Ivan appreciated this, and carefully moved his face down, just inches away from the others face. The Russian's cheeks were turning redder, and Gilbert was about to pull back and say something but found himself unwilling to when Ivan's lips gently pressed against his skin just under his cheekbone. The bird-boy's wings twitched a little at the contact, but then drooped down a bit as his eyes narrowed a little. His face turned a light pink like the Russian's was. Ivan brought his hand up to the albino's other cheek and gently brushed his knuckles across the smooth skin as he gave a few more soft kisses to Gilbert's cheek before pulling back. He gave a hazed glance to the albino before shifting his body a bit and leaning his head in to kiss down Gilbert's jaw. His hands gripping at Gilbert's biceps as if to keep him in place, and the albino's hands latched onto Ivan's shirt and he pushed against him a little, but he couldn't deny that he actually liked the feeling of Ivan's lips on his skin, and eventually he just leaned back slowly, and gave the Russian the advantage. 

' _ What am I doing? _ ' they both asked themselves as they blushed brighter with anticipation. Ivan's lips grazed down Gilbert's jaw, and Gilbert's one wing began to go limp and gently rest against Ivan's back. Ivan internally smiled at the feeling of the wing on his back and he shifted once again, this time moving down lower to kiss onto Gilbert's neck. Gilbert squirmed slightly and squeezed his eyes shut when Ivan moved, but to both of their surprise, he didn't push away. As Ivan proceeded to give long and slow kisses to Gilbert's neck, the albino was busy mentally screaming at himself to make this all stop. After caring even the slightest about that woman before, he didn't want to get even remotely involved with someone; he couldn't handle being rejected again. But  _ god _ , the feeling of Ivan passionately caressing his skin and gently pulling his flesh up with his lips was so warm, comforting, and distracting. It filled him with a feeling that he never felt before, like some fuzzy ball of warmth rolling around in his belly and that heat was slowly rising to every part of his body; he loved it, he genuinely loved it. Besides, Ivan was enjoying himself  _ far _ too much for his thoughts to even consider focusing on anything other than the creamy white skin that he was gently rubbing between his lips. The area he was kissing was getting moist and Ivan began to admire just how smooth Gilbert's skin is. The man was still shirtless, and he glanced over his body. His eyes went sad because he realized that, unlike Gilbert's neck, his chest and belly had marks flawing his skin: what looked to be two lash marks crossed over his chest in a disproportionate 'X', and down toward the hem of his pants were more marks that seemed to disappear under the fabric. Ivan wondered how far the marks reached down and just what caused all of them; he guessed that since Gilbert was held against his will, his captors probably abused and tortured him.

The Russian turned his attention back to Gilbert's neck and gave it a few more kisses when he felt something pushing down on his back. It was Gilbert's wings; both of them were folding in around the both of them. It was Gilbert giving into Ivan and this new feeling, because with all that his body had been through at the hands of humans, this type of treatment had him on Cloud Nine and he was unconsciously craving more of it, and he was submitting to the Russian without even meaning to. Ivan shifted again, this time leaning his body heavily onto the other and literally pinning him to the back of the couch, Gilbert didn't mind as he just thought that the Russian was moving to get more comfortable. Ivan began kissing his neck again and decided to give a slow lick up his neck, and suddenly Gilbert felt a twinge of fear tighten in his stomach, and his heart began to thud slow and hard rather than rapid like it had been.

"H-Hey, what are you..." Gilbert mumbled but his voice betrayed him and it came out as a whimper. He began pushing on Ivan's shoulders in protest but the larger man was like a boulder and seemed to push down on Gilbert even more. When Ivan refused to move, fear began rising in Gilbert faster and he squirmed to try to get his leg up but his concentration was broken when he felt Ivan's tongue again, but this time it was followed by his teeth grazing over his pale skin and gently biting down. Gilbert twitched away and began pushing against Ivan harder and retracting his legs up onto the couch. "St-Stop..." He finally got one leg between himself and Ivan, but the Russian didn't care in his drunken state, he wanted to touch the other more, and that leg between them was annoying him, so he shifted his body and slid himself between Gilbert's legs.

Gilbert blushed but his face twisted with terror and he balled his fists and started beating against the Russian's back, arms, and anywhere he could reach. His wings began to flap against the other as well in an attempt to distract him. Ivan growled lowly and the sound terrified Gilbert, but the Russian simply moved himself up more, bringing his body closer so that his front was pressing uncomfortably against Gilbert's crotch. This advance made Gilbert let out a shriek that echoed throughout the room.

" _ Ivan, stop! _ " 

The yell made Ivan freeze just long enough for Gilbert to push against him successfully. He slammed his fist into the Russian's cheek and his wings flared up and swung back against the other, causing Ivan to fall backward a bit. Gilbert retracted all of his limbs and scooted himself far into the corner of the couch and wrapped his arms around his legs, keeping every part of his body far from the other. His wings came down around his body, his feathers still flared defensively and wrapping around him like a protective barrier. 

Ivan rolled over and rubbed his cheek, and then sat up. He glanced over at Gilbert and his eyes widened. His mind wasn't as hazed now, and he fully realized what he had done. Gilbert looked terrified, his face was burnt red and his eyes were tearing up, even his breathing was heavy and rapid. And it was all because of  _ him _ . 

"Gilbert, I'm sorry." He tried to apologize, but Gilbert snapped, his wings stiffening and moving out a little as if to intimidate.

" _ Sorry _ _ ‽ _ Sorry isn't going to cut it, you jackass!" Gilbert yelled. He was angry, but his eyes began dripping tears that rolled quickly down his cheeks. He was scared, but he was angry at himself for letting Ivan so close to him and letting him take advantage of him. He knew he should have stopped it in the beginning, but he liked the feeling of Ivan kissing his skin, but he didn't like how Ivan obviously wanted more so soon. He wasn't stupid though, this was just as much Ivan's fault as it was his, probably even more for not stopping when Gilbert told him to.

Ivan stood up and Gilbert's wings instinctively closed around him in defense, hiding every part of his body aside from his head and upper shoulders. He walked and stopped next to Gilbert and looked down at him sadly, his eyes full or hurt, sorrow, and apology. "I'm really sorry, Gilbert. I never— I just... I... never mind." He mumbled and just gave up. He walked down the hall without another word, and a few seconds later, Gilbert heard the door to Ivan's room shut.

' _ Dammit... _ ' Gilbert swore to himself and buried his face in his knees. ' _ Why did I get myself into this... _ ' his eyes were still dripping tears but he was crying more out of loneliness and hatred for how things turned out. He didn't fully realize it until this moment but he had been putting too much of himself onto Ivan, leaning on him for emotional support, and he didn't realize that he began to unconsciously trust him and crave his attention. He remembered how Ivan would ruffle his hair and smile at him, and even kiss his head when he was upset. How he was there when he lost his balance when he tried to walk. His lack of protesting any of those things meant that deep down he trusted him more than he thought, and Ivan never tried to force him to talk or push him too hard, at least until now. Gilbert allowed it to happen by submitting to Ivan and showing his vulnerable side, but he just wasn't ready to let Ivan make those advances; he wasn't stupid and he knows where things can lead, and he just wished that the Russian would have given him a bit more time to get used to him, but now, Gilbert doesn't even know if he can trust Ivan in the slightest. 

This would all be much easier if he could just blame the alcohol and actually believe it and pretend it never happened. 

.

Ivan didn't bother with anything; he simply went to his bed. He didn't change his clothes and he didn't even pull his blanket over him. He simply dropped his body down on his bed, laying on his stomach, and shoved his sore cheek into his pillow. He swore multiple times at himself, pulling at his hair a little, and shifting his body uncomfortably and just feeling like a complete idiot who needed to be punched a few more times. However, through all his anger and hate for himself, he began huffing quietly and his throat tightened a little, and his eyes to tear up. He couldn't stop it at this point, and his eyes began just flowing with tears that rolled down the side of his eyes and soaked into his pillow, and he kept his mouth closed so his sobs wouldn't be too loud, but he was hurt, there was a physical ache in his chest. 

' _ The first time he says my name, and it's out of complete terror... _ ' he wheezed a bit and shoved his face deep into his pillow and closed his eyes tight, squeezing out some more tears. This fact made his chest hurt more; any other way of saying his name, just not out of fear, would have been better.

He thought that maybe if he apologized enough to Gilbert tomorrow he would maybe give him another chance, but he expected Gilbert to be terrified of him. Ivan usually would never make advances like that unless the other person consented, and Gilbert did for the most part, but he should have stopped when the albino told him to instead of just ignoring it. He blamed his drunken state but even he knew that it wasn't right to completely blame the alcohol, but it was definitely a factor. The Russian is usually gentle, but when he gets even the slightest bit drunk, he tends to be more persistent and pushy. If he knew that he was going to be that way toward Gilbert, he would  _ never _ have drank with him, but it did feel nice in the beginning; drinking with someone again and having Gilbert share his stories, but he wished that it would have stopped there. 

.

An hour or so went by and the moon was high in the night sky. Ivan was sound asleep after beating himself up for what he had done, and Gilbert sat on the couch with his wings still around him like a shield, but he also occasionally touched his fingers against where Ivan was kissing him earlier, and while the memory brought a twinge of fear to him, it also brought a tiny blush and that weird feeling in his belly again. 

' _ This has to stop... _ ' Gilbert thought to himself, and then stood up from the couch. 

.

The albino found himself standing at Ivan's bedside, and he quietly turned on the lamp next to his bed so that he could see the Russian's face. Gilbert noticed the dried tears on his skin and it made his heart sink, but he thought back to earlier and shrugged that feeling off. After staring for a moment and trying to straighten out his thoughts, Gilbert let his fingers glide gently through Ivan's ashy-blond hair but he flinched back in fear when the Russian stirred a little in his sleep. Gilbert was still scared, and he couldn't help that. 

He took a step back and put his finger on the switch on the lamp. "I'm sorry..." He whispered quietly, and then turned off the lamp, letting the room fill back with darkness.


	7. Chapter 7

Due to being emotionally exhausted from crying and just everything that happened the previous night, Ivan managed to stay asleep for longer than he usually slept, getting a rest of about 10 full hours, though it wasn't really a 'rest'. His eyes eventually but reluctantly blinked open stiffly from a heavy sleep and his first conscious thought was something along the lines of wanting to go back to sleep for another 10 hours. His level of self-loathing and disgust for his entire being was off the charts and a tad bit ridiculous, he didn't even want to move or eat, or do anything because he felt almost unworthy and he just wanted to remain in his bedroom and sulk.

He shifted his body slightly and shoved his face into his pillow as a protest to the thought of getting up. His cheek was still sore from where Gilbert punched him last night, but he felt that the punch was just the beginning of what he deserved. Suddenly a chill racked his body and he reached to pull his blanket up, but it wasn't there. He patted his hand around the bed behind him to search for his covers and he rolled over to look for it. His eyes widened when he saw that his window was wide open, the curtains flapping slightly in the October air blowing in. That's why it was so cold in his room, but that wasn't the problem here.

' _ I didn't open that window last night... _ ' he thought, his mind was still a bit hazed from sleeping for so long. Maybe he  _ did _ leave the window open, but he didn't think so since it was starting to get colder outside. Soon, the realization kicked in and suddenly one name flashed through his head.

' _ Gilbert. _ '

The Russian stumbled to get up from his bed, his eyes going blurry when he suddenly stood up so quickly. After regaining his balance enough so that he wouldn't fall, he pulled on his scarf, which he had fallen asleep in, to loosen it from his neck since it was sort of strangling him. He walked over to the window and looked out it; his view was facing the forest where Gilbert used to live. Suddenly Gilbert's name was being repeated in his head multiple times in a frantic tone. He leaned out the window a little to satisfy a curiosity, hoping that Gilbert's body wouldn't be mangled at the bottom, though he knew that Gilbert was stronger than that. Ivan's heart thudded in his chest, and he found himself trying to grasp onto any amount of hope that he could find. ' _ Maybe he's sleeping still? _ ' he asked himself with futile hope and then shut his window quickly, locking it and then bolting out of his bedroom. 

Ivan's eyes went instantly to the couch where he hoped he would find Gilbert sleeping but the couch was empty, the quilt looking like it was thrown away from whoever used it last, with nearly half of it lying on the floor. 

' _ Why am I surprised? _ ' he wondered to himself as he kept his eyes locked sadly on the couch; obviously Gilbert would have taken the first chance he got to leave. Ivan glanced to the door and noticed that the bolt and chain were still in place, which meant Gilbert did leave through the window in Ivan's room. The idea of Gilbert being in his room and jumping from his window, his wings spreading and carrying his skinny body into the night made Ivan sad. How Gilbert must have felt coming back into the room where his attacker was sleeping, it must have been terrible. 

He looked around, and he saw that Gilbert's shirt and coat were still lying on the floor in a clumped mess. The Russian let out a defeated sigh and he picked up Gilbert's jacket, and he nearly started crying again because of the image of yesterday, the image of Gilbert wearing this very coat and being so excited about ice cream and just the way he looked when they were in the boat as he shared his story. That image had been replaced by a Gilbert that was terrified and crying because of what Ivan had done. Ivan hadn't felt so terrible since he started the fire at his family home years ago. It had that same aching feeling in his chest of letting down someone you cared for.

He let the jacket lay across his lap as he sat down on the couch where Gilbert had previously been for the past few days. Gilbert would always sleep with his head closer to the hall and he'd sit in the same spot no matter what, like he was claiming that one area for himself, and it  _ was _ his spot as far as Ivan was concerned. He couldn't help himself from looking down at the pillow that still had a slight imprint of Gilbert's head in it and there were even a few small strands of his white hair lying about. The sight brought a strange feeling to the Russian and he wasn't sure what it was. Sadness, loneliness, or just a blatant want to see Gilbert's face again, or maybe all three. It was probably wrong of him to want to see Gilbert again and god knows that he didn't deserve it, but that didn't stop him from wanting it. After staring down at the pillow for longer than he should have, Ivan finally folded Gilbert's jacket neatly and stood up, still with the coat in his arms. He walked to the large windows in his apartment, from which he could see part of the forest but mostly the streets below him. 

His eyes narrowed in sadness and his hands gripped at the black fabric of the coat he was holding. ' _ Maybe it's better that he left. He never wanted to be here in the first place... _ ' Ivan thought, and although the thought made him sad, he had to admit that it was true; Gilbert wouldn't want him in anyway even if he were to stay. That being said, Ivan couldn't help but recall how Gilbert acted last night before he took it too far. He obviously didn't mind Ivan's hands and lips on him and he even seemed to enjoy it more than he probably should have. Ivan's face felt like it suddenly burst into flames when he remembered the way that Gilbert's white wings had folded down onto his back, like he was submitting to Ivan and encouraging him. It was a good feeling to have another person enjoy their touch, but Ivan just now realized the amount of trust that Gilbert had put into him that allowed him to do what he did, trust that he destroyed by not stopping when Gilbert asked him to. The way that the albino yelled his name was now etched into his memory and it pained his heart just to imagine the sound again. It was one of the worst feelings he remembered having. He really didn't want the first time Gilbert said his name to be out of fear; he wanted it to happen when Gilbert finally trusted him enough and considered him a friend. 

Despite coming to the conclusion that Gilbert was better off, he didn't  _ actually _ believe that Gilbert was better off, because, realistically speaking, he  _ really _ isn't. The man was falling out of trees, tripping, and falling down at every turn. He's clearly getting to a point where he's so weak and malnourished that he's losing balance and hurting himself, and now with the winter months coming up, it's going to start getting colder and he's probably going to get sick a lot. Ivan knew that Gilbert probably wouldn't accept his help a second time now that his trust in him was deep in the negatives, but the Russian still cared for the winged-man and that wouldn't stop him from trying to help, even if Gilbert didn't want it. He was done trying to impress Gilbert or get him to open up, done trying to be his friend because he was sure that Gilbert wouldn't even consider giving him a second chance, but Ivan wasn't going to let him suffer without even attempting to try. 

Ivan returned to his room and retrieved a suitcase from his closet. It was a fairly large one so it would fit all of Gilbert's clothes and then some. Gilbert's clothing that he bought a few days ago was folded in Ivan's room since there wasn't anywhere else to put them. Ivan packed them neatly into the suitcase, he also gathered some first aid supplies from the bathroom because lord knows that Gilbert was probably  _ already _ covered in cuts and scratches again. He then carried the suitcase back into the living room. He packed the coat and shirt into the suitcase as well, and then he eyed the quilt that Gilbert had taken a liking to curling up tightly in. For the first time today, Ivan actually smiled, albeit sadly, and began folding up the quilt; it was fairly big but he managed to shove it into the suitcase and zip it shut. He set the suitcase on the coffee table and then went to the kitchen. He packed some more bread, fruit and some other food for Gilbert into another basket much like the one he gave him earlier that was probably still out in the forest.  Along with water bottles and some other things, he finished preparing his gifts. 

He went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, and he looked like a mess. His hair was curling more than usual and his eyes were bloodshot, even his eyelids were drooping down a bit. He looked like he had been up all night and only got maybe an hour of sleep. He was going to take a shower but in all honesty, he  _ really _ didn't feel like doing so. He ran his head under the sink for a moment to wet his hair, and then brushed it out so it wasn't sticking up so crazily anymore. After taking care of some other business, he walked back out into the front room and put his long trench coat on, and then fixed his previously mangled scarf around his neck so he looked somewhat presentable and nice. He grabbed the suitcase and the basket and headed out of his apartment.

. 

The leaves of the trees were turning and some were even falling to the ground, almost covering the path that led to Gilbert's forest. He had about 10 minutes to walk, and he walked even slower than he usually does. During that time, he went over in his head what he would say to Gilbert, of course,  _ if _ Gilbert would even  _ allow _ him to talk; he might just attack on sight out of defense, and Ivan decided that if he did, he would let him kick and punch until he was satisfied. It was intimidating to think about seeing Gilbert again after what he did; Gilbert was probably an angry mess, but beyond that, Ivan knew that Gilbert was probably hungry, thirsty, and cold, and Gilbert's needs weighed out against the fear of seeing the albino again. 

It was stupid, he thought, how he wanted to make sure Gilbert was safe, yet he was too stupid to obey a simple "stop". To think, if he had listened and actually stopped, he could be cuddling on the couch right now with his Gilbert and maybe actually kissing him.

...

Did he just think of Gilbert as  _ his _ ...?

Ivan's face turned a dark red and he picked up his pace, his long white scarf blowing behind him in the wind. 

He saw the cliff where his life almost ended a few days ago come into his eyesight. His heart began to beat faster with anticipation and fear as he walked closer and eventually saw the same tree that Gilbert was always in or around. He looked around above him and into the forest around, but he couldn't see any sign of Gilbert or a sign of anything in general, not even the birds were singing, but he couldn't help feeling like he was being watched. 

Ivan walked up next to Gilbert's tree and he sighed, thinking that Gilbert didn't return here. It would be smart, Gilbert probably knew that Ivan would come to find him for whatever reason, so why would he come back to the spot where they met? Ivan set the suitcase and basket down at the base of the tree and let out a heavy sigh with his eyes closed, just as he was thinking about walking away, he was suddenly turned around and pushed up against the tree trunk, his eyes shot open wide at the impact of his head hitting the hard bark, and he suddenly felt something press weakly against his throat that made his body tense up. Before him stood a familiar face.

"Gilbert--"

"Why are you here!?" the albino shouted and pressed the cold piece of metal to Ivan's throat more firmly to keep him in place. Gilbert's face was stone cold and he wasn't playing around, and he kind of looked like a wild animal with that fire in his eyes and his hair being so unruly. He wasn't even blinking normally and his body and hands were as steady as a rock. His eyes were narrowed with anger, and not a trace of fear seemed to be in his being. However, at this close proximity, Ivan could see that Gilbert's eyes were also bloodshot like his own. He was dressed in his black pants from yesterday and still without a shirt. Ivan noticed that his arms had a few more scratches on them already and it hadn't even been 24 hours yet. His wings were also put away, and Ivan cringed at the thought of how much pain Gilbert must have been in putting them back without any help.

"Why are you here!?" Gilbert yelled again with more emphasis. To which Ivan couldn't reply and just stood there staring wide-eyed at the man pinning him against the tree. Even though Gilbert was significantly smaller and physically weaker than him, Gilbert was fast and probably skilled with whatever he was pressing against his neck. It was terrifying, but Gilbert held Ivan's life in his hands, and he was not joking about this. He looked like he was ready to kill Ivan, and the Russian understood that.

"Answer me!" Gilbert demanded, though his voice cracked a little, now running out of that initial dominance he had. He was angry but he was never one to hurt another person or even attempt to. Plus seeing Ivan again rekindled some feelings and also some hatred and he became so torn on what to do that it made him just want to break down and cry. He was getting irrationally. 

"I-I'm not, going to hurt you--" Ivan started but Gilbert responded instantly by pressing the metal blade harder against Ivan's neck, which the Russian felt cut through a few layers of skin but not enough to draw blood.

"You said that before, jackass!" Gilbert growled. "And look where that got you!"

"I-I know!" Ivan's voice rose slightly in agreement, "Gilbert you have me pinned here, I can't do anything, I don't  _ want _ to do anything." He said, "I just came to bring your clothing and some food, that's  _ all _ ."

Gilbert listened to every word and studied Ivan's face closely; their faces were just inches from each other's. ' _ He's lying... _ ' Gilbert told himself, and then looked down. Ivan's hands were limp at his sides, and Gilbert was holding him against the tree with only a piece of metal. Ivan is physically stronger so he could easily grab onto the albino if he wanted to defend himself, not to mention he could use magic, but he wasn't, he was  _ letting _ Gilbert pin him down. Gilbert glanced back up to Ivan's face, and he noticed a little purplish spot on the Russian's cheek, the spot where Gilbert had slugged him the previous night was now showing in the form of a pale bruise. There was some fear in Ivan's eyes, but there was something else. Was this his way of apologizing to Gilbert?

Gilbert growled and let out an irritated sigh and then slowly removed the metal from Ivan's throat. As soon as he was free, Ivan rubbed the front of his neck with the tip of his index finger. The albino still kept his weapon in his hand firmly though, just as a precaution. 

"Listen, I'm not looking for forgiveness here, but I never meant to actually hurt you." Ivan said, and Gilbert glared a little at him in response. "I should have stopped when you told me too, and you have no idea how badly I wish I did, but I didn't and I can't change that." He said and looked down. "I was happy because I finally had someone who wanted me to... touch them." His face turned a light pink, and Gilbert simply crossed his arms and glared harder. "I thought that maybe if you let me continue, you would get used to it..." he said.

Gilbert scoffed angrily. "What are you an idiot? I  _ would _ have gotten used to it,  _ overtime _ , but you didn't even let me have that option! Do you think I'm just going to let a stranger kiss on me like that without being unsure!?" He shouted. "If you would have given me a little more time then, maybe I-!" Ivan saw Gilbert's face turned a little red, but the albino shook his head slightly to break his train of thought, "But no! You blew it! I trusted you and you blew it! You can't just erase stuff like that! It's part of my memory and I can't forget it!" Gilbert cried. The albino's hands clenched together tight and Ivan could tell that he was on the verge of tears. All the Russian wanted to do was reach out and hug him, but he knew it wasn't a good idea, but he still attempted.

Ivan carefully placed a hand on the albino's shoulder and stepped closer cautiously. Gilbert froze at the touch and sniffled quietly. Ivan moved even closer, sliding his hands around the albino's shoulders and managed to get his arms around the smaller man's back, and he was utterly surprised by how easily Gilbert let himself be buried in the Russian's chest again. Gilbert grit his teeth because he couldn't deny that he loved the feeling of Ivan's arms around him, it was just comforting and so easy to give into, even his scent was something that he missed. The metal that Gilbert was holding slowly slipped from his hand and hit the dirt by his feet.

"I don't need forgiveness, Gilbert, but please just know that I didn't mean to hurt or scare you. I was drunk, and I know that's no excuse but alcohol does make me more aggressive and I apologize for that." The Russian said and held onto the other tighter, burying his face into that mess of white hair like he so loved doing. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright, and give you your clothing so you'll be a little better prepared for the winter." He mumbled quietly into Gilbert's soft snowy hair.

Gilbert's eyes welled up with salty tears and he was so close to giving in. After being alone for years and then suddenly being treated like a human and even being loved just felt fantastic, like he deserved to be held and caressed and loved, and now that he had a taste of his old life that he once thought was right for him, he wanted nothing more than to go back with Ivan and sleep on that couch with that stupid quilt tangled around himself so tight that he could barely move. But that trust that he had gained in Ivan had shattered. He wanted to trust him, but what if he did something again and didn't stop at all next time? It was something that Gilbert didn't want to risk. Not because he was afraid of being physically hurt, he didn't care about that as his body would just heal, he just didn't want to have his mettle broken and feel like an idiot for trusting someone, because he found that mental wounds don't heal as fast. It was stupid though, since being physically hurt by Ivan would also lead to mental hurt, just as it was doing to him now. All the more reason to stay away. 

"No!" Gilbert suddenly pushed against Ivan's chest, and Ivan let him push away. "You can't expect me to just accept that!" he yelled, standing in front of Ivan with his fists balled up at his sides. "Even if you regret it, that doesn't change the fact that you did it!" he said, his eyes tearing up more and finally the tears flowed over his eyelids and rolled down his cheeks. "Just... just go away!" he shouted, "I don't want to see you anymore!" 

Though Ivan was expecting those words, it still sent a shock through his system that made his chest hurt. Gilbert wasn't expecting to see the Russian cry, so when tears suddenly began to flow down his cheeks in constant streams, Gilbert felt a twinge of guilt even if he wasn't expected to feel any guilt at all. It was just strange to see Ivan so hurt over something he did, but it proved to Gilbert that he was truly sorry. 

Ivan nodded silently and began walking away. Gilbert opened his mouth to say something but he stopped himself before doing something that he would regret, and so he stood there and watched the Russian walk away; it was strange how someone's back could tell so much about the emotion they're feeling.  

.

Once the Russian was out of sight, Gilbert let out a loud irritated groan and fell back against the trunk of the tree, closing his eyes and gritting his teeth again. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he growled between his teeth in a disbelieving voice. "You've  _ got _ to be." He slid down the trunk of the tree, not caring that the bark scraped against his bare back and probably gave him a few splinters. ' _ I let him in again... so easily too... _ ' he thought as he opened his eyes to the slightly clouded blue sky above him. ' _ I want to trust him so bad, but I just... I... _ ' he squeezed his eyes shut and brought his legs up to his chest, resting his forehead on his kneecaps and wrapping his arms around his legs. It felt terrible to know that Ivan was hurting over this too, and from the looks of it the Russian was more upset with himself than Gilbert was at him. Gilbert thought it was strange how that worked, but he guessed that Ivan just really cared for him and was truly sorry for what he had done. 

After a few minutes of crying, Gilbert glanced to the suitcase next to him. He stared at it for a moment and noticed how bloated it looked and he became a little curious as to what was making it bulge out the way that it was. 

' _ He didn't... _ ' he thought to himself, suddenly getting an idea. His curiosity got the better of him and he reached over and dragged the large case into his now crossed legs. He gripped the small silver zipper between his index finger and thumb of his right hand and dragged it all around the suitcase, he then lifted the top on it and let it fall away from him. His eyes widened. 

"You stupid sweet bastard..." he grumbled to himself as his eyes welled up with tears again. He was looking down at the very quilt that he had wrapped himself in for the last few nights. He really loved it, it was soft and warm and the fact that Ivan sewed it himself gave it this warm and comforting feeling of home, something that Gilbert hadn't felt in a long time. He found himself shedding more tears, but he wiped at them with the palm of his right hand. It was futile though, as his eyes seemed to just continue flowing over with tears. It wasn't a heavy sobbing or a lot of tears either, more like a small steady stream of water flowing from a faucet. The tears were a result of a strange version of happiness and sadness. Gilbert was grateful that Ivan brought him this stuff, and that he truly seemed sorry. Gilbert was happy about that because it meant that Ivan could eventually redeem himself, but what made Gilbert sad was the fact that he might not be able to fully forgive Ivan. His trust was shattered and he didn't know if he'd ever truly be comfortable with the Russian again. 

He pulled the quilt out of the suitcase a little and he press the fabric to his cheek, his eyes closing shut gently. The fabric stuck to his wet cheek a little but that didn't stop him from rubbing his face against it more. It was warm from being in the suitcase, and Gilbert turned his face and shoved it into the quilt. His eyes squeezed tighter as he suddenly just wanted to be back on that couch, curled up and drinking hot chocolate with Ivan as he performed more little magic tricks. Speaking of Ivan, the Russian's scent was all over the quilt, and that just made Gilbert ache more. He eventually got used to the smell of Ivan and his apartment, but now he could tell how different and how welcoming it was. 

He sat there on the cold ground for what seemed like hours, just silently burying his face into the quilt. However after a while, his stomach started rumbling and he glanced over to the basket that Ivan had also brought with him. He smiled at it and then pulled it closer, lifting the lid and glancing inside. He saw more of those green fruit, bread, some meat, water, and even a few cans of vodka. He let out a soft chuckle and pulled a can out of the basket, he also took a piece of bread out as well. Cracking the can of vodka, he took a drink and then ripped a piece of the bread off before shoving it into his mouth. 

For the first time since last night, he felt content. He knew that the feeling wouldn't last long but it was nice to have a quiet moment where nothing seemed wrong again. He tilted his head back against the hard trunk of the tree and looked up at the sky, the sun was flickering behind some trees, causing some rays to flash across his face. His life was back to normal, the way it had always been, just him alone sitting at the base of a tree, relaxing in the shade that the leaves provided. 

Even though he was content, he could deny that it was Ivan's doing. Ivan brought him this stuff and eased his mind even if only a little.

.

The apartment felt incredibly empty now that Ivan knew that Gilbert wasn't coming back. He couldn't even look at the couch where he imagined Gilbert to be sitting, excited with star-filled eyes as he watched him throw fire from his hands. The mental image was enough to make him get choked up, but he had to accept that Gilbert was gone, end of story. 

Upon thinking of the first time Gilbert saw his magic, he remembered how his sisters reacted too. They were scared at first, but once Ivan showed that he could control the fire, they were intrigued just as Gilbert was. When he wanted to learn more, he went to a 'secret' school that taught magic and he excelled in his classes, being the top of each class and getting praise from other mages even though he was so young. He loved it and felt like he belonged with the mages, but eventually he began to fall behind for some reason and so he took up studying at home more, something his father didn't approve of at all, but still he did it anyway. Ivan was in over his head and thought that he could pull off a fireball spell but it went out of control the moment he cast it and it exploded. If Ivan hadn't ducked when it did, he may have gotten even worse burns than he received. His arm had a scar from the explosion, as well as his side from the scorching heat. He also lost a bit of hair, and he had to cut it pretty short a while after the fire. That wasn't the worst part of it though, when his father got trapped inside the house trying to save his wife and daughters, Ivan felt an endless shame of guilt for nearly killing his entire family, and even though his sisters forgave him, he never forgave himself for killing his own father.

.

The next day, Gilbert was curled up at the base of the same tree he was always at. He was awake and had been for hours, and he was anxiously looking toward the path that Ivan takes to get to him and he was expecting Ivan to wander back into the forest again like he usually does to check on him, but after hours of waiting and the sun had begun to set again, Ivan never showed and Gilbert gave up a bit of hope, and just told himself that maybe he'd show tomorrow.

2 more days passed and Ivan still hadn't shown up, and at this point Gilbert was completely out of tears to cry, he just laid there wrapped in the now dirty quilt and biting his lip so hard that it bled. He kept breaking the skin open so he had a fairly large sore on his lower lip, but he didn't care. He was beginning to realize that Ivan wasn't coming back for him and that those few days were like a dream that never really happened. He refused to eat or drink anything, and he lost his strength to even move, he didn't have the motivation to anymore.

.

A week had passed since the night Gilbert left, and Ivan was a mess once again. He managed to keep himself away from Gilbert because he knew that it was a bad idea to try to convince him to come back, but he couldn't help but think about him. Nearly every night he would lie awake and glance over next to him, imagining the night that Gilbert had his nightmare and slept with him. He even had dreams where he would be holding Gilbert tight and rubbing up and down his back soothingly. Another of the Russian gently kissing along the albino's neck lovingly again. One of where Ivan actually kissed the other on the lips. Each night, Ivan would wake up blushing red and feeling like he was a horrible person for dreaming about Gilbert in these various ways, but that didn't stop him from truly enjoying the memories of the few days he was here and the dreams his imagination brought him at night. 

As much as he didn't want it to, life went on whether Gilbert was here or not. The apartment was too quiet, eating alone was depressing, and simply waking up knowing that that white-haired, slightly headstrong man wouldn't be curled up on the couch wrapped in that quilt was a heartbreaking fact that made Ivan not even want to get out of bed. Still, life went on and Ivan had to live. It would go back to before like he had never met Gilbert, but that was the hard part; if he hadn't met Gilbert, he wouldn't even be living.

He eventually found himself stumbling down the stairs in his apartment building on a trip to retrieve his mail, he usually never got anything anyway so it was probably pointless, but with all the lying about and moping he had been doing the past week, he really needed to get up and walk around a bit. 

Just as he got to the base floor, he froze in his tracks and instantly wanted to turn around. The woman who had been chasing him for months was just walking up to the building. He had a quick thought of making himself invisible and running away but that wouldn't be a good idea at all, plus it was a difficult spell to pull off and it took more than a few seconds to cast. Before he could think again, the woman opened the door holding a shopping bag. 

"Oh, hello Ivan." The use of his first name irritated him, though he knew that she always called him by his first name. He gave a weak wave to her as she closed the door behind her. "How are you? I haven't seen you in days." She said.

Ivan sighed, "I'm fine." He  _ really _ didn't want to deal with this woman right now. She was always so persistent and annoying, plus his mind was still on Gilbert so she wasn't even important in his mind at all.

The woman had a suspicion that he was lying, but didn't dwell on it, something that the Russian was thankful for. "Did your white-haired friend leave already? I haven't seen him in a while either." 

Ivan's eyes widened a little, "Yeah, he did." He wondered how she even knew about Gilbert.

"I see... I heard that he was a friend of yours, traveling around or something." She said.

The Russian nodded slowly, "Yeah, he only stopped by for a few days, and he left about a week ago."

"I see. I heard from the landlord that he was an old friend of yours, how did you guys meet?"

"Listen, Ms, uh. Ms. Smith" he struggled to remember her name, "I don't want to talk about it. I've had a bad week, and I'm not sure that he's even my friend anymore."

Smith's eyes widened a little, "Oh really? Did you guys have a fight?" she asked, looking a bit concened.

"You could say that." 

The woman walked a bit closer and smiled. "Just give it some time, who knows, you guys might just need some time apart to work things out." She said, and it actually make some sense, maybe all he and Gilbert needed were some time apart, though he wouldn't get his hopes up at all. How ironic that this woman actually made him feel better.

"Anyway, I wanted to show you something." Smith said and put her hand in the bag she was carrying and pulled out a tan piece of paper. "That theater you work at got a bunch of new shows, and some of them are really good. A few days ago they started this new card trick show that seems to be a favorite, but the main attraction is this." She held the paper up to Ivan so he could see it.

"Sorry I don't, work there... anymore." He mumbled off as he squinted his eyes to look at the flyer. "Gabriella?" he read the name across the top of the flyer.

"Yeah, she's an  _ angel _ ." She said sarcastically and then scoffed. "She's probably just some poor girl who needed work with a pair of strap on wings." Smith said, "But I saw the show yesterday and the girl is really beautiful, and the effects of the show are fantastic. I know you like mythical creatures and all that fantasy stuff so I figured you'd like this type of show." 

Ivan took the flyer from the woman and stared down at it. He looked at the faded image of the angel on the paper and he suddenly got a sinking feeling. He wasn't sure if he was just paranoid or if his gut was actually telling him something but the woman on the flyer reminded him of Gilbert, minus the long hair. 

"It can't be..." he mumbled out loud in a trance.

"I'm sorry, what?" Smith asked.

"Ah, nothing. When is the next show?"

"Tomorrow night."

Ivan nodded and said thank you rather quickly, and then turned away and began powerwalking up the stairs back to his room, Smith stuttered a combination of farewell sayings as the Russian ran away.

He slammed his door behind him and locked all the locks on it and then walked to his couch. Sitting down, he stared at the paper even more. The longer he looked at the woman in the picture, the more he imagined Gilbert, even though the face structure was different and her body type clearly was that of a curvy woman, and it wasn't possible for Gilbert to actually  _ be _ this woman; he was out in the forest doing whatever he wanted to do, and he had no need for a job at the theater.

Still though, he couldn't shake this horrible feeling in his stomach and a voice in his head was quietly whispering ' _ What if...? _ ' 


	8. Chapter 8

Ivan walked into the theater room, following and being followed by a large crowd of people. It was strange to see so many people here again, and it actually made him smile to see that the theater was doing well again, but he couldn't shake this bad feeling he had. He was curious about this 'female angel' mentioned on the flyer since his gut was telling him that it was Gilbert, and though the image of her on the flyer said otherwise, still he was curious. 

He sat down in the second row from the stage and pulled the flyer out of his coat pocket, unfolded it and looked down at it. He couldn't help but gaze intensely at the woman, ' _ Angels don't exist... do they? _ ' he asked himself as he stared at the features of the photographed woman. Her eyes were closed, and she had long hair flowing down to her hips, small braids falling down in front of her ears and tied at the bottom with ribbons. She was truly beautiful and looked peaceful, and her dress was long and flowing like her hair. Ivan imagined the clothing to be white, as he always imagined angels to be white and pure. It was a cliché image of angels, and to be honest he didn't know much about them, nor if they truly existed at all. 

Suddenly the lights in the room went dark and some children cooed excitingly with anticipation. Ivan glanced back up at the stage just as the curtains began to draw. There was a man in the center of the stage wearing a set of armor, complete with a helmet and a sword, and looking up at a tower with a closed wooden window at the top. Very Rapunzel-esque, Ivan thought. Ivan squinted as the man took his cheap-looking helmet off, and he was utterly shocked to see that it was Mallory, the man who owned the theater and fired him the previous month.  

' _ What is he doing...? _ ' Ivan asked himself and then glanced around the stage; no one else was up there with him, which was strange for a magic-play or whatever Mallory was doing now. Mallory swung his sword around and shifted his body to take a new stance or 'pose' to look like a brave knight, spewing some ridiculous line about finding the love of his life who had saved him from death, which was probably the angel mentioned on the flyer. He then began to describe her: Long flowing hair that blew gracefully in the wind, bright blue eyes with a tint of pink like the sky just before the sun began to set, skin as fair as a newborn baby. She was his 'white princess', as he said, for her skin and hair was the color of snow and her clothing always matched. Such a beauty, a treasure, a true angel. It was terrible but the description reminded Ivan of Gilbert in a subtle way. After Mallory gave his description, some smoke filled the stage, along with lightening caused by flashing lights, which were actually people above the stage using lightning magic to make it more realistic. Ivan guessed that he was the only one who knew that the lightning was real magic. 

The play became boring to Ivan then, fake little creatures like goblins and imps played by children ran onto the stage and were quickly 'killed' by the 'dashing knight Mallory'. The title was given to him by the woman next to Ivan who had been chatting with her friend and seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with Mallory's ass. Ivan was just about to stand up and leave when Mallory suddenly began shouting.

"My Angel! Come down from your tower and grace me once more with your heavenly presence." 

' _ how cheesy _ .' Ivan groaned to himself, rolling his eyes and glancing up at the tower to where he assumed the beautiful angel was since Mallory was extending his arms dramatically toward the window on the tower. There was more lightening for a moment, followed by a blazing light like the sun, something Ivan wasn't really sure of the cause of, and the window on the tower opened. A pale arm clothed with a loose white lace sleeve was revealed, and the woman looked out the window. The crowd went into a state of awe and began murmuring about how beautiful she was, and she was, Ivan thought so as well. Though he studied her face a little more, and she looked upset, sad, or even afraid. Ivan couldn't tell from this distance.

"Come to me, my love!" Mallory shouted in his 'hero voice' as he lifted his hands to the air, directed at the tower. Suddenly there was a foot wearing a white sandal propped up onto the edge of the window, one could clearly see the flawless pale skin of the woman's leg as she stepped up onto the windowsill. Her white hair flowed forward as she leaned out. After a few seconds, the crowd gasped in awe at what they saw next: her wings erecting from her back, beautiful and white, and panning out to each side of her as she readied herself to jump. Ivan however, froze solid and his violet eyes widened in shock in how realistic and  _ familiar _ the wings were. He leaned forward in his seat and squinted once more to see if he could make out the woman's face better, and she turned to give the audience a little glance. Ivan inhaled deeply as she seemed to be giving a look that was just  _ crying _ out for help, and then Ivan confirmed it. It was  _ him _ , it really was--

" _ Gilbert... _ " he murmured out quietly, and then watched as the angel fell from the tower, literally catching the air under her wings and fluttering to the floor gracefully in front of Mallory, who walked to her slowly for a dramatic effect. Gilbert was wearing the exact long white dress from the flyer, except it wasn't actually him on the paper but he looked exactly like the woman, but honestly Ivan thought he was more beautiful than her.

"My love, you're finally here." Mallory went on, placing his hands on the 'woman's' shoulders, which made a flame of protectiveness light in Ivan that he wasn't aware he felt yet. The way Mallory was touching the 'angel' and the slight grin on his face was actually making that little flame burn more, and Ivan began to notice it. Why was Mallory doing this? Why was Gilbert in this play? How long has he been here? Also, why was he dressed as a beautiful woman playing an angel?

Thinking about all of this made Ivan feel nauseous, and he had to stand up, so he did and began shimmying his way to the side of the room and mumbled 'excuse me' and 'sorry' when he accidentally bumped into someone as he passed them. He ran off, slipping backstage actually, he remembered where everything was and the lack of light allowed him to find a deserted hall where some clothing and prop closets were. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes and growled a little under his breath. He just couldn't make even the smallest amount of sense of this at all. He hadn't seen Gilbert in a week and wasn't exactly happy to see him playing the role of a female saving angel in a play for the very man who fired him for being too cheesy, but he wondered if Gilbert even wanted to see him. 

After about 10 minutes, Ivan noticed that the play had ended since the crowd suddenly began clapping happily, but as much as he enjoyed hearing people happy after a magic-play, he just couldn't enjoy it this time. He stood from his sitting position on the floor when he realized that people would be coming down the hall, and he turned quickly, panicking and not yet sure what he was doing. He took a chance and he jumped inside one of the closets nearest to him. It was dark and smelled like make-up. He honestly didn't miss this part of working here; the outfits and make-up sucked more than anything. He peeked out the small vents on the door and saw some unfamiliar people walk by, and suddenly his heart dropped to his stomach when  _ he _ walked by, the angel "Gabriella", still dressed in that white dress with the long white wig on, and his wings still projecting from his back. 

Ivan's breath caught in his throat and he thought about what he would do, he didn't want Gilbert to be upset with him. Suddenly, he opened the door and called out Gilbert's name in an urgent whisper and the albino turned around upon hearing his real name. He looked shocked and terrified and gasped when Ivan wasted no time in running to him and grabbing his arm, he made a few more gasping sounds as Ivan pulled him into the dark closet with him. Before Gilbert could react, Ivan's hand found Gilbert's mouth after some fumbling in the dark to keep him quiet. Gilbert didn't attempt to speak; it was something he had gotten used to. 

"I have  _ so _ many questions but I am so damn glad to see you. Not like  _ this _ but still, I'm happy to see you." Ivan said and sighed heavily, and then let his hand slip down from the other's mouth. "I know I'm the last person you want to see, especially since you told me that you didn't want to see me again, but I..." Ivan mumbled his last words and stopped, not being able to think of what else to say.

Gilbert looked down as Ivan mumbled on. He stuttered softly, his lips trembling in the dark. "I'm sorry..." he whispered. 

Ivan blinked in confusion, "What? Why are you sorry?" he asked.

"I'm sorry." Came the tiny apology again with no further explanation.

Ivan smiled sadly and placed a hand on Gilbert's bare shoulder, which earned a small twitch from the albino. "Gilbert, tell me what's going on. Why are you here? And why are you working with Mallory and dressed like a woman?" Ivan asked.

"I... I can't..." the albino muttered out as he stepped back a little and bumped into a rack of costumes. 

Purple eyes narrowed his eyes in Gilbert's direction as he felt the man move away from him. He was shaking slightly and Ivan didn't let go of him. "What? Why not? Gilbert please tell me what's happening here..." he begged, feeling guilty for Gilbert's fear.

The 'angel' stayed quiet for a moment and then took a shaky breath before speaking. "I'm not supposed to talk." He said quietly, "It's part of the act... that I don't have a voice, but it's not just on stage, everyone here thinks I'm mute, and he won't let me talk..." Gilbert said.

"What? Who, Mallory? Why won't he let you talk?" Ivan asked.

There was a moment of silence from the albino, "He said if I talk, he'll hurt someone close to me, so he uses that to keep me in check..." Gilbert said, looking off to the side, feeling the burn from Ivan's stare even in the dark.

"He threatened you?" Ivan asked.

"Yeah... but not just me."

"Who is he threatening to hurt? I thought you didn't have any friends or family in the city-?"

"I have  _ you! _ " Gilbert snapped and covered his mouth at his outburst, and then stumbled backward more into the costume rack; his wings twitched at the impact and knocked some of the clothing off the racks. Ivan moved with him, gripping the other's thin shoulder with his free hand to show him that someone was with him, that he was safe.

"Me? He's threatening you with me?" Gilbert nodded silently in response. "But how?"

Gilbert took another shaky breath, "He knows that you took me in... and he wants me in his act, so he says he'll..." he stopped, "I can't, I'm not allowed to see you..." he mumbled, his voice cracking slightly. 

Ivan moved closer and Gilbert could feel his body near him, and for some reason he felt terrified of it. He was still a little unsure about Ivan considering what happened, but with everything that followed that incident, Gilbert felt a bit safer with Ivan, though he did feel trapped and pinned down in the dark. Suddenly Ivan let his arms slide around to Gilbert's back and took the smaller man into an embrace, burying his face down into the nook of Gilbert's neck. He was wary of where he put his arms since he didn't want to bother Gilbert's wings.

"Don't worry about me, Gilbert, please; Mallory can't hurt me and he knows it." Ivan said and nuzzled his nose under Gilbert's ear subtly. The albino's hands were trapped against Ivan's chest, and his fingers wiggled a little to grip at the fabric of Ivan's jacket. He wanted to believe Ivan, he  _ really _ did, but Mallory was cruel, and he guessed that Ivan didn't even know who he really was, and why Gilbert was hesitant to leave.

"Ivan... you have to leave." Gilbert said. His voice was still shaky and laced with concern and fear.

The Russian pulled back from the other but was still hugging around him mostly, "What are you talking about? I'm not going to leave you like this, are you kidding?" 

"No, I'm  _ not! _ " Gilbert hissed as quietly as he could. "If Mallory finds out that I met with you, he's going to beat me again!" 

Ivan stiffened and gripped tighter. " _ Again? _ " he repeated in an angry tone, and Gilbert tried to back away, but Ivan pulled him back to him. "Gilbert, what  _ exactly _ has he done to you?" 

Gilbert breathed out heavily and then looked down, "You're not going to give up, are you?" he asked.

"No, I'm not." Ivan answered honestly. 

Gilbert sighed, "Fine, turn on the light and I'll show you." he said. 

Ivan nodded and searched around on the wall by the door for a switch, and after a few seconds of thoroughly molesting the wall, the bright light of the small closet flickered on. Ivan looked back to Gilbert, who was now messing with the under part of his long wig, and soon pulled it from his head, letting his natural short snow-white hair bounce free. Ivan couldn't help but look at him; even in a dress, he was still attractive, but now was not the time to think about that. Gilbert looked down, kicked off his white sandals and then pulled on the lace bow on the front of his dress. 

Ivan tilted his head strangely. "What are you-?"

"Be quiet." Gilbert mumbled a bit irritatingly as he loosened the laces on the top of the dress and then turned around with his back facing Ivan, keeping his wings folded nicely against his back. "Untie it." he instructed. Ivan walked to him and looked at the poorly knotted strings tying behind Gilbert's neck. The Russian fumbled with the knot and finally got it undone and let the strings fall over Gilbert's back. Gilbert then pulled the separate sleeves off of his arms and let them fall to the ground. He then pushed the dress down so it bunched around his hips. Even in this situation, Ivan couldn't help but look down that pale, bare back; he took a moment to admire those gorgeous white wings before following his spine down until his viewing pleasure was interrupted by a bunch of purple bruises on his lower back. Gilbert turned around, and Ivan's mouth opened a little more, hanging in shock and a now-rising anger; more bruises were dotting his pectorals around the X-shaped scar. Ivan looked down to Gilbert's belly and he felt something tug at his insides, a large still-healing gash was on his lower belly, and disappeared under the white dress. Ivan sighed heavily and his eyes dropped in sadness. 

"I need you to help me... please. I'll tell you everything once we're out..." Gilbert mumbled as he walked closer. 

Ivan blinked in confusion, "Out? So you will come with me?'

Gilbert looked away. "I didn't think you'd take 'no' for an answer." He said with heavy implication. The comment tugged at Ivan's heart and he knew why; the albino hadn't fully forgiven what he had done and Ivan understood that, but Gilbert was right, he wasn't going to let Gilbert stay here like this, even if Gilbert protested. Ivan looked up to his eyes and nodded a bit. "I need you to keep me quiet." He said, and Ivan tilted his head a little confusedly. "My wings, remember? I can't have someone hear me scream." He said and turned around, glancing over his shoulder back at Ivan, "Can you do that for me?" 

"Yeah, I got you." he mumbled and gently pressed his hands on Gilbert's back under the bases of his wings. ' _ I'll get you out of here... I'll kill Mallory too... _ ' he thought to himself, glaring at the purple spots on Gilbert's lower back. Gilbert then began to retract his wings once again, grunting softly in pain but Ivan was there with him casting his spell to keep his nerves soothed and barely bleeding. With Ivan healing him, there was nearly no pain at all. Gilbert was thankful that the Russian was here this time; after so many shows of taking his wings out and then retracting them on his own, he almost got used to the pain because he felt almost numb each time. The warmth coming from Ivan's hands felt nice, like a massage or something, and Gilbert wanted more of it. Once the tips of his wings sunk into his back, Ivan continued to heal, making sure the wounds wouldn't bleed and to make sure that Gilbert was comfortable. It was strange how Gilbert's wings worked, it was definitely some sort of magic because they literally disappear where they sink into his back, and his skin always healed back to normal where they erect from his body, but they leave scars and do need extra healing, but it was like his skin regenerated each time. It made Ivan curious about the magic used on Gilbert in those experiments, but he figured it didn't truly matter. 

Gilbert closed his eyes and actually leaned back, he fell into the other and caused Ivan to break the spell as he caught him. The Russian looked at him strangely and then hugged around the other's belly a little. "Take the rest of your clothes off." He said and then helped Gilbert stand properly. Gilbert gave him a weird look and Ivan couldn't help but blush a little. "I'm getting you out of here and I'd rather not be kidnapping the beautiful angel that everyone knows." He said with some embarrassed humor in his voice. He then began searching in the closet around them. Gilbert sighed softly, knowing that Ivan wasn't going to change his mind and pushed the dress down off of his hips, leaving him in what was only underneath the dress. Ivan turned around with a long trench coat, some baggy stage clothing, and an over-the-shoulder bag in his hands, and his jaw almost dropped when he saw Gilbert standing there nearly completely naked. 

"Don't look at me like that, pervert." Gilbert grumbled, looking to the side with a light tint of pink coloring his face.

Ivan chuckled nervously, the blush turning darker on his cheeks. "Sorry. At least they didn't make you wear women's underwear too. Nice booty shorts, though." He grinned a bit at how much his comment made the other blush. Under the dress, Gilbert was wearing nothing but what looked like short spandex exercise shorts that hugged his body tightly, which left  _ nothing _ up to the imagination. 

"Can I put something on  _ please _ ?" Gilbert asked, feeling uncomfortable and like he was on display, not to mention that he was getting cold. 

Ivan wouldn't complain if he got to see the other like this a bit longer, but maybe not locked in a closet. "Here's some clothing, just put it on and the trench coat as well." Ivan said, handing the clothing to Gilbert and then turning away and started looking again, and to give the albino some privacy. Once Gilbert was fully clothed again, Ivan returned to him and held a brown wig in his hand as he extended it to the albino. "Put this on as well, we don't need any staff recognizing you by your white hair." Gilbert groaned a little and took the wig and messily put it on. Ivan helped him by making sure all his white hair was tucked away. "There." He said and leaned down and began shoving the angel outfit into the bag he also found. "Find some shoes as well." He instructed, and Gilbert did as he was told and simply found a pair of ankle boots and slipped them on, not bothering to tie them properly. He stood back up and walked to Ivan, who looked at him and smiled softly. The Russian then buttoned Gilbert's coat up more and actually took his own scarf off and wrapped it around Gilbert's neck to cover most of his face with the white fabric. He then held out his hand for Gilbert, who hesitantly took it. "Shall we go now?" Ivan asked, to which Gilbert gave a slight nod.

The two walked from the closet after making sure the way was clear of people. Luckily the hall they were in was still deserted and they were able to easily get to the lobby of the theater where they could slip between the exiting and entering crowds of people. There were people talking about the play Gilbert was just in, and a teenage girl was talking to some of her friends, and Ivan and Gilbert couldn't help but over hear them as they passed and got stuck in a traffic jam of people.

"That girl was beautiful!" one of the girls beamed, "Her hair and complexion is fantastic~"

"Yeah, but did you see that kiss? It's like it was forced." Another, less amused girl said. 

"Poor girl, I bet the angel doesn't even love him but is being forced or something!"

"A hostage? Really, isn't that a little dark for a children's play?"

"Not if no one knows about it!"

The conversation went on but Ivan blocked it out. The talk made his eye twitch a little, but he felt Gilbert's hand squeeze his tightly as if telling him to ignore the conversation and to move faster. Ivan pushed his way through the crowds and harshly pushed the door of the theater open, dragging Gilbert out into the chilly mid-October air. Once outside, Gilbert was able to breathe easier but wasn't able to rest, as Ivan quickened his pace and tightened his grip on Gilbert's hand to the point that it felt like he was going to crush it. 

Neither of them said a single word the entire way home, just a crushing silence. Gilbert spent most of the walk back staring worriedly at the back of Ivan's head, while Ivan kept his pace quick and continued to squeeze Gilbert's hand tight.

.

.

"He  _ kissed _ you!?" Ivan asked angrily as he nearly threw Gilbert into his apartment, slamming the door shut and not bothering to turn the lights on.

Gilbert stumbled a bit as he was thrown and he turned to face the other, "I- I couldn't control what happened, remember!? Do you think I  _ wanted _ to kiss that old geezer!?" Gilbert yelled back, holding his hands defensively in front of his chest.

"You could have  _ tried _ to escape." Ivan growled and walked passed Gilbert to the couch, slumping down on it heavily and rubbing his temples. He was being unfair to Gilbert with this, but his judgment was clouded with anger.

"... I couldn't." Gilbert said, looking down.

"And why not?" 

"He--!" Gilbert stopped for a second and looked at Ivan, "He kept saying he would hurt you, remember!? And any other time I was tied down! I was locked in there!" he shouted, his eyebrows knitting together and he was biting his lower lip.

Ivan perked his head up and looked at the albino with nothing but angry concern. "What else did he do to you...?" Ivan asked.

"Not much..." Gilbert mumbled quietly. He was lying and Ivan could clearly see that he was. Ivan could see the fear and trouble etched onto the albino's face, and it forced him to remember his place and to calm down. 

The Russian sighed and pulled the string on a small lamp by the couch, filling the room with a dim light. He patted the cushion next to him, a silent gesture for the other to come to him. "Come sit with me, I want to hear everything, that way I can start erasing it." He said. Gilbert hesitated and slowly went to the couch, sitting with his legs pulled up to his side. Ivan immediately wrapped one arm around Gilbert's shoulder and pulled him closer, causing the albino to fall into the larger man's chest. Ivan reached up and gently pulled the brown wig off of Gilbert's head with his free hand. "I like your white hair better." He said and rubbed his thumb along Gilbert's cheek gently, smiling adoringly. 

Gilbert's face lit up a bright pink and his eyes blinked frantically. Ivan was just inches from him and he was back to being that sweet man that he used to be. The gesture and words caught Gilbert off guard and he was unsure of what to do, and found himself staring at the Russian rather stupidly.

"Though, we should get this make-up washed off first." He said. Gilbert nodded a bit and looked down, looking sad. Ivan grabbed onto Gilbert's hand and pulled him up as he stood up from the couch, and he held his hand firmly in his as he walked down the hall.

The Russian took the other male to the bathroom and motioned for him to sit on the toilet seat, he complied and sat silently while Ivan ran the water to warm it and fetched a cloth. "I want you to tell me everything, okay? I want to know how bad I get to hurt Mallory." 

"Why?" Gilbert asked suddenly.

Ivan turned his head to Gilbert as he wrung the cloth of excess water. "Why what?"

"Why do you care what he did to me?" 

Ivan's eyes widened a little and he turned his entire body to the albino and looked him straight in the eye. "Why do  _ you _ care what he would have done to  _ me _ ?" he asked as well, which caused Gilbert to swallow his saliva and look away. "You stayed there even though you were clearly being beaten and abused and forced into using your wings, and all because you didn't want me to get hurt. I'm someone you hated at first, someone who scared you by not respecting your space, someone who you didn't hesitate to put a blade to the throat of." He said and began unraveling the scarf that he let Gilbert borrow and pulled it off, and then began unbuttoning Gilbert's coat and sliding it off for him. Surprisingly, Gilbert didn't protest and just sat there looking ashamed. Ivan continued on and began rubbing the cloth against Gilbert's cheeks. "I don't deserve the respect you've given me, and I don't understand why you care so much." He washed the cloth after a while when the pinkish blush make-up covered most of it and wetted it again to wash it off. He brought it back to Gilbert's face but was suddenly stopped by a pale hand gently gripping his wrist loosely. Ivan looked down at him with curious eyes, asking what he was doing. 

"You helped me, even though I pushed you away and was a jerk to you. You still tried even after you saw all my flaws; that's more than anyone's ever done for me. You even came to the theater and got me out..." Gilbert said. "At first, I was scared that you would be like Mallory was, or that girl I lived with, but you're not at all. I guess I just wanted to return the favor." Gilbert said and let go of Ivan's wrist, but still avoided eye-contact.

Ivan suddenly held Gilbert's chin between his finger and thumb and forced the albino to look up at him. "We have to stop this 'repaying game' that we're caught in, Gilbert, or else we're just going to keep running in circles. You saved me, I saved you. Can't we just call it even and not have to feel like we owe each other?" Ivan smiled softly with traces of hope in his eyes. And Gilbert just stared at him, not really sure what to say. Ivan chuckled at the silence and suddenly began wiping at Gilbert's eyes to get the light gray eye shadow off. "They really made you up, didn't they?" he joked lightly, "I didn't notice how much make-up they put on you." 

"Yeah. I need a bath to wash that place off." Gilbert groaned a bit. 

"You can take one tomorrow, alright? I want you to eat something and relax for now." Ivan said. "I'd also like to look at your injuries; I'm guessing Mallory didn't even attempt to help you."

Gilbert shook his head silently, "Made them worse, actually." He said, and then let out a defeated little chuckle, "I don't easily accept being kidnapped and held against my will, so, I gave him hell." Gilbert said.

The comment made Ivan chuckle lightly; it was nice to see that even though Gilbert had a rough week, he still had a bit of that spunky attitude in him.

"Of course..." the albino started again, "I gave in when he started threatening to hurt you if I refused anymore." 

Ivan's smile turned sad. He wasn't sure what to say, so he lifted his hand to place it on the back of Gilbert's head, and he leaned down to give the albino a kiss on his forehead. He whispered softly against his skin, "I won't let him hurt you anymore." He said and pulled back to look at the other man. "Honestly I should have been more careful. I knew that Mallory wanted a creature with wings, or a mermaid."

"Oh he got one." Gilbert said matter-of-factly. Ivan gave the other a strange look, and Gilbert sighed, "A mermaid. She was another one being held at the theater like me. Said that she was captured a few dozen miles up the coast, apparently there's a family of them living up there."

"She can live out of water?" Ivan asked.

"Not for long, but she was usually chained in a tank. She was nice though." Gilbert gave a soft sigh, "Mallory is... meaner, than you think." He said.

Ivan noticed the complete look of dread on Gilbert's face. "We don't have to talk about him right now." He said and placed his hands on Gilbert shoulders. "I'll go get you some of my clothes for you to wear and then I'll make dinner, and you can just relax, okay?" he said, smiling hopefully. 

Gilbert gave the other a silent stare for a few seconds before nodding. Ivan smile turned brighter and he quickly left the bathroom to get Gilbert some better clothing. 

Gilbert sat there and twiddled his fingers together as he waited for the other to return. He glanced around the familiar bathroom and began to remember how comforting Ivan's apartment was. His eyes trailed around and then landed on the Russian's white scarf that was twisted into a messy pile on the sink top. Gilbert pondered for a moment before reaching out and grabbing it, and he swung it around his neck and let the arms of the scarf lay down over his chest. He brought his hands up and clenched the fabric and pushed it up to his face. It was soft and warm, and smelled like Ivan. Gilbert's eyes closed and he leaned back a little, and simply enjoyed the silence. He really liked the scarf, and he believed that because it's Ivan's, he liked wearing it. 

The Russian stopped just outside the bathroom and looked in. He saw Gilbert sitting there in silence, his eyes closed and his hands holding his scarf to his face. The sight made Ivan's face heat up, simply because it was just so damn adorable. He eventually walked in and announced his presence by clearing his throat. 

Gilbert snapped his eyes open and he blushed softly for being caught the way he was. "Ah, you're back." Gilbert mumbled.

"You're wearing my scarf again." Ivan said and set the clothing on the sink top.

The albino paused for a second. "I like it. It reminds me of you." He admitted. The comment made Ivan's face turn a brighter red and he turned his head, but it didn't go unnoticed by Gilbert. "You're blushing. It's cute." He said with a tiny smile. 

Ivan stuttered over his words, but he eventually got a sentence out. "Here are your clothes, they'll be a little big on you but we'll solve your clothing problem later."

Gilbert tilted his head curiously, "Hm... if I ask you to help me get dressed, will you?" he asked, his eyes showing a bit of anticipation.

The question made Ivan's heart beat a little faster, but he nodded and tried to ignore the heat he was feeling on his cheeks. "Yeah, of course I will." Ivan smiled a little at the albino and suddenly he stood up from his seat. 

Gilbert unwrapped the scarf from his neck. "I want to wear this again." He said as he pulled it up over his head. "Can I?" he asked, his hair messily sticking up this way and that. He slid his feet out of his ankle boots and literally kicked them to the side.

"Sure, of course." Ivan said, nodding.

Gilbert stood there for a moment just staring at the other, waiting for Ivan to begin. After too long, Gilbert raised an eyebrow at the other. "Well? What are you waiting for?" he asked.

Ivan gasped softly and apologized, and he took a hesitant step forward toward Gilbert. Ivan gently gripped the bottom of the shirt that Gilbert was wearing; he glanced up to the albino's face to check for even the slightest sign of discomfort, and once he was sure that the slightly irritated look in Gilbert's eyes was a sign that he was getting annoyed at how long Ivan was taking, he carefully dragged the fabric up his torso. As he did, Gilbert lifted his arms so that the shirt would easily slide up over his head. The Russian couldn't stop his eyes from snapping down to look at the pale stomach and chest that was soon revealed completely. 

Ivan paused for a moment to look at Gilbert. The albino's hair was even messier after removing the shirt, and Ivan thought Gilbert looked simply adorable with messy hair. However, something soon sparked in the Russian's mind and he noticed something: Gilbert wasn't injured, well, not too badly anyway. He could walk and freely move all of his limbs, so why did he ask Ivan to help him?

Gilbert stood there with that same slightly irritated look still on his face. He was waiting for Ivan to continue, but it was clear that the Russian was hesitating to proceed. Ivan's a bit shy, Gilbert knew that, and he was also scared to touch Gilbert again after what happened, so Gilbert could understand his hesitation, but that's  _ why _ he was doing this; Gilbert wanted to test Ivan, to give him the full advantage to see if he would do anything again. Secretly though, a part of him just wanted to see if he still trusted Ivan.

After a moment, Ivan reached his hand down and prodded his fingers at the hem of Gilbert's loose pants. Gilbert mentally smiled a little since he didn't have to say anything to get the Russian to continue, but his heart began to beat slower and harder with a twinge of fear, but he fought that back and closed his eyes. That is, until Ivan pulled the pants down off of his hips. 

The pants fell down and bundled up around his ankles on the floor, and Ivan blushed darker as his eyes trailed up and down Gilbert's slim frame. The albino was still wearing those tight shorts and seeing Gilbert like this again sent a chill down his spine and began to give him a weird feeling in his lower belly.

It was shameful, and he felt bad for finding Gilbert attractive in this situation.

Gilbert swallowed any fear he had and stepped out of the rings of fabric at his feet and looked to the side. "Don't… don't take the shorts off, okay?" Gilbert asked nervously and placed his hands on his abdomen where the fabric and his skin met, as if he was hiding something. Ivan couldn't help but look at the albino's hands. He noticed that under them were marks, burns from the looks of it. Ivan was beginning to think that Gilbert wasn't shy about being naked, but rather embarrassed about Ivan seeing the scars under those shorts. 

The Russian obeyed Gilbert's wishes and he turned to retrieve the sweat pants he picked out for the albino. Leaning down the floor to let Gilbert step into them wasn't as awkward as lifting the pants up the smaller man's legs. Ivan was sure that his face was permanently stained a light pink from this. He never felt so nervous with a person's body before, but something about Gilbert was different. The emotional attachment was the reason why, he actually  _ cares _ about Gilbert.

After adjusting the hem of the pants around Gilbert's hips, Ivan gathered the shirt in his hands and he turned back to Gilbert. He stopped for a moment and blinked in confusion because Gilbert was smiling slightly and his eyes were soft and almost endearing. Ivan returned the smile and bluntly put the shirt over Gilbert's head as a little grin pulled his lips up. Gilbert stumbled back a little and reached up to pull the shirt down over his head so that he could see again, and when he could, Ivan was chuckling to himself and nearly grinning at him.

"Oh so you think you're funny, do ya?" Gilbert glared playfully as he slid his arms into the oversized shirt. 

"A little." Ivan nodded proudly and then ruffled Gilbert's hair a bit, "Come on, I'll make you some dinner and then you can sleep, we'll worry about everything else tomorrow." He said and turned away from the other. He walked to the doorway and suddenly stopped and placed his hand on the wooden frame outlining the door. "Oh, I almost forgot." Ivan said and walked back into the bathroom. He grabbed his scarf from the counter and turned back to Gilbert and threw it around the albino's neck, and made sure that it was snug around him. Gilbert's eyes softened a little and he blushed softly at the gesture, and he lowered his face a little into the scarf. Ivan simply smiled and took Gilbert's hand into his like it was a natural thing with them, and led the albino back to the living room.


	9. Chapter 9

He wasn't going to talk about it and he told himself that he wasn't even going to  _ think _  about it; but it was there in his mind, replaying over and over like a video on repeat that he couldn't shut off. He just couldn't get it out of his head no matter what he tried to think of to override it. Every little thing he did would make the image more vivid, even moving his body just an inch would trigger something familiar. He knew that his nightmares made him paranoid, but he didn't know that dreams like this would make him just as edgy; but it wasn't  _ just _  a dream, he always believed that dreams were made up of a person's innermost desires or fears, and for him it was always true, and that's what threw him off, because the dream he had was of Ivan, but he wasn't just  _ with _ him. Ivan was  _ inside _ of him. At least, that's what Gilbert thought anyway; it was hard to remember what the original dream actually consisted of since his mind continued it after he woke up, which made him blush and slam his face into his pillow and curl up like a Roly Poly. He remembered seeing Ivan lying on top of him, both of them naked and panting. Their bodies were joined practically at the hip with Ivan between Gilbert's legs and slowly moving in a steady rhythm. Gilbert was embarrassed to remember how his legs twitched and wrapped gently around the Russian's waist and how his nails clawed little red streaks down the larger man's back, and how his face was flushed red, eyes squeezed shut tight and his mouth gaping open as he panted out.

The dream was the closest that Gilbert has ever been to having sex, and he felt ashamed for having the dream but he couldn't stop his mind, nor did he really have any desire to stop it, from thinking about the Russian in such a carnal way. He didn't even know what Ivan looked like naked but the image of him in his dream seemed perfect. Above all else though, the fact that bothered him the most was not that he had this steamy dream in the first place, but rather that deep down he actually  _ liked _  it. He didn't believe that he did but when he started adding to the dream himself when he was fully conscious, he had that realization and that's what really bothered him.

'It was just a dream.' He told himself, 'A silly, stupid... sexy, dream.' He then groaned out loud and turned over on the couch to lie on his belly and buried his face into his pillow. This was getting ridiculous and he couldn't convince himself that he was just delusional from yesterday and how nice Ivan was to him and  _ that's _  what sparked the dream. Of course, Gilbert's little subconscious adventure created an annoying little question in his mind.

"Do I find him attractive?" he actually mumbled quietly into his pillow, his cheeks warming up to a light pink. Ivan was good-looking, any normal person with eyes and some common sense could see that. He's large but not fat, though he does have a little chubbiness to him; like a big teddy bear. His face looks so innocent and childlike, but he'd seen Ivan annoyed and upset, and hazed over with alcohol and a bit of lust, so that innocence comes and goes.

In conclusion: yes, Gilbert did find Ivan attractive, very much so, actually. That's dangerous though, since Gilbert was craving the Russian's attention and even his touch, he might try to get Ivan to touch him again, but... that wouldn't be all  _ too _ bad, would it? The two obviously care a lot for each other and the physical attraction is even more obvious now, so, what's the problem?

Oh yeah,  _ trust _ .

Gilbert's trust in Ivan was a tricky thing. He wanted to trust him but he didn't want to run that risk of getting hurt, but... Ivan wasn't going to hurt him. Ivan has seen Gilbert at his ugliest and still accepted him, so maybe it was time to give the Russian another chance.

The albino flipped himself over so that he was on his back and he stared up at the ceiling. The sun coming in through the windows gave him an indication that it was probably somewhere in the late morning or so, but he really didn't care if it was noon or 4am. He was just about to get up to stretch when he heard a door down the hall open, and he froze for a second and then quietly flipped himself around to peek over the armrest of the couch. Soon, Ivan came slumping down the hall tiredly, his ashy-blonde hair messy and curled horribly. He was dressed in his loose-fitting nightshirt and sweats and was somehow still attractive to Gilbert.

Ivan didn't notice Gilbert at first since he assumed that the albino would still be sound asleep, so he went straight to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Gilbert raised his body up a little and he leaned on the armrest with his arms crossed and his head leaning down on his forearm. "Good morning." The albino said, announcing that he was indeed conscious in a slightly sarcastic tone.

Ivan nearly flinched when he heard Gilbert's voice but he turned around, rubbing a hand into his messy hair as he smiled shyly at the other. "'Morning. I didn't think you'd be awake yet." He said.

"Me neither. I feel like I could sleep for another 12 hours too..." Gilbert said and moved his legs off the couch.

Ivan took a drink of his water, "Go back to sleep if you're tired then."

"Nah, I'm fine." Gilbert said. The albino was trying to act nonchalant, like he  _ didn't _  just have a dream of himself and the man in front of him having slow passionate sex and then added more details to said dream once he was awake. Ivan didn't notice the small blush on Gilbert's face and he seemed a bit distracted as well.

"Hey, you okay?" Gilbert asked, ignoring his stupidity for a moment to show some concern for the other.

Ivan smiled weakly and nodded, taking another drink and sitting at the breakfast bar in front of him. "I'm fine; it's just been a rough week. Not as rough as yours but still, last night was the first I've eaten and slept decently in a while." Ivan ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes, sighing heavily.

Gilbert was about to agree with the other, but when he saw Ivan run his hand through his hair, his voice caught in his throat and it became dry. He felt something tighten in his lower belly and he blushed softly; the sight reminded him of his dream. "Hey... can I take a bath now?" Gilbert asked, his voice sounding a bit anxious, and he was.

"Hm? Oh right, sure. Go ahead." Ivan said, nodding a bit. He was clearly unfocused as he took a few more gulps of his water. "Take your time; I'll just be out here. I'll probably make lunch in a little bit too." He said.

Gilbert nodded, said 'thank you' and then literally jumped up from the couch, and rushed off to the bathroom. Ivan watched him and thought it was a bit strange how the albino walked so quickly, he also noticed how just as Gilbert turned, he was able to see a soft pink glow on his cheeks.

.

Gilbert closed and locked the door of the bathroom behind him, flicking on the lights and then walking over to the tub. He instantly began fussing with the knobs on the tub and watched the water shoot down from the faucet and splatter against the white fiberglass bottom. He could feel his cheeks warming up to a nice rosy color now and he couldn't believe that something so simple as a gesture like that could get him so fired up.

He stripped himself of his clothing and knelt by the side of the tub, waiting impatiently for the water to fill to the brim. He hoped that taking a bath would release some of the stress he felt and clear his mind of that stupid dream he had, and also hopefully calm down that tightening feeling in his lower stomach.

Once the steamy warm water was near the top of the tub, Gilbert turned the knobs off and then stepped over the side. He lowered his body down into the water, and he relaxed in the bathtub, letting the water rise over his body and just letting the warmth soothe all of his kinks. He just wanted to stay like this forever. Warm, safe, no worries at all. Of course, the only reason he had any of this was because of Ivan.

Gilbert put his wet forearm over his eyes and sighed. 'I don't know what to do. I want to trust him... I just don't know why he's being so nice; he has no reason to anymore...' He growled weakly as he thought more, 'but still...' he lifted his arm up and looked at the ceiling. "I like him." He mumbled quietly and then sunk down into the water, covering the lower part of his face. 'Great.'

He glared an annoyed look at the ceiling as he came to this realization. 'Does he like me too? Is that why he's helping me so much?' he asked himself. 'No, impossible. He's been helping me since I dropped him back on his own two feet...'

The sudden realization of the possibility of Ivan liking him made Gilbert sit up quickly and grab the skinny shampoo bottle, he squirted some of it onto his hand and then began almost violently scrubbing the substance into his hair, he needed something to keep his mind from thinking more. Soon, he dropped down under the water to rinse it free of the suds, and then immediately began rubbing down his arms with some bar soap; though he really just did it so he would stop thinking and hopefully focus on something else other than his thoughts.

He leaned back against the side of the tub and slid his hands down his legs, and suddenly that image flashed across his mind again; the image of his legs wrapping around Ivan's waist and twitching slightly whenever the other would move. In response, he slapped his hands over his face and pulled his legs up to his chest like it was an attempt to block out the image but only made it worse. There is  _ no _  way he's getting this out of his memory.

The worst part was that he liked it and he wanted to know what it would really feel like. His dreamworld-self seemed to really enjoy it so it made him curious. Instead of the dream, Gilbert's mind began to wander to someplace else, to what it would feel like to just be touched by the other again. To have those lips grazing over his neck again, to have those hands rubbing his skin soothingly and... and to be kissed by him.

Funny how the first thing to usually happen between people in a relationship was the last thing he thought of doing with Ivan; and  _ oh _  how he was craving it now. He began to mesh all his thoughts together; the sex, the touching, and the kissing, and he started to actually squirm a little in the tub whenever he would feel that small throbbing feeling in his stomach. He was getting aroused just by the thought of Ivan. He glanced down at himself and swore out loud; he couldn't believe he was really in this position. He couldn't leave the bathroom like this, Ivan would notice instantly from either his face or his pants.

He slowly snaked his hand down his body until his fingers grazed against his member. He gasped softly and froze; he wasn't exactly used to touching himself since nothing had ever turned him on so much before. There were times when he was alone, but this was the cause of Ivan and it felt different, and maybe that was the reason why he was hesitant to do it. Slowly, he relaxed and began stroking up and down his shaft, sliding down into the tub more so he was up to his neck in the water. He quickly worked himself to a full erection and switched from stroking to pumping himself, and picked up his pace. He leaned his head back until it touched against the tile behind him and his legs parted out a little. He stopped his hand to gently pinch and squeeze at some areas that he knew were more sensitive than others, and his other hand came down to softly stroke the burn marks on his skin. He let out a quiet pleasured gasp which was followed by soft little pants, and he began biting his lower lip as he moved his hand back to pump himself even faster. He thought of Ivan in the next room, sitting there or maybe making lunch for two, and he felt like what he was doing was wrong, but then he thought of his dream and how Ivan would slowly-

He suddenly felt his groin spasm and he came quietly under the water. He sank down into the tub until the water was at his chin, sighing and panting a little still and his face flushed red. "Did... I really just do that...?" he breathed out to himself, feeling almost shocked that he got off simply on the thought of Ivan. However the evidence was in the water and he honestly felt glad about that; he could just wash this all away and forget it even happened.

He got out of the tub and drained the water, making sure that everything was clean just like it was before he used it. He quickly tumble-dried his hair and brushed it out a little so it looked decent and then redressed. His hand shook a bit before he gripped the handle of the door, his face was still a bit red and he had to take a few deep breaths to fully calm himself down.

He left the bathroom and he instantly smelled something delicious. After walking down the hall he quickly spotted Ivan at the little table in the kitchen area of the apartment with plates of food already set out and prepared nicely for them both.

"Have a nice bath?" Ivan asked, smiling softly at the other, completely oblivious to what Gilbert had just done. Gilbert simply nodded and tried to avoid looking at the Russian's face. He didn't want to talk about his conversation with himself in the bathroom, his dream, or the fact that he just had an orgasm in Ivan's bathtub. Gilbert's view of Ivan had shifted almost instantly. Yesterday he was a savior and he always seemed like a friend, but now... now Gilbert was looking at him like he wanted him to be more. It was strange but he couldn't deny that he thought about Ivan a lot, even after he left here and every day at the theater, the Russian was always on his mind for one reason or another.

Ivan blinked curiously at Gilbert, who took a seat at the breakfast bar with his back turned to the Russian and completely ignored the fact that food was ready for him. Ivan stood up quietly and went next to the other male. "Are you okay, Gilbert?" he asked, suddenly right by the albino's side.

Gilbert twitched a little when he heard Ivan's voice so close to his ear. "Yeah, I'm fine, just tired." He said, and it wasn't entirely a lie.

The Russian smiled and ruffled Gilbert's hair playfully. "You can go back to sleep if you want." He said. Gilbert shifted his body uncomfortably when he felt Ivan's hand on his head; he couldn't help it, it was a natural reaction that he had after what just happened.

Ivan removed his hand from Gilbert and his face became a bit concerned. "Are you sure you're okay? You seem a little jumpy." He said.

"Yes I'm fine." Gilbert nearly growled. "I'm just... stressed out, from everything that's happened, y'know?"

Ivan sighed softly and took a seat next to Gilbert, "Why don't you eat and then we'll go out shopping, maybe picking out some stuff will take your mind off of it?" Ivan suggested and rested himself on his arms, leaning a bit toward the edgy albino.

He thought about it for a moment, and Gilbert agreed that maybe getting out and doing something to try to erase that image was a good idea. Still, he'd be with Ivan so he'll still have that reminder, but he hoped that once he could breathe some fresh air, he would forget about it.

Gilbert glanced over at Ivan, who was still giving him a concerned look. The gaze pulled at Gilbert's heart; he didn't like Ivan being so worried when Gilbert was just being fussy and stupid over something that, in reality, probably wasn't even a big deal for them.

"Yeah, we can go shopping." Gilbert said and tried his best to smile.

.

The smile apparently worked, and Ivan, quite forcibly, told Gilbert to eat. After their lunch, Ivan scurried to his room and dressed in some casual clothing, and also offered Gilbert some better clothing that fit him, and then literally dragged the poor albino man out of his apartment after letting him borrow one of his coats and of course letting him wear his white scarf.

Just as they were standing at the top of the stairs, a woman's voice called out Ivan's name, and the Russian literally cringed so visibly that Gilbert actually thought he was in pain from the sound. Gilbert turned to face the direction of the voice. A tall brunette woman was walking toward them with a bright smile that seemed to be beaming with happiness.

"Ivan, hello~!" she hummed and literally walked right passed Gilbert and stood by Ivan. Gilbert realized instantly by the tired expression that the Russian had that this woman was probably an admirer that he didn't exactly care about.

"Hello, again." The Russian greeted her. If one can call that a greeting.

"It's nice to see you up and about now and feeling better." she said as she smiled with relief. The comment made Gilbert look at the woman and he was reminded of how Ivan was depressed while he was gone. It made him sad that Ivan's depression was so obvious that even this random chick could see it.

The woman turned her head slightly and she somehow  _ just _  realized that Gilbert was standing there. Her eyes widened a bit, "Oh... you must be Ivan's friend that was staying with him. I didn't know you were back." Gilbert sensed a bit of jealousy in the woman's voice and he couldn't keep his eyes from narrowing into the tiniest glare he could manage.

"Ah... um, Ms. Smith, this is Gilbert." Ivan suddenly intervened once he noticed the increasingly awkward stare the two others were caught in. "Gilbert, this is... um..."

"I'm Mandy!" She beamed and suddenly took both of Gilbert's hands into hers, causing him to lose balance and fall a little toward her. "And you, you are just  _ adorable _  aren't you?" she giggled, a soft blush showing on her cheeks.

Gilbert stared speechlessly at her, not sure how to even process such a blatant compliment. "Uh. T-Thanks, I guess."

Mandy smiled softly, "I might just have to take you out to dinner sometime~" she said, adding a not-so-subtle wink at the end.

"Uh, sorry, but I'm not, um..." Gilbert was completely lost on how to react to such a hyper person; he was used to Ivan being pretty mellow and not so bouncy and crazy.

Mandy's excited expression was suddenly replaced with one a bit more shockingly surprised. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were gay." She apologized and quickly let go of the albino's hands and smiled nervously.

"What? No- I, no that's not-" Gilbert stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder suddenly pull him closer to Ivan.

"Mandy please stop harassing my boyfriend." The Russian said nonchalantly. Gilbert's eyes snapped right up to Ivan's and his expression was screaming ' _ what the hell are you doing!? _ ' at him. Ivan didn't reply but gave an exhausted glance down at the albino, hoping he would just stay quiet and go with it for now.

"Boyfriend...?" Mandy repeated and then glanced from Ivan's face down to Gilbert's like she was utterly confused. "I guess that would explain why you're always turning me down, but I thought you two were- ... ah never mind, you two looked like you were heading out, so I-I'll just be on my way then." The woman stuttered and turned away, mumbling a few goodbyes as she walked off.

Once the woman was out of sight, Ivan let go of Gilbert's shoulder and leaned his back against the wall and sighed heavily.

"Your  _ boyfriend _ ?" Gilbert questioned, crossing his arms over his chest and looking a bit upset.

"I'm sorry." Ivan apologized and gave a weak smile. "I thought maybe she would leave us both alone if I said that." He said.

"Well it  _ obviously _  worked, but don't you think she'll be asking about us now? Not to mention that she seems like the type who'll go blabbing to the entire town, so I hope you realize that you basically just turned yourself gay." Gilbert said, and sighed irritatingly. Under his annoyance was a deep innermost desire that maybe Ivan was indeed gay and that he really  _ did _  want Gilbert as his own; but that was his thoughts from earlier talking.

"I'm sorry, and I dragged you down with it too, so as long as you're here, people will probably expect us to do couple things..."

Gilbert glanced away from the Russian, "Don't we act that way already? I might as well be your boyfriend." The comment came out in an annoyed tone but behind the annoyance was a hinted want.

Ivan glanced over to Gilbert and smiled softly, "That's very sweet, but I won't give you that title unless we both want it." He said. "Anyway, we should get going. We're walking to town; we both need some exercise and fresh air." Ivan said and then pushed himself off of the wall and started down the stairs. Gilbert huffed and pouted a little but nonetheless followed his Russian friend down and out of the building.

.

It was really nice to walk the streets and breathe fresh air without having to worry. With Ivan by his side, nothing could touch him. However since the walk was quiet and Ivan was walking a bit ahead of Gilbert, the albino's mind went right back to where it was before. He really hated it, but now he actually  _ has  _ some hope for it to be a reality. Ivan had shown signs of liking him, so wouldn't he want to be more than friends with Gilbert?

These thoughts were getting out of control, so Gilbert decided that it would be best if he just stopped and tried his hardest to focus on something else. Of course that was  _ incredibly _  hard.

Ivan took Gilbert too another clothing store to let him pick out some more clothing. He noticed that the albino was quieter than usual. Ever since this morning he had been acting a bit strange and that whole run in with Mandy seemed to make it worse. What if Gilbert was still mad at Ivan for what he did? Was he still scared of him? Did he freak him out by calling him his boyfriend earlier? Gilbert didn't seem too upset about it before but maybe it was sinking in and he was avoiding Ivan now.

Gilbert walked through the store without Ivan, literally walking feet ahead of him and purposely ignoring him whenever Ivan called his name and simply acted like he didn't hear him. At the checkout line, Gilbert put his clothes onto the counter and looked away, and Ivan got the hint that he was supposed to pay, even though it was obvious that he would anyway. It just bugged him how Gilbert was acting suddenly.

The two walked out of the store together, and Ivan finally worked up some courage to ask the albino something. "Gilbert," he said to catch the other's attention, which it didn't. "Would you like to go get some ice cream again?" he asked.

Gilbert turned his head a little to look at the other, he knew that what he was doing was extremely rude but he just couldn't help it. He sighed a little, "Yeah, sure." He said finally.

Ivan smiled a little since he finally got an answer out of the albino, and he began walking again.

The Russian, instead of getting bowls like before, he decided to go to an actual grocery store and buy two tubs of ice cream that he could take home. He let Gilbert pick out one, and the albino took a while to choose but Ivan didn't care, he was just glad that Gilbert was starting to talk a bit more and seem normal again. In the end they ended up with chocolate and strawberry, since Gilbert really enjoyed his flavor before, he wanted that same type again. Also while at the store, Ivan bought Gilbert some more kiwi since the man literally emptied his stock of them, which made Gilbert a little happier too.

.

Back home, Ivan set his bags on the kitchen counter while Gilbert threw his own on the couch and slumped down next to them. On the way home Gilbert had gone back to his quiet ways and it was starting to bother Ivan to the point of irritation. They were out for hours and barely said a word to each other.

Ivan continued to put everything away, and once he was done he sighed and decided to just face the problem head on. He walked over to the couch and moved Gilbert's bags onto the floor and took a seat next to him. Gilbert gave him a weird look, as he thought the action seemed a bit rushed and even angry.

Suddenly Ivan just looked over to Gilbert, "I want you to tell me what happened with Mallory." He said. "Don't leave anything out either."

Gilbert blinked a few times and then leaned his cheek into his palm and glanced off to the side. "He was one of the scientists who helped with the experiments a long time ago. I didn't even know he was in town." He said, he was being completely honest, though he said it very nonchalantly. Ivan glared a little; more annoyed by Gilbert's attitude than the facts he was just given. "I guess he gave up looking for me after I escaped, until he heard that some weird albino was living with an ex-employee, so I guess you can figure the rest out." He said.

"That's it?" Ivan asked.

"Aside from the basic torture and captivity at the theater, yeah pretty much." Gilbert said. Honestly, he wasn't as upset about the situation with Mallory anymore.

Ivan felt his patience snap and he quickly stood up from the couch, causing Gilbert to look up at him. "What has gotten into you today?" he asked, his voice rising in irritation. "You've been ignoring me all day and now  _ this _ ? I don't know if I did something to bother you but if I did, please tell me. Just don't ignore me and then act like I can't even tell what you're doing." He huffed a bit and took a breath. He didn't mean to lash out at Gilbert, but he's just had enough of his attitude.

The albino sat there staring up at the other, blinking in confusion and even a bit of fear. "I'm not ignoring you..." he said quietly, turning his head away. Even he knew that he was lying; he went out of his way to ignore Ivan.

"Really? When you were shopping for clothes you went off without me and even when I called your name you ignored me several times. I even tried to help you pick stuff out but you just shrugged it off and walked away. You didn't look at me at all and the only time that you talked to me was when I asked you what you wanted at the other store." He explained and Gilbert sunk down in his seat a little. Gilbert felt a rising sense of guilt in his gut; he knew he was avoiding Ivan but he didn't expect him to get so upset. Honestly he should have known better, of course Ivan was going to get upset. "I understand if you're upset or need some space but at least  _ tell _  me so I don't think you hate me, or if you do hate me just tell me now and I'll leave you alone." Ivan's voice was more sad than angry now, and Gilbert's guilt was beating him up more than ever.

Gilbert kept his eyes away from Ivan and took a breath. "It's not you, you didn't do anything wrong..." he mumbled. He mentally swore when he felt his cheeks heating up a bit.

"Then-" Ivan sat down next to Gilbert, closer than before. "Maybe I can help, maybe if I know what's going on I-"

"You can't, alright!?" Gilbert snapped, "This is my own problem, so just leave it alone!" he tried to move closer to the edge of the couch but he was already pressed against the armrest. His face quickly turned a rosy shade of red and felt like his cheeks were on fire; this conversation had reminded him fully of what his problem was and now his heart was beating faster.

Ivan leaned forward a bit so he could try to see Gilbert's face, but the albino was hell-bent on keeping it from his sight. He could see part of his face due to his short hair, and he noticed that his skin was red, but his suspicions were confirmed when the albino's ears began to redden as well.

"Gilbert, please tell me what's going on, I'm worried..." he said quietly, pleading for the other to talk to him about what was wrong. Even if he couldn't help, he wanted to at least share the burden with him, to let him know that someone is here for him if he needs them.

Gilbert was silent, thinking not about if he was going to actually talk, but rather about how he could tell Ivan in the most subtle way possible. He turned his body a little so he was sitting straight with the couch, Ivan saw how he was biting the inside of his bottom lip, his eyebrows pulled together as well. Ivan thought it strange to see Gilbert so flustered and at a loss.

Gilbert brought his hands together in his lap, a movement that Ivan followed intensely with his eyes, and twiddled his fingers around nervously as he gazed down at them. "I... I uh.." he stuttered out, trying to find his words. "I had a dream about you." He mumbled.

Ivan leaned a bit closer out of curiosity. "A dream? What was it about?" he asked, tilting his head a little to see Gilbert's face.

"Sex." Gilbert said bluntly, and instantly felt his stomach tighten. However, from beside him he felt Ivan move backward a little.

"I see..." Ivan said, his own face turning a light pink at the mental image.

"I'm sorry, I know it's weird and I wasn't going to tell you but you asked, so..." Gilbert mumbled quickly.

"No no, it's okay Gilbert, you don't need to apologize." Ivan said and placed a hand on Gilbert's shoulder, which caused the albino to flinch to the side a little. "I'm sorry. But really, it's okay, I'm not upset or anything and you shouldn't feel embarrassed."

Gilbert turned his head to look at the other, his face clearly showing that he needed some reassurance in this matter. "Really, you don't find it weird at all?"

Ivan shook his head, "Well, maybe a bit, but I won't let it bother me or think less of you." Gilbert's eyes widened when Ivan said that, and he looked back down at his hands. "Was that it, or is there more...?" Ivan asked and subtly let his hand graze down Gilbert's back a little.

The touch made the albino shiver slightly but he instantly gave into the warmth coming from Ivan's palm. "There... was one other thing..."

"Oh?" Ivan said, and began to gently rub his hand up and down Gilbert's back as if urging the albino to continue.

"I... earlier, in the bath..." Gilbert turned his face away from Ivan, "I got off just thinking about the dream."

Ivan's hand stopped instantly, but still rested against the albino's back. Ivan's face lit a dark red, and was darker than Gilbert's now. "Well... still, it's alright." He said and smiled softly. Gilbert looked over at him, completely baffled. The albino was shocked to see that Ivan looked incredibly embarrassed. Well, who  _ wouldn't _  be embarrassed?

After a moment, Gilbert growled a little and then shifted away from Ivan. "No! It's  _ not _  okay at all!" he retorted.

Ivan blinked in shock when he saw how upset Gilbert was, "I don't understand... Gilbert, why are you so upset about this?" he asked.

The albino groaned out and placed his head in his hands and tried to calm himself down before he starts yelling and says something to make Ivan upset. "Lately... I've been having thoughts, pretty much all day, and I'm... I'm starting to want you to touch me again..." he mumbled ashamedly.

Ivan blinked a few more times but then smiled. Gilbert really is adorable, and his blunt honesty was one of the things that the Russian liked most about him. Ivan suddenly scooted closer to the other and started moving his hand again. He felt Gilbert tense up under his palm and the Russian realized why Gilbert was so upset about this entire thing: he wasn't actually that embarrassed, but rather he was scared.

"Gilbert... I'm not sure how to say this so I'll do what you do and just be as blunt as possible, but, I want to touch you too." Ivan admitted with a small sigh, letting his hand travel down Gilbert's back and watching how the albino's body shifted a little as he did so. "But I'm scared that I'll do something wrong and scare you off again, or that you're just seeking comfort to forget about Mallory and everything else."

Gilbert turned his head a little to look at Ivan. "I'm worried too and... I'm not just seeking comfort; I really did like what you did before but I was just a little scared that you wanted to do more..." Gilbert explained.

Ivan sighed quietly, "I  _ did _  want more." he said, "I wanted to kiss you and I wanted to touch your body just to see how it feels, and I wanted to touch those beautiful wings of yours too." The Russian admitted, leaning his forehead against Gilbert's shoulder and sighing heavily, hoping that he wasn't scaring Gilbert again. He had never felt such a strong attraction to someone both mentally and physically, and he was shy to touch him but he wanted it so bad.

Gilbert blushed softly and smiled a little, "You really like those things, don't you?" Gilbert asked a bit jokingly to hide his embarrassment.

"Well, they're a part of you aren't they? So of course I like them." Ivan said with a little smile and subtly nuzzled his head into the other's shoulder. "Mmm, Gilbert? What should we do then?" he asked quietly.

The albino smiled softly and then turned a little, causing Ivan to move so he didn't fall off of Gilbert's shoulder. Gilbert turned so that he was facing Ivan and he looked him straight in the eye, which caught the Russian off guard a little. Gilbert's eyes seemed so sincere and he hadn't even said anything yet.

"We both want you to touch me, so... as long as you're not too forward about it, you can." Gilbert said.

Ivan's eyes widened a bit and his cheeks felt a bit warmer. "You're serious?" he asked, and Gilbert simply nodded, officially giving Ivan permission. Ivan then smiled softly, almost lovingly, and carefully glided his hand up Gilbert's side as a little test. Gilbert simply shifted his body and watched Ivan's hand as it slipped under his T-shirt.


	10. Chapter 10

Gilbert twitched a little when Ivan's fingers touched against his skin. The touch was cold but as Ivan pressed his palm to the albino's side the cold quickly melted into a warmth that Gilbert had come to love and crave. Ivan smiled when he heard Gilbert breathe out a contented sigh through slightly parted lips, and he looked up at the other male, Gilbert's eyes were closed and his face was broadcasting just how much he was enjoying the simple touch. It was surprising to Ivan, he knew that Gilbert enjoyed his touch just based on their previous encounter, but it felt different this time, there wasn't any hesitation on Gilbert's part and he himself wasn't drunk like before; everything was clear and focused and it was all about Gilbert, who was simply sitting there and taking whatever Ivan gave him and was enjoying it thoroughly. It made the Russian happy though, to see that he could have this effect on someone, and the fact that it was Gilbert -someone who actually liked him- made him even happier.

After a moment of just admiring the albino's porcelain-like face, the Russian slid his hand up, following the curve of the other's side until he reached the underside of his arm and was restricted by the baggy shirt that Gilbert was wearing. He gently groped at Gilbert's side, softly squeezing the man's ribs. It was sad how easily Ivan could feel Gilbert's ribcage; he would have to fatten him up a little soon before he got too unhealthy.

Gilbert blinked his eyes open and looked at Ivan; the look that the Russian was wearing was sweet, soft, gentle and full of love and adoration. Gilbert liked this soft side of Ivan, it made him feel safe. 

Gilbert suddenly leaned forward, letting his head rest gently into Ivan's shoulder. The action made the Russian remove his hand just in case, as he wasn't quite sure what the action meant. "Are you okay?" he asked, wanting to make sure he hadn't bothered the other already.

Gilbert nodded slowly and brought his hands up to Ivan's shirt, gripping on gently and pulling himself a little closer to the Russian. In his own cute way, this was him telling Ivan that he was fine, and that he loved this little moment they were having.

Ivan smiled sweetly and wrapped one arm around Gilbert's lower back, pulling the man closer to him. The position they were sitting in on the couch called for a strange and uncomfortable way of hugging but the two somehow made it work. The Russian pressed his face into the mess of hair under his chin and inhaled the scent of the other. Gilbert had a unique smell, and he thought maybe it was a mix between his own and the fresh air outside, it also had a hint of the fruity smelling shampoo as well. It was relaxing and it made Ivan want to cuddle close to the albino and never let him go.

He breathed in and then let out a sigh, tightening his grip on the albino as Gilbert nuzzled his body closer. Ivan brought his free hand up to the back of Gilbert's head and slid it into his hair, gently running his fingers through the white locks. The action made Gilbert shiver, and Ivan thought it was adorable how Gilbert snuggled closer to him when he did.

"Hey, Gilbert...?" Ivan started, rubbing some of the albino's hair between his thumb and index finger. Gilbert moved back a little so that he could look up at the Russian, his expression curious. "Can I kiss you?" Ivan asked shyly, a small blush showing on his cheeks. Gilbert blushed softly too, but after a second of imagining it and realizing that he could  _ actually _ have it, he nodded and nuzzled his head back into Ivan's chest.

The Russian leaned his head down so that his lips were near the albino's ear, which pulled another tiny shiver from the other. Ivan got an idea that Gilbert's ears were sensitive, which could be something else he could explore later if the albino was willing. He gently moved Gilbert back as he still cuddled onto him, gently pressing his lips to the pale skin of Gilbert's cheek and moving down along his jaw before he got to the corner of his mouth. Gilbert tensed up a little and Ivan noticed it immediately.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ivan asked. Gilbert didn't reply verbally, but instead his only response was to give Ivan a soft kiss to his jaw, as a way of saying "yes". The little kiss made Ivan blush, but he slid both of his hands up to cup Gilbert's face gently and made the albino look at him. They were both blushing a soft shade of pink and their eyes full of anticipation.

So without wasting another moment, Ivan tilted his head down a little more, slowly and softly pressing his lips against Gilbert's. Gilbert nearly twitched away because of how his heartbeat changed for a split second, but Ivan had his face in his hands and he honestly didn't want to move. Ivan pulled back just slightly to make sure that the albino was alright since he did feel the other tense up a little, and once Ivan noticed how Gilbert looked like he was waiting for another kiss, Ivan once again reconnected their lips with a bit more force than the first, but he still maintained the gentleness as to not frighten the albino. Gilbert's eyes slid shut as Ivan moved his lips against his own with slow caution; Ivan was waiting to see if the albino would freeze up or tell him to stop, but he did no such thing. Gilbert leaned his weight into Ivan and almost purposely pressed his lips to the others more. Gilbert was actually pulling Ivan closer to him and moving his lips more than the Russian was. Ivan wasn't even the one doing the kissing anymore, Gilbert had taken it into his own hands, though whether he meant to or not wasn't really important. However, maybe it was a good thing that Gilbert was the one doing the kissing, that way he can decide his own limits rather than waiting for Ivan to cross them.

Ivan pulled away for a moment to breathe while Gilbert looked a bit disappointed. Ivan smiled a little at how adorable and pouty the albino looked, so he leaned in and stole a quick playful kiss from the other male. He didn't think that Gilbert would retaliate much so the annoyed huff he received from the albino was expected, however when Gilbert suddenly lifted his body and moved his legs so that he was now straddling the Russian on the couch, Ivan's eyes widened in shock and his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Gilbert was kneeling on the couch with his knees on both sides of Ivan's waist; he wasn't actually sitting on the other [yet] but his lips were pulled into the tiniest smirk as he looked down at the Russian. Ivan blushed brighter and looked up at the albino in confusion.

"It's not nice to steal, jerk." Gilbert said and leaned down so that their noses were just barely touching. He gave a slow kiss to the Russian's lips, the action full of tenderness, and pulled away. Gilbert looked into Ivan's eyes, and he felt his heart skip another beat. The way those liquid purple pools were staring at him made him feel like he was the only thing in existence. Suddenly, like something snapped in his brain, Gilbert pressed his lips back against Ivan's and instantly brought the other into a kiss more vigorous than the previous. Ivan was completely taken off-guard by it but after a moment of staring blankly at the other, he soon returned the kiss with just as much passion than Gilbert was bringing. The two moved in longer paces than before, taking their time and thoroughly enjoying, memorizing, and massaging the other's lips. For a moment Ivan let Gilbert do as he pleased, but Ivan soon wanted to pick up the pace and unfortunately for Gilbert, Ivan has experience with kissing so Gilbert's dominance was soon pushed back into an adorable submission. Though Gilbert didn't entirely mind, he practically liked being dominated by Ivan; he craved his attention after all, and now every bit of that attention and affection was focused into the kiss and Gilbert loved every second of it.

Ivan pulled back, his cheeks flushed a healthy pink, and Gilbert was even redder and even letting out tiny little huffs of air. The Russian nuzzled his nose into the albino's cheek and smiled softly, wrapping his arms around the smaller man's lower back and holding him there. Gilbert's legs were beginning to shake from holding his weight up, and Ivan noticed and felt it.

"Why don't you sit...?" he asked, looking up at the flustered albino.

With a small nod, Gilbert slowly lowered himself and sat down right on Ivan's lap. Ivan was a little embarrassed about the position, but it would allow the two to be closer so he didn't care, and Gilbert willingly put himself there so that meant that he was fine with it as well.

"Can I continue touching you?" Ivan asked and slid a hand around to Gilbert's side where he had previously been touching.

Gilbert nodded once again and smiled a little, shifting his body so he was positioned more comfortably, and he kept his hands holding onto the front of Ivan's shirt. Ivan slipped his hand back under Gilbert's shirt and apologized when he felt the albino shiver from the cold. He pressed his palm firmly to the skin and then lifted, sliding his hand up Gilbert's side, he moved his hand around the shape of Gilbert's body and grazed it up his back, stopping when his palm was directly over one of the scars on the albino's shoulder blades where his wings would extend. The Russian gave a few soft rubs to the skin there, and Gilbert sighed in content, leaning his torso against Ivan's chest. It felt like he was getting a massage, a  _ really _ good one, and Ivan smiled at the reaction.

Although the interaction was nice, Ivan was becoming increasingly annoyed with Gilbert's baggy shirt, actually it was Ivan's shirt that Gilbert was wearing from earlier; he was still wearing Ivan's scarf too. He slid his hand out from under the fabric and gripped the edges of it and lifted it a little. "Can you take this off?" he asked. He didn't expect Gilbert to actually do it, so when the albino nodded a little and leaned back, Ivan was shocked and surprised. The albino first unraveled Ivan's white scarf from his neck and set it beside them on the couch, and then he reached down to grab the edges of the shirt and with a little bit of expected hesitation he began to lift it up, his back arching a little as he did so; Ivan's hands instantly found their way to the revealed bare skin of Gilbert's lower back. Gilbert soon pulled the shirt up over his head and slid it down his arms, and then tossed it next to them on the couch near the scarf.

Ivan took a moment to just gaze from Gilbert's collarbones down to his navel in awe. Ivan was attracted to him but the sight was saddening. His body still had pale bruises on it from when he was at the theater, and then there was that X-shaped scar in the center of his chest. One could clearly see his ribs as well. He looked unhealthy and beaten and it made Ivan want to hurt everyone that's ever wronged Gilbert in any way. Gilbert noticed the look that Ivan was giving him- well, his body actually. The albino knew that Ivan felt sad and angry upon seeing the marks, but he didn't want him to feel that way at all; it wasn't his fault and Gilbert would be fine.

Gilbert brought one hand to Ivan's chin and made him look up at his face. "Stop it." He said. Ivan looked a bit surprised but he instantly knew what the two little words meant. The Russian nodded and smiled a little, and then he leaned down closer to Gilbert and pressed his lips against the X-shaped scar on the albino's chest, he slid his hand up Gilbert's back and gently pulled him forward a little, holding him closer. Gilbert blushed softly as he felt Ivan's lips move gently on his chest. The Russian didn't do exactly as Gilbert wanted to since he wanted him to not worry about the marks at all, but it felt like Ivan was trying to make the scar disappear with his kiss. It was a sweet gesture, and Gilbert appreciated it fully.

After a moment, Gilbert brought his arms up and wrapped them around the Russian's shoulders. He leaned his face into the ashy-blonde hair of the other male and sighed a little. 

'I love this...' 

He told himself as he tightened his arms a little when he felt Ivan's lips pucker into a kiss against his scar. He told himself over and over that he loved this, and it felt different from last time where he was screaming at himself to make it stop because it felt wrong, but now he thought that nothing in the world could feel more right. Before, he just wanted someone to touch him gently and show him love, but now... he was actually getting that. Ivan was truly loving him, and at the moment he didn't care if there was actually any love between them or if it was just a silly crush. Regardless, both of them were fully enjoying each other and that was all that mattered to either of them.

Ivan's hands roamed around Gilbert's body, from his back to his shoulders, rubbing down his arms as well as he could, and he even stroked down to his navel and playfully poked his belly, which made Gilbert twitch a little. The albino pulled back from Ivan and smiled, and Ivan returned that smile before leaning forward to give Gilbert a long loving kiss.

When Ivan pulled away, Gilbert chuckled softly to himself. "I guess this means you like me." He said and grinned just a little.

Ivan smiled at the albino's sarcasm, "I've liked you pretty much from the first night you stayed here." He admitted, "But..." he said and leaned forward so that his lips were close to the albino's ear, "I guess this means you like me too." He said in a near whisper. Gilbert's cheeks burned a shade darker and he turned his head a little. Ivan took that as a 'yes' and also took the opportunity to pick up where he left off a week ago and he reattached his lips to Gilbert's neck.

The sudden feeling on his neck made him gasp and Ivan stopped instantly to make sure that the albino was 100% okay with it. Gilbert looked to the side, "I'm fine, it was just sudden." He said, and Ivan gave him a kiss on the cheek before going back to his neck.

Suddenly it was just like before, Gilbert had the Russian caressing his neck with his lips gently again and he was enjoying it more than he probably should, and everything was the same aside from the position that they were sitting in. Gilbert would be lying if he wasn't at all anxious, but he wasn't scared anymore; he wanted this, and he wanted Ivan. Gilbert was prepared for when Ivan took the encounter further, but it still made his body tense up a little when Ivan once again licked the skin of his neck. The Russian paused for a moment but the only reaction he got from Gilbert was him pulling himself so close that their bellies were touching; he even spread his legs a bit wider so he could get that close.

Ivan moved back at that point and looked at Gilbert, curious about what his actions meant. "Gilbert... we should stop before we go any further..." he said, afraid of losing himself again.

Gilbert tightened his grip on Ivan's shirt, "We won't." He said.

"I don't want to hurt you..." Ivan insisted, looking off to the side.

"You won't. I'm not scared anymore, alright? I trust you and I want to do this." Gilbert said and cupped Ivan's face in his hands.

Ivan sighed, "I don't think you understand. If I continue, we might go too far and I..." he stopped, blushing a little.

Gilbert finally realized what Ivan meant by 'hurt'. "Oh... that's what you mean..." he said, blushing a bit himself as memories of last night's dream flashed across his mind. "But, uh... I doubt I would let you anyway." He said, "I mean, we just had our first kiss, so I wouldn't let you do  _ that _ so soon... but, that attraction is there, obviously, so..." he shifted his hips slightly as he mumbled the last part; he wanted to make sure that Ivan understood that he was sexually attracted to him and somewhere deep down he  _ did _ want it, though how could he  _ not _ understand after hearing about that dream and then the incident in the bathtub?

Ivan smiled a little and kissed Gilbert softly, "Then we just won't do that, but we can do other stuff, as long as you're okay with it." 

Gilbert blushed darker, "Other stuff?" he asked.

"Mmhm, like if you get another erection you won't have to go hide in the bathroom again." Ivan was fully amused with how red Gilbert's face turned after his comment and how he quickly shoved his face into the larger man's chest. Ivan laughed softly and wrapped his arms around Gilbert's back and held him close. 

"I'm sorry, you're just so cute when you get flustered, but did you really not expect me to say anything? You  _ did _ just grind your hips against me after saying you're sexually attracted to me." Ivan said and kissed Gilbert's shoulder.

"Shut up, I didn't ask you for your two cents." He whined, "Besides, who said I'd even let you touch me there anyway?" he questioned irritatingly. 

Ivan hummed quietly and stroked down the albino's back. He reached the hem of Gilbert's pants and curiously slipped his fingers just under the elastic. Gilbert flinched back instantly, his face flushed a light pink, "What do you think you're doing?" he panicked a little.

"Just curious." Ivan said, "Let's change positions, your legs are falling asleep aren't they?" the Russian asked, letting one hand rest firmly on Gilbert's thigh. 

Gilbert pouted a little, but his legs  _ were _ feeling a bit numb now that Ivan mentioned it; having his legs bent for so long in this position was cutting off blood circulation. "Fine." He mumbled and lifted himself off of Ivan's lap and he instantly felt colder, he was enjoying the warmth in his front that he was getting from Ivan. 

Gilbert moved himself to the side, but found that one of his legs was suddenly caught between Ivan and the back of the couch, which seemed to be the Russian's plan. Ivan moved with Gilbert, moving right between the albino's legs again and pushing the smaller man down to the cushions of the couch by his shoulders as he hovered above him.

Gilbert's eyes shone with some fear as he stared up at the Russian and he stuttered to get a sentence out, "H-hey, stop. What are you doing?" 

Ivan leaned down and kissed Gilbert's forehead gently, softly squeezing at the albino's bare side. "I want to touch you more." He stated bluntly, "Are you okay with that?" 

Gilbert blushed and glanced away. He wasn't sure if he  _ was _ okay with it, he didn't know what Ivan planned on doing to him, but... he supposed that as long as it wasn't sex, he'd be alright. 

"It depends..." Gilbert finally mumbled out. "Where did you plan on touching?" 

Ivan let a hum vibrate in the back of his throat as he looked down Gilbert's body. He brought his gaze back up to Gilbert's, "I'll want to kiss you." He said and gave him a quick kiss. He then moved his hands down and rubbed firmly at the albino's sides. "And I'll probably touch your sides, stomach and chest." He slid his finger across the pale stomach under him and gave a soft poke, causing Gilbert to twitch a little. Ivan laughed lightly and kissed Gilbert's mouth again, "I think I'll just kiss you first though." He whispered teasingly against the other's lips.

Gilbert was irritated. He liked Ivan's touch, but he was sick of the Russian teasing him like this. After he heard Ivan's last comment, he suddenly slid one of his hands around to the back of Ivan's head and pressed his lips against the other's, taking the Russian into an unexpected and heated kiss. Gilbert let the kiss last for only a few short seconds, just long enough for the Russian to get into it, before he pulled away. 

"Don't tease me like that or I'll get pissed off." He growled. Ivan was still a bit shocked by Gilbert's actions, he didn't realize that Gilbert could be so feisty, but then again he  _ did _ straddle him and kiss him once before. He kind of liked this side of Gilbert though; it showed that he wasn't scared, and it seemed that the only thing he  _ was _ scared of was having sex. Probably. They'd figure that out later. 

Ivan moved back from Gilbert after a moment, "Hey Gilbert, do you think this is strange?" he asked, "Us, I mean, and what we're doing." 

Gilbert tilted his head a little, "No, not really. Why?"

"Well... normally, people who like each other usually get into a relationship first, and they don't normally make-out and touch each other so soon. I just want to make sure that you're not bothered by it." Ivan said, realizing this himself put a damper on his mood and his motivation to touch the albino. It was a bit strange, and probably not right.

Gilbert raised an eyebrow, "That's what you're worried about?" he said and forced Ivan back so that he could sit up. "Ivan. You like me, I like you, we both want to do this and we're both mostly willing, so what's the problem?" he asked.

Ivan sighed, "I guess your lack of experience and knowledge would make you think this is okay..."

"Don't treat me like I'm stupid, Ivan." Gilbert growled, "I know enough, but I don't see the point in sitting around waiting when the attraction is there and we both want it. Sure it'd probably be morally right to wait and let things just play out naturally, but..." Gilbert sighed, "what if this  _ is _ natural for us? We've had a connection from the start and we've always been a little physical, so I don't see the problem..." 

Ivan smiled a little and hugged around the albino, pressing his lips to his cheek softly. "I just wanted to make sure before I did something you didn't want. Honestly I could probably take you right on this couch right now." He smiled sweetly, and Gilbert's face heated up. 

Gilbert pushed on Ivan's chest a little. "Yeah, no you're not, not unless you find a way to reduce the pain." Gilbert said. 

"Of course. When the time comes we'll buy lube and I'll get you nice and prepared." Ivan hummed happily and kissed Gilbert's cheek again.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Gilbert mumbled, blushing softly.

"Oh you're such a virgin, but I'll explain it later, right now I want to kiss you again." Ivan said.

Before Gilbert could retaliate more, Ivan reconnected their lips in a heated kiss. Gilbert soon leaned back, indicating that he wanted to lay back down and Ivan complied instantly, pushing the other down and moving up a little so that he was lying right on the smaller man's front. Their hips grinded together in the movement and it caused them both to let out a soft groan. Gilbert wrapped his arms up around Ivan's neck, pulling the man down on himself more and the two moved their lips together just as before, tilting their heads slowly and gently but eagerly massaging the other's lips. Without realizing it, Gilbert had begun to part his lips more, welcoming Ivan to explore inside. Ivan noticed it and to test if Gilbert truly wanted that, he stopped for a second to lick across Gilbert's bottom lip to ask for permission. Gilbert's body tensed and he felt a small throb in his lower belly, but he shyly parted his lips more and Ivan cautiously slid his tongue inside.

Gilbert squeaked quietly when he felt Ivan's tongue brush against his, and he pulled away from the kiss instantly and held his hand over his mouth. "S-Sorry," the albino apologized, "I wasn't completely ready for that..." He said through his fingers.

Ivan smiled sweetly at the other and brushed some of the other's snow-colored hair from his forehead, "Don't worry about it, Gilbert. We'll just try again."

To that, Gilbert nodded hesitantly and moved his arms back into their previous position around Ivan's neck. The Russian gently reconnected their lips; Gilbert's eyes slid shut as Ivan slowly coaxed his lips open with a slow caution. This time Ivan let his tongue touch more gently against Gilbert's but the albino still tensed up again, but he didn't pull away, instead he tightened his arms around Ivan's neck to pull the other closer. Ivan welcomed this fully, and watched Gilbert's expression through half lidded eyes. Gilbert looked adorable; his cheeks flushed pink, his eyes closed gently and his eyebrows would pull together slightly in sharp twitches whenever their tongues would press against each other. 

Ivan eventually closed his eyes as well and tilted his head to gain better access, rubbing his tongue roughly against Gilbert's own. The Russian felt his face flush red when he heard a soft groan from the man under him. It was strange how Gilbert made him feel so good about these sorts of things, but then again he never really liked anyone as much as he likes Gilbert. 

Ivan's eyes opened when he began to feel something press up against his waist, he slowed but didn't stop the kiss but he realized that it was Gilbert subtly lifting his hips up. Ivan gave a slow lick along the side of Gilbert's tongue and the albino moaned softly into his mouth. Ivan felt his stomach tighten at the sound and it drove him to make the kiss even more heated by rubbing his tongue faster and rougher against the others. He ran his hands down Gilbert's bare chest, feeling the other's muscles tense and twitch under his touch as he did so. 

Gilbert opened his eyes as Ivan's hands explored down his body, gently groping and caressing as they went. He felt his groin tighten again and he could have sworn he felt his pants get tighter. He realized what was happening and he broke the kiss messily. Ivan tried to continue kissing, and slid his tongue along Gilbert's as they parted.

The two panted softly, their cheeks both flushed pink and looking a bit hazed over. Gilbert brought his hands down between his and Ivan's body and clenched the fabric over his groin; he tilted his head to the side and glanced up at Ivan out of the corner of his eyes. "We... should stop..." he mumbled embarrassingly. 

Ivan breathed a little to try and calm himself down since he felt something stirring down south as well. Even so, he couldn't help but ask, "Why?" Gilbert blushed a little more and shifted his body a little and nearly groaned when his crotch rubbed against Ivan's. It was answer enough for the Russian and he couldn't help but smile just slightly, "I see... you're aroused again..." he leaned down and kissed Gilbert's cheek, "I can feel it." He said and smiled at how Gilbert twitched his face away. 

"Shut up, it's  _ your _ fault..." Gilbert grumbled with irritated embarrassment, even though he was the one who actually started it.

"I know," Ivan held Gilbert's chin between his thumb and index finger and gently made the albino look at him, "So let me fix it." The smile he gave was genuine and sweet.

Gilbert went silent and squeezed his eyes shut. Ivan watched him for a moment before shifting down a little and kissing Gilbert's ribs. "If you don't tell me 'no', I'll take your silence as a 'yes'." He said and looked up at the other. Still he received no reply from the other, so he took that as a sign that he could continue. He knew that Gilbert would tell him to stop if he was uncertain, he didn't doubt that; and if he did ask him to stop, he'll listen this time.

He continued on, kissing down Gilbert's chest and stopping only to give some love to the X-shaped scar there. He slid his body down as he trailed his lips toward Gilbert's navel. He gripped gently onto Gilbert's wrists to move his arms out of his way and he pushed them into the cushions at his sides. He then gave a few kisses to that soft pale belly and Gilbert retracted his legs up a little in reaction. Ivan's hands went up to the hem of Gilbert's pants and he felt the albino tense up again, a small hiss escaping his lips. Ivan paused to make sure that Gilbert was fine, and once again there was no reply from Gilbert; his face was just flushed pink and his eyebrows were knitted together. 

Ivan pulled on the hem of Gilbert's pants, which were also borrowed from Ivan so they were a little baggy on him. He pulled them down so Gilbert's undergarments were revealed. Oddly enough, he was still wearing those tight shorts from the theater; Ivan assumed that Gilbert didn't want to borrow boxers from him and this was all he had until they had gone shopping earlier, and he hadn't really had time to change since then. The tightness of the black shorts made Ivan's heart pound, and he could see how the albino had gotten a little excited from their little make-out session, and it honestly looked painful to wear those shorts just because they were so small and probably meant for women. 

He pulled down on the elastic of the shorts a little and saw the marks under it. He glanced up at Gilbert, who seemed to just be waiting for something to happen, and he gently touched a single finger against one mark.

"Gilbert... will you tell me how you got these?" he asked, sitting up a little to get a better look at the albino man.

Gilbert looked down at the Russian and blinked a few times before sighing softly. "They're burns." He said, "When I would refuse the experiments, I was tortured. They basically branded me like an animal, over and over." He turned his head to the side as he remembered the torture. For a moment he thought he could actually feel the burning again. 

Ivan didn't say another word but just narrowed his eyes in sadness. It was that look again, that look that Gilbert didn't want him to look at him with. It was like he was pitying him, and sure he was but what was the point? It's not like he could reverse time and erase it. This was one reason why Gilbert didn't want Ivan to see, but he guessed he would find out sooner or later. 

Ivan leaned down and took Gilbert off-guard with a tender kiss to a few of the burn marks; He didn't pause even though Gilbert twitched a little. The albino quickly glanced down at the Russian and blushed brightly upon seeing his mouth on his groin, it sent a wave of heat through his body and he let out a small whimper. Ivan kept moving, pulling the shorts down more as he kissed each burn, he stopped and casually licked upward, which made Gilbert's back arch slightly and pulled another whimper from his throat. 

The Russian's eyes were still sad even as he continued to lick and kiss, at least these marks could be used to give Gilbert pleasure, and Gilbert's pleasure was quickly becoming Ivan's top priority. He pulled the shorts down more and revealed a bit of Gilbert's member, which had been brought to a full erection from the loving kisses and licks that Ivan was administering to his skin, and looked like it needed to get out of these tight shorts. Seeing Gilbert like this had gotten Ivan hard as well, and he could feel himself growing hotter by the second. He grinned a bit at how Gilbert was shifting his body around, like it was torturing him not to be touched. 

Ivan leaned down a little and gave the base of Gilbert's erection a light kiss, and Gilbert froze up instantly and, much to Ivan's surprise, suddenly gripped onto the Russian's hair tight and pulled him up a little to look at him. The albino's face was flushed and he looked a bit panicked.

"No. Not that, not yet." He mumbled. "It- it's too soon, I don't-" 

Ivan reached a hand up and covered Gilbert's mouth gently. "It's alright Gilbert, you don't have to explain. If you're not comfortable with it, then I won't do it." He said with a smiled, "Though we should do something; I have a bit of a problem myself..." he said, his face turning a light pink in embarrassment as well.

Gilbert leaned his head back into the cushions and laid his forearm over his eyes. "We're a mess." He mumbled. 

Ivan didn't reply but he chuckled silently at the comment, and he sat up and moved away from Gilbert. Before he said anything, he took a moment to look over at the albino. His face was still a light pink and his lips were parted and panting softly, and his stomach was caving in a little from his breathing. Ivan couldn't see his face but those pale eyebrows were probably still pulled together.  

"Straddle me." The sudden demand came from Ivan, and it caused Gilbert to move his arm off his face and give the Russian a strange look.

"What?" 

"Straddle me again. We're going to take care of this." Ivan said and patted his thigh softly. 

Gilbert blushed softly but nodded and sat up. He moved his legs off of the couch and thought for a brief moment before slipping his baggy pants all the way off, leaving him only in those blasted tight shorts. Ivan was a bit confused by the action but he figured that it would be easier for Gilbert to move if he wasn't wearing such baggy clothing, but seeing Gilbert nearly naked and aching for release made the Russian's heartbeat slow a bit and thud hard in his chest. 

Gilbert lifted his leg and threw it over Ivan's lap once again, holding onto the other's shoulders for support. He blushed from how close he was to Ivan's face and he glanced away as if not looking at him would save him from some embarrassment. Ivan placed a single hand on the small of Gilbert's lower back, and stroked up his skin and back down.

"You should sit." Ivan suggested, "Just watch where you sit." He said and laughed lightly. Gilbert looked down before he sat, taking care to not hurt the other. Ivan then pulled him a little closer and smiled as he continued to rub his hand up and down Gilbert's back.

"So... what now?" Gilbert mumbled, feeling a bit lost.

Ivan smiled a bit wider. "You just sit there, I'll take care of everything." He said. 

Without another word, Ivan reached his hands down and began tugging on the shorts that Gilbert was wearing. Part of him wanted to rip them in half for a few reasons but he wasn't sure if Gilbert would appreciate that, so he just settled with pulling them down enough so that he could free Gilbert's erection. The albino shivered when Ivan's fingers grazed the sensitive skin and his body tensed up, so Ivan smiled and gave a kiss to the pink cheek in front of him, soothing him to relax. After a few seconds, Ivan began to stroke Gilbert's shaft, thoroughly enjoying how Gilbert suddenly leaned his upper body into him and rested his chin on his shoulder. Ivan felt himself throbbing and he felt like it was time to give himself some attention as well, so he briefly broke the contact with Gilbert and quickly freed his own erection. Due to curiosity of why Ivan had stopped, the albino looked over to Ivan and then looked down, and he blushed dark and turned his face at the sight of Ivan's size, which was much larger than Gilbert's own.

"You're never getting that thing inside me, just so you know." Gilbert commented, and Ivan simply chuckled and kissed the corner of Gilbert's mouth.

"Don't worry, maybe one day I'll find a way to." 

Before Gilbert could retort, the Russian wrapped his hand firmly around the albino's erection, causing the smaller man to twitch at the sudden contact, and he began to pump both himself and the albino in a matching rhythm. Gilbert whined softly and slowly began to lift his hips, pushing himself closer to the other. Ivan smiled a little and let a low groan vibrate in his throat, and he suddenly let the two members touch against each other. Gilbert let out a soft gasp but he hid it by burying his face into Ivan's neck. 

The Russian nuzzled his head into Gilbert's hair and continued on, his groans becoming a bit louder and more frequent and happened every time Gilbert would rub his hips against him. 

"H-Hey Ivan..." Gilbert breathed out, "Do you, have any spots? Like, sensitive ones?" Gilbert asked, feeling embarrassed for asking.

Ivan blushed more and turned his head a little, "My neck." He answered, a small grunt following. "Why?" 

Gilbert answered by kissing the skin of Ivan's neck, causing the other to suddenly tense up and blush bright. Gilbert couldn't help but grin slightly and he gave a slow lick up to the skin under the Russian's ear. He continued to give long slow kisses and massaged Ivan's skin, even giving weak sucks here and there as the Russian continued his work down further, both of them moaning softly from the others treatment.  

Soon, and without much of a warning, Gilbert tensed and he cried softly as he came onto Ivan's hand, his body shivering violently as he did and his face buried deep into the Russian's neck, letting out a few heavy pants. Ivan removed his hand from Gilbert and focused solely on himself, lasting only about a minute longer after hearing Gilbert's cute cry. 

Gilbert left his body slumped against Ivan and closed his eyes gently, he was exhausted and the embarrassment was just starting to sink in with the realization of what that warmth was on his stomach. 

Ivan nuzzled his head into Gilbert's neck as best as he could, "Are you alright?" he asked quietly.

Gilbert nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine..." he replied tiredly.

"Do you regret doing that?" 

Gilbert suddenly pulled back and looked at Ivan with his pinkish-blue eyes narrowed slightly in confusion. "Why would I-?" he stopped when he noticed the worried and depressed look on the Russian's face, and he leaned forward and gently took Ivan into a soft and loving kiss. After he pulled back, he looked Ivan in the eyes with the most sincere look the Russian had ever seen on him, "I'm not scared anymore. I told you before that all you needed to do was give me a little time, and you did, so it's all okay." 

Ivan smiled slightly and kissed Gilbert's cheek. "Good, I'm glad, because... I think I'm starting to fall in love with you, and I want you to not regret being with me."

The albino blushed a little and chuckled weakly, "Of course I don't. And maybe,  _ possibly _ , I'm falling for you too, you big idiot." He grumbled a bit, looking like a pouty child. 

The Russian smiled at Gilbert's words, feeling them tug a bit at his heartstrings even with the weak insult attached to it. "Come on, we should get cleaned up." Suddenly Gilbert found himself being lifted, Ivan's arms locked tightly under his behind. His legs instantly wrapped around Ivan's waist and his hand gripped tight at the Russian's shoulders. 

"Do you mind telling me before you do something like that!? I could have fell backward!" Gilbert yelled, looking like he just had a mini heart attack.

"I wouldn't have let you fall." Ivan assured him simply, and Gilbert grumbled irritatingly to himself, resting his chin on Ivan's shoulder again and relaxing himself a little as Ivan carried him.

The Russian took Gilbert to the bathroom and set the man down on the toilet seat. He gathered some towels and other things and then began helping Gilbert clean up. Ivan's sudden actions made Gilbert blush and he responded by looking away. He really liked how sweet Ivan was, and how Ivan even seemed a bit shy by apologizing and blushing while he cleaned up the mess they both made that was splattered and dripping down Gilbert's pale skin.

After Gilbert was done, he went back into the living room while Ivan cleaned himself and changed as well. Gilbert rummaged through his shopping bags and picked out a new outfit and changed right there. Once he was dressed in his new button up and somewhat tight jeans, he shoved the old shorts into an empty bag and tied it, ready to finally throw them away. 

He glanced over to the couch and eyed Ivan's white scarf that had been discarded with his shirt earlier. Without really thinking, he picked up the scarf and wrapped it around his neck loosely. As Gilbert stood there fussing with the scarf to get the tails the same length, Ivan walked up behind him, dressed in a new outfit as well, and smiled at the sight of the albino wearing his scarf once again. 

"You can have it, if you want." Ivan said, and Gilbert turned around.

The albino held the ends of the scarf in his hands. "Thanks... but no. If you give it to me, then it won't be yours anymore, and that's why I like wearing it..." Gilbert said, his cheeks warming up a bit.

God, did he  _ really _ just say something that cheesy?

Ivan seemed touched by the comment, though, and he smiled and walked closer to the other and instantly wrapped his arms around the smaller male's waist. He buried his face into Gilbert's neck and gave the skin there a soft kiss, not to excite him or anything, but just to show some affection. The action made Gilbert smile and feel like he was going to cry but he wrapped his arms around the Russian and tightened them, embracing him firmly.

"Hey Ivan, can I have the title of your boyfriend now?" Gilbert asked, his voice sounding a bit cute and hopeful.

The Russian chuckled and squeezed the smaller male in his arms. "Do you even need to ask?" He asked rhetorically and smiled down at him, "Of course you can." He said and then kissed his new boyfriend's forehead lovingly.


	11. Final

Ivan was lying in bed on his side, wide-awake and looking at the sleeping albino next to him. The way that Gilbert slept was simply adorable. He'd move in his sleep occasionally, nuzzling his head into his pillow or retracting his legs up. He'd grip his hands into a fist and grab lightly onto the blanket that was brought up to his chin and tucked in around the shape of his body, courtesy of Ivan.

After last night, Gilbert was rather exhausted, albeit so was Ivan. The two cuddled on the couch for a while, Gilbert would plant soft kisses along Ivan's jaw and occasionally kiss down further onto his neck to tease him just a bit. Though Ivan got him to stop before they wound up in the same position as before, though he bet that Gilbert would have gotten them to that point again if he let the man continue. It seemed that self-control was something that Gilbert needed to work on.

Ivan scooted himself closer to the other male, and leaned down to give his forehead a gentle kiss. After getting a mouthful of the albino's hair, though, he carefully brushed the white strands from Gilbert's forehead and tried again, letting his lips graze and press against his skin. He pulled back to admire how peaceful Gilbert looked, and for a moment he remembered all of the different expressions he had seen on this man's face in such a short time. 

Happiness, sadness, hurt, fear, anger, excitement, pleasure, sarcasm, adoration. 

Gilbert was amazing, and Ivan hoped that he would be able to see more of what the albino could bring after a few more weeks or maybe even months. Ivan had a feeling that Gilbert was his now and that he wasn't going anywhere, so he could hope for the future now and plan things for the two. 

There was so much he wanted to do with Gilbert. He wanted to take him  _ everywhere _ . Since the man obviously couldn't remember much of his childhood and his teen and adult years seem to have been swallowed up by the experiments, taking him to a theme park would be a fun experience for both of them. Ivan imagined Gilbert on his first roller-coaster; would he scream in fright or in excitement? Would he cling to Ivan if he was scared of heights? Though it was a little hard to imagine Gilbert, of all people, being afraid of heights. Ivan saw Gilbert being a bit nervous to get on one, but he bet that once Gilbert felt that thrill of an adrenalin rush, he'd love it and beg Ivan to take him on more rides. Or maybe even a waterpark would be a fun experience, if only for the chance to see the albino soaking wet in swim trunks that would cling to his legs. 

Just as Ivan was getting to day dreaming about Gilbert pulling his arm toward another ride in excitement or dripping wet with water, someone began knocking at his apartment door. Ivan heard it clearly since he left his bedroom door open, and the knock sounded a bit frantic, not calm like usual.

Carefully, the Russian slid himself away from the still-sleeping albino and stood up from the bed. He straightened himself out a little and buttoned his shirt up all the way before heading to the front door.

He peeked through the peephole and saw Mandy standing there, looking to her left and right in a frantic looking manner. She was clutching something in her arms as well, which looked like a newspaper. Ivan opened the door slowly and ruffled his hair. 

"Mandy?" he asked.

The woman flinched as if someone had just punched her. "Ah, Ivan... I'm sorry for bothering you so early in the morning, but I just thought I'd let you know about something..." she mumbled, looking down to the floor.

Ivan groaned mentally, thinking that she was going to confess her undying love for him or something. "What is it?" he asked, trying to seem concerned or interested. 

"I'm not entirely sure how to tell you this, but... there... in town, there was-"

"Ivan?" a sleepy voice came from behind the Russian and cut the woman off. Both Mandy and Ivan tilted their heads to look into the apartment. Gilbert was standing a few feet behind Ivan, rubbing one eye tiredly and yawning widely. 

Mandy's eyes widened, momentarily forgetting the reason she came over in the first place, and her cheeks turned a soft pink. "... sorry, was I, um, interrupting, something?" she asked embarrassingly. She couldn't help but get the idea since the two were together and Gilbert was wearing nothing but one of Ivan's bigger button-up shirts, which was unbuttoned by 3 buttons at the top.

Gilbert smiled tiredly and walked next to his boyfriend, gently wrapping his arms around his belly. "No, not at all." he answered her, nuzzling his head into Ivan's chest a bit. 

Ivan blushed a little but he carefully brought his arm around Gilbert's waist. He forgot for a moment that he didn't have to pretend to be Gilbert's boyfriend anymore and for some reason that fact made him incredibly proud. 

"Anyway, you wanted to tell me something, Mandy?" Ivan asked, trying to get the woman to stop looking at Gilbert's outfit, mainly his legs though. The Russian could tell how insanely jealous Mandy was of Gilbert. 

"Right... in town, there was a fire last night, at the theater." Ivan's eyes widened just slightly, his interest being piqued. "A few people were killed, I think, and the survivors described the fire like it was an explosion, like a fireball or something." She said, "I heard a loud noise from my apartment last night, but I didn't think much of it. Anyway, I just thought I'd let you know since you used to work there. I hope everyone's alright..." she mumbled, glancing down the hall again. 

' _ A fireball? _ ' Ivan thought to himself, finding Mandy's description of the fire a bit strange. He had a hard time believing that something actually caused an explosion in the theater without it being the cause of a mage.

Gilbert looked up at Ivan, who seemed to be lost in an intense trance. The Russian's hand on his hip was gripping tighter at his skin. "Ivan...?" Gilbert whispered softly as he looked at the other with a concerned look. 

Ivan shook his head a bit and he forced a smile down at the albino. "I'm fine." He said and leaned down to place a kiss on the top of Gilbert's head. 

Mandy cleared her throat then, "I'll go then, you two seem, busy." She said, still looking a bit flustered.

Gilbert grinned a little. "Don't worry, we'll be quiet~" he teased, but Ivan suddenly put a hand over his mouth.

" _ Gilbert _ ." He said in a hushed urgent tone. He then turned to Mandy and smiled nervously, his cheeks a light pink as well, "I'm sorry. Uh, bye." He said and shut the door quickly, locking it. 

Gilbert still had his arms wrapped around Ivan's stomach when the Russian closed the door. And as embarrassed and slightly annoyed as he was, Ivan just couldn't bring himself to be upset with the cute little albino clinging to him. "You didn't have to say that, you know..." Ivan mumbled softly and placed a hand on the other male's head. "It's not like we were doing anything anyway."

"I know." Gilbert pouted a little and looked up at the Russian. "She likes you a lot, so I have to make sure I get my point across that you're mine."

Ivan chuckled quietly and smiled, "I think there are other problems with that situation, Gilbert." Ivan said and leaned down to kiss the albino's lips softly. Gilbert stood on his tiptoes to press his lips against Ivan's more as he returned the kiss, but just before Gilbert could get into it, Ivan pulled back a little. "For instance, she isn't my little birdie." He said and gave the albino a little Eskimo kiss. 

"'Little birdie'?" Gilbert asked, raising an eyebrow. "Already with pet names?" 

The Russian shrugged, "It's cute, isn't it? And you do have wings, so." 

Gilbert smiled a little, "I never thought anyone could make me happy about having my wings." He said and cupped Ivan's face in his hands and pulled him close, bringing the other male into a soft and loving kiss. 

As he was kissed, Ivan thought about Gilbert's words just now and how much of a statement it was. Gilbert  _ hated _ his wings and thought of himself as an abomination, so the fact that Ivan could make him feel good about himself was something that the Russian took great pride in, and he wouldn't stop; he would do everything he could to make Gilbert feel good.

Ivan tilted his head a bit so he could kiss the other better, and he wrapped his arms around the albino's lower back. Gilbert pressed his body forward in response, subtly grinding his front against Ivan's; he broke the kiss and gave a small peck to the corner of Ivan's mouth before speaking.

"Can we move to the couch...?" he asked a bit shyly. 

Ivan nodded and suddenly lifted the albino into the air bridal-style and walked over to the couch, pulling a small gasp from the smaller man. He plopped down and held the other close for a moment before kissing him again. Gilbert found the position adorable but a tad bit uncomfortable, so he shifted his body just enough to move his legs but never broke the tender kiss that Ivan had him in. The Russian didn't try to stop the albino from moving but rather encouraged him by ghosting his hands over the pale man's body as he moved, eventually just settling on his hips when Gilbert finally acquired his final position; it was a familiar one and one that Gilbert seemed to enjoy: straddling Ivan and bringing his body so close that their stomachs touched. He really loved being so close to the other and feeling Ivan's body heat wash over him. 

Ivan suddenly pulled Gilbert closer by the waist, unintentionally grinding their hips roughly against each other's. They both let out a soft groan, but Ivan took that chance to slip his tongue right into Gilbert's mouth. The albino welcomed it, though a bit surprised, and his eyes slid shut. He twitched a little when Ivan's tongue touched against his for the first time since last night, but the Russian continued to poke, slide, and stroke against the albino's. Soon, Gilbert was panting softly into the kiss and whimpering each time their tongues touched, his whimpers sometimes turning into quiet moans. He shifted his body forward and began to weakly rock his hips against Ivan. 

Ivan growled when he felt his groin suddenly tighten with warmth and he regretfully broke the heated kiss, leaving Gilbert trailing after him with a string of saliva thinning out and breaking between them. "Gilbert wait, let's not do this again..." Ivan said, letting out a soft pant.

"What? What are you talking about?" Gilbert asked, disappointed that Ivan pulled away so soon.

"I mean  _ this _ : You rocking against me and us getting lost in these kisses. I know I started it, but I know where this is heading and I don't want our relationship to be that physical every day." Ivan said and stroked Gilbert's cheek with his knuckles and hoped that the albino wouldn't think this was Ivan rejecting him.

Gilbert sunk down a little, seeing a point in what Ivan was saying, and looked down in shame. "I see. I'm sorry." He apologized. 

Ivan slid his finger along Gilbert's chin to make him look at him. "You don't need to apologize, but let's just control ourselves a little better before we go too far, okay?" He said and rubbed his thumb against the albino's cheek. 

"Okay..." Gilbert agreed quietly, "but, can we still kiss? Just for a little while longer?" he asked. His eyes looked pleading, like all he needed was Ivan's kiss.

Ivan studied the look reflecting in Gilbert's eyes, and he just couldn't bring himself to deny the albino, so he nodded and pressed his lips gently against the others again. 

Ivan caressed the albino's lips softly but with an intense amount of passion and love, memorizing those soft pink lips as if he was never going to kiss them again. Gilbert had cooled himself down and let himself drowned in the affection that Ivan was giving him. His arms were locked around the Russian's neck, while Ivan's hands held Gilbert's waist. Sometimes Ivan would drag the large shirt with him and gently stroke at the albino's warm skin. The touch excited Gilbert, but not in a way that would cause Ivan to stop. The albino pulled himself closer, spreading his legs just a bit more so he could fully feel Ivan's warmth again. 

The Russian really was like a giant teddy bear and he actually reminded Gilbert of a bear he once had. It was an old memory, one that didn't get locked away upstairs from the experiments. The bear was almost life-size and brown, its belly was really soft and no matter how much he would squeeze and cuddle it, it would always regain its original shape. He slept with this bear every night and he'd wrap his arms around the bear's belly, and when he was scared from a nightmare or a storm, he'd curl his legs up onto the bear as well and bury his face into it. 

Gilbert suddenly grinned so wide that he unintentionally stopped the kiss, and Ivan looked at him curiously. "What's so funny?" Ivan asked, smiling a bit just out of reaction to Gilbert smiling.

The albino put a hand over his mouth to hide his smile, "Nothing, I'm sorry. I was just reminded of something." He said.

"Oh?" Ivan inquired and leaned closer. "What was it?"

"It's nothing." Gilbert dodged the question and glanced away. 

"You're not getting off that easily." Ivan said and suddenly flipped the albino onto his back and forced him into the cushions of the couch and hovered over him. Gilbert's legs were still straddling Ivan and he looked a bit confused about what just happened. The Russian seemed more playful than usual, with a slight grin pulling at his lips. "Tell me." He said and slid his hands down the albino's bare legs to his thighs.

Gilbert blushed when he felt the hands on his legs and turned his head to the side again. "It was just a memory."

"Ah ah~" Ivan hummed and then moved his hands up Gilbert's hips, pushing the large shirt up with his hands until the albino's pale belly was revealed. "Tell me~" 

Gilbert's face flushed darker and he threw his hands down to try and pull the shirt down since he was just in his underwear, but Ivan wasn't having it and gripped onto Gilbert's wrists with one hand. "You just reminded me of something, that's all." Gilbert said.

Ivan leaned down and took Gilbert into a sudden kiss, and then pulled away quicker than either of them liked. "Tell me and I'll let you up, or else I'll start tickling you."

Gilbert froze, knowing how ticklish he was; he would crack  _ instantly _ . The albino sighed heavily in defeat. "You reminded me of a stuffed bear that I would sleep with when I was younger."

The grin on the Russian's face grew wider, "Really?" he asked, to which Gilbert gave a weak and embarrassed nod. "You're so adorable." Ivan said and leaned down, kissing the albino's forehead. "How do I remind you of this bear?" he asked.

Gilbert pouted slightly, shifting his eyes away in embarrassment. He  _ really _ didn't want to explain something so childish and humiliating. Ivan waited a moment to see if Gilbert would talk, but when nothing but silence and avoidance came from the albino, he pushed his body forward so that Gilbert's legs were locked in place and would make it hard for him to move, and then he slid a hand over Gilbert's navel, catching his attention. Gilbert glanced back to Ivan and there was a wide grin plastered across his face. The albino swallowed roughly as he felt the nail of Ivan's index finger graze over the skin of his belly. The touch caused his muscles to tense up and twitch. Ivan touched the rest of his fingers against Gilbert's skin and ghosted his nails up the albino's side. Gilbert twitched instinctively and tried to move away, but Ivan kept him where he was. 

Gilbert finally gave in and grumbled. " _ Fine _ ." He groaned irritatingly just as Ivan was about to begin his tickling assault, "The bear would always make me feel safe and warm, so..." he said.

Ivan suddenly kissed Gilbert on the lips and pulled away, smiling. "That wasn't so hard, was it?" he teased and then sat up, letting Gilbert out of his grasp. 

The albino sat up and immediately pulled his shirt down so that his boxers weren't showing, and sat properly on the couch. He was still embarrassed and felt like Ivan would tease him about this memory for a  _ long _ time. 

Ivan watched him for a moment before speaking. "You should go get dressed." He said.

Gilbert sighed and reluctantly stood up. He stretched his arms up over his head and stood on his tiptoes, "Alright." He said.

The two walked back to Ivan's room to pick out new clothing and Gilbert went off to the bathroom to change. 

Ivan changed in his room and had a thought that Gilbert was acting a bit strange. He seemed a bit upset, and Ivan hoped that he wasn't upset at him for forcing him to tell him about the bear. Was it  _ that _ big a deal to Gilbert? It was a cute story and Ivan really just wanted to know because it's one of the few things that Gilbert remembers from his childhood, so he wanted to share that knowledge. 

Ivan finished dressing by slipping on his shoes and he returned to the front room. Gilbert was sitting on the couch bending over toward the floor and tying the laces on the ankle boots that he had taken from the theater. The Russian walked over to the other male, "Hey Gilbert, would you like to go out today?"

Gilbert finished lacing his boot before looking up at Ivan. "Yeah, sure." He said with a smile, "Actually, I was thinking of going back into the forest to get all the stuff you've given me over the last month. Like the quilt, and some of your food containers." He said.

"Right, I forgot about all of that." He said. "Alright, we'll do that then." He agreed with a smile.

Gilbert stood up and walked over to the Russian and smiled brightly. "Thanks, by the way. I don't think I ever properly thanked you for everything." Ivan was about to stutter out a response when he felt Gilbert's lips press softly against his. "Thank you. I mean it." Gilbert said softly against the Russian's lips.

The albino pulled back and chuckled when he saw that Ivan was blushing softly. Really, Ivan could be so cute sometimes.

.

After some cute hair-rustling and putting on their coats, and Gilbert of course putting on Ivan's scarf again, the two soon found themselves walking down the dirt path leading to the spot where they first met, hand in hand. It was nice; the two never really held hands and walked anywhere, considering they were never in a relationship before. The escape from the theater doesn't count.

They eventually reached the tree that Gilbert was always sitting in, the one that he fell from, and the one that he pinned Ivan to the day after he left his apartment. Gilbert grinned and let go of Ivan's hand and ran toward the tree. He easily ran up the side of it and gripped onto a branch just thick enough to hold his weight. He expertly swung himself up and sat himself on the large branch that he was particularly fond of sitting on. He looked down at the Russian male who was looking up at him with a warm smile on his lips. Ivan was amazed by how easily Gilbert could move, but then again he used to be an acrobat years ago, and he supposed that was how he stayed in shape.

"It's really beautiful out here." Ivan said, looking around at the orange and red leaves on the trees, and the blue, partly clouded sky above them.

"Yeah, it is... but," his voice got lower and sadder, "It gets old real fast when you're alone." He said and brought his legs to his chest, resting his arms on his kneecaps.

"Gilbert." The albino heard his name from below him, and he looked down to see Ivan holding his arms out, beckoning him to come down and hug him. Gilbert smiled a little to himself and swung his legs off the side of the branch. He carefully swung himself down from the tree and landed on his feet, although wobbling a little from falling so high. 

Ivan quickly took the albino into a tight embrace, nuzzling his face into the snowy white hair of the other male. "You'll never be alone again, Gilbert, I promise." He assured him and turned to look at the ocean in front of them. 

Gilbert felt his throat tighten with the need to cry, but he restrained it and simply smiled and gazed out at the water as well.

"I remember the first time I saw you." Ivan started, not taking his eyes off the water. "When you dropped me right over there." He pointed with his finger to the spot he was talking about. "I remember being shocked by seeing you and being curious about your wings, but I remember thinking how I never saw a creature with wings as beautiful as yours. You looked so scared, though, and I couldn't figure out why, and I wanted to help you since you looked like you were in pain." His arm around Gilbert tightened, "I'm glad you let me help you, at least a little bit." He said and kissed the top of Gilbert's head.

Gilbert's eyes narrowed in guilt and sadness, "I didn't want your help at first. I just wanted to be left alone because I figured you were exactly like everyone else who sees my wings." Gilbert admitted, "But there was always something warm about you, though... and I'm really happy you persisted and kept coming to check on me even after I was such a jerk to you." 

Ivan chuckled softly and gave another kiss to Gilbert's hair, "It's alright Gilbert, you don't need to apologize. I don't hold your actions against you and it makes sense now that I know why you acted like that." He said, "But let's move on, okay?"

Gilbert turned in Ivan's arms and smiled happily up at the Russian, "Yeah, that sounds awesome." He said.

The Russian leaned down and connected their lips softly, kissing the other more tenderly than ever before. Gilbert moved closer and wrapped his arms around Ivan's waist as the other did the same to him. The two were immersed in their own world, it seemed, and neither of them let one detail slip by them. Ivan noticed how Gilbert's lips were a bit chapped, but Ivan enjoyed how they were becoming a bit more moist as the kiss went on. Gilbert felt Ivan's lips move slowly and sweetly against his. They were soft and Ivan was controlling the kiss. Gilbert mostly just stood there and let the Russian caress him in such a sweet way, and that was fine for him. Gilbert liked when Ivan kissed him, he loved the feeling of being dominated, whether it was a sweet kiss like this or a more heated one like they shared earlier.

Ivan suddenly pulled back from the kiss and then glanced toward the forest and Gilbert looked up at him with concern when he noticed how aware the Russian looked, "Ivan?" he inquired. 

"I just thought I heard something." He mumbled quietly and held Gilbert close. Gilbert glanced in the direction that Ivan was looking and he suddenly tensed up. "Gilbert?" Ivan said his name and looked down at him.

"I-I thought I saw something move..." he said, his voice was a dead giveaway that he was frightened.

Ivan tightened his arms around the albino. "Don't worry, it was probably just a deer or rabbit." He said, hoping that he was right but couldn't shake the feeling that he was wrong.

Suddenly something caused a rustle in the bushes and Gilbert jumped a little, Ivan squinted and then suddenly pushed Gilbert behind him and stood in front of him like a shield. Gilbert peeked out from behind Ivan's arm and saw someone stumble from the bushes. He gripped onto Ivan tight as the person's face became clear, and suddenly Gilbert found himself more terrified than he had been in a long time.

Ivan's entire body tensed. " _ Mallory _ ." He growled lowly and it caused Gilbert to shiver from the tone of his voice.

Mallory was walking toward them in a stumble, his clothing ripped and torn. He started mouthing off and saying disgusting things like how Gilbert is just a toy and that Ivan is only pretending to be his lover so he can experiment on him like all the others wanted, and that Gilbert's purpose for living was to be a lab rat. Even though Gilbert knew it was all a lie, Mallory's words hit him hard and upset him. 

Ivan turned to Gilbert and smiled as best as he could. "Stay here." He said quietly and gave a quick kiss to his forehead before he began walking to Mallory. Ivan began to try to reason with the man, telling him that Gilbert was free now and that he couldn't control him, and that if he tried to hurt Gilbert, he would do whatever it takes to stop him.

Mallory suddenly snapped and started screaming. From nowhere, a shiny blade flung out and he started swinging the blade at Ivan's face. Ivan dodged most of the attempts but eventually the blade grazed his skin and cut deep enough to draw blood. The cut caught Ivan off-guard and he lost focus for a split second but it was long enough for Mallory to push on the Russian's chest and cause him to tumble to the ground. Mallory then shifted his focus on Gilbert and bolted straight for him. The albino froze in fear and his mind screamed to move but his legs were like set stone. Mallory soon reached him and pulled Gilbert to him by the scarf around his neck, causing the fabric to tighten and choke him slightly. He let out a cough and tried to pull away but Mallory held him close and tight by using the scarf as leverage. 

As Ivan stood to his feet he lost a bit of his rationality and angrily threw three fireballs in rapid succession at Mallory. One nearly hit Gilbert and the other two flew passed the two. Mallory pulled Gilbert in front of his body and held onto the scarf tightly so that Gilbert would choke if he moved at all. He yelled something at Ivan about how he couldn't hurt him without hurting his "precious little bird", and Ivan realized that it was true. The Russian growled deeply in anger for Mallory being anywhere near his Gilbert. He tried to figure out how to get Gilbert away from him but they were so close to the edge of the cliff that he feared that Mallory would do something drastic; the man was clearly unstable and Ivan didn't want to take a chance of Gilbert getting hurt. 

He thought for a moment and then threw two more fireballs just to the side of where Mallory had Gilbert. Mallory laughed loudly and mocked his accuracy and pulled on Gilbert's scarf more, causing Gilbert to cough even more and pull on the tightening fabric around his neck. The sight made Ivan's blood boil with hate but he knew he had to keep calm and not give any reason for Mallory to hurt Gilbert more than he already was.

Ivan then tilted his hand to the left and then up, the fireballs following his movement and flying toward Mallory. After a few seconds the two flaming balls slammed right into Mallory's back and burned through his clothing. He screamed and threw Gilbert forward and he lost balance and hit the ground. 

Gilbert immediately began crawling away a little and Ivan was suddenly at his side. The Russian helped Gilbert to his feet and for a moment lost focus on Mallory, who suddenly grabbed onto the back of Ivan's coat and ripped him away from the albino. Mallory didn't seem to care that his back was bleeding from the fire burning his skin and he swung his fist and slammed it against Ivan's cheek that had the still bleeding cut on it, causing the Russian to falter. Gilbert fanatically went to them as Ivan began punching Mallory back as well. One of Mallory's fists came out of nowhere and slugged Gilbert right in the jaw, sending him stumbling backward again. Gilbert swore at himself for being so useless, but he knew that Ivan would want him to stay out of the way.

Mallory slowly moved with Ivan toward the edge of the cliff and he began tugging on his hair and attempting to punch him in his gut. Ivan managed to dodge most of the punches but didn't realize that he was near the edge until it was too late. Mallory gave a firm push to Ivan and he stumbled over the cliff, but not before he grabbed a hold of Mallory's coat sleeve and pulled him down with him. 

Gilbert's heart thudded hard in his chest when he saw both of the other men's bodies topple over and fall and he quickly ran for the cliff.

Below him Ivan immediately threw more fireballs at Mallory, some hitting his face, in an attempt to get the man away from him. Once he was distant enough, the Russian poured flames out from his hands in an attempt to boost himself back up. It worked just slightly, but not enough to lift his body. He began falling again and he closed his eyes. A few tears began to leak over his eyelids as he heard a mix of Gilbert's screams and Mallory's maniacal cackling below him.

He couldn't process much, but all he could think about was Gilbert's smiling face. He tried to replay all the good memories he had within the last month all at once, however, suddenly a familiar feeling wrapped around him and knocked him from his thoughts. He opened his eyes quickly and looked above him to see his boyfriend with his wings extended and bloody. Gilbert looked hazed over and confused and Ivan noticed that they were quickly nearing the rocks below them, and he wasn't ready to just let both of them die like this.

"Gilbert- Gilbert pull up!" he yelled as he looked over his shoulder, and Gilbert tried. His wings tilted up just enough to steer them both outward toward the ocean. Gilbert suddenly felt a sharp pain in one of his wings and he cried out in pain. He felt dizzy and his grip on Ivan loosened.

After a few seconds, the two crashed into the ocean.

.

The impact separated them, as Gilbert was already weak and not able to hold onto the Russian anymore. Ivan seemed to lose consciousness for just a moment before he opened his eyes. The water stung horribly, but when he saw Gilbert drifting downward toward the ocean floor, he ignored the pain and swam as fast as he could to the albino. Gilbert's wings were floating out beside him, and his mouth was hanging open and he must have been taking in a lot of water. Ivan's heart beat faster in his chest and he eventually grabbed onto one of the pale arms floating in the water.

Ivan brought Gilbert's body close to him and he swam upward, trying to get to the surface as fast as possible. He gasped out loudly once he finally was able to breathe, and he immediately swam in toward the shoreline which, thankfully, wasn't too far from where he was. 

He dragged himself onto the bank, and laid Gilbert down gently, trying his best to mind his wings but also wanting to hurry up. After loosening the scarf on Gilbert's neck, he immediately began performing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and repeated it a few times. He started to swear and panic when he didn't get a response from the other, but after a few seconds Gilbert began coughing, water flying from his mouth as he did. 

Ivan carefully lifted Gilbert into his arms and held onto him, but not too tightly. The albino coughed more and Ivan swallowed roughly. "Gilbert? Are you alright?" he asked shakily.

Gilbert coughed once more before he nodded weakly, but he tilted his head to the side and closed his eyes. For a moment it looked like he was sleeping, but Ivan began worrying so he quickly put his fingers to the albino's neck and felt for a pulse.

Suddenly Gilbert let out a soft but exhausted sounding chuckle, "I'm alive, you silly bear." He said, smiling a bit of a grin. Gilbert was completely out of it. His back hurt, his neck hurt, he felt emotionally screwed from seeing Ivan almost die again, and he nearly drowned. 

Ivan couldn't help the many heavy tears that suddenly overflowed his eyelids when he heard Gilbert's voice. The man looked horrible and his body felt weak in the Russian's arms, and for a brief moment he thought that he had lost Gilbert. He took the smaller male into a tight embrace and sobbed heavily into Gilbert's mess of wet hair. 

The albino smiled tiredly as Ivan cried into him, and he slowly brought an arm up to Ivan's shoulder and gripped tightly.

The Russian pulled back a little and looked down at the soaked man below him, "Gilbert?" he asked, concerned. 

"You almost killed yourself, for me." He said. The look on Gilbert's face was strange but intensely emotional. He looked upset because of the fact Ivan literally almost gave his life to save him, terrified that he himself almost died saving Ivan again, and relieved that he didn't drown. He was also on the verge of crying, his white eyebrows knitting together and his lips trembling with a strong need to cry.

Ivan leaned down and kissed Gilbert's forehead, some beads of water dripping from his ashy-blond hair and sliding down Gilbert's face. "Gilbert- I... I thought I lost you for a minute." He mumbled.

Gilbert coughed a little and grinned as best as he could. "You won't get rid of me that easily." He joked, trying to shed some light on the situation.

"I mean it, Gilbert. When I was falling and all I could hear was you screaming, I thought that was it..." he said, "but then you came out of nowhere with these wings again..." he leaned to the side and gently stroked the bone of one of Gilbert's wings, the feathers were weighed down heavily with water. "I thought you had swallowed too much water too... I didn't think that I'd need to be saved again so soon." 

Gilbert attempted to sit up, wobbling a bit as he did so. "I suggest you stay away from cliffs for a while, then." He said, smiling more normally now.

The smiled made Ivan chuckle with some sadness behind it, and he leaned forward, sliding a hand behind Gilbert's neck and pulling the bird-man into a soft kiss. He leaned his forehead against the others, "I love you, Gilbert." He said, looking straight into the albino's eyes; he wanted Gilbert to know this fact deep into his core.

Gilbert's eyes widened a little and he blinked in shock. He honestly never thought he'd hear those words, at least not so soon; but that was okay. He was perfectly fine with Ivan loving him, and being in love with Ivan as well. The albino suddenly smiled happily and threw his arms around the other male. Ivan frantically held onto him out of concern, thinking maybe he shouldn't move so much so soon, but regardless, he wrapped his arms around the smaller male and gave a few soft kisses to his wet hair. 

"I love you too..." Gilbert mumbled after a minute or two, and the statement caught Ivan off-guard, and he simply held onto the man tighter. Gilbert eventually wiggled his way out of the Russian's tight grasp and cupped Ivan's face in his pale hands, and brought him close into a tender kiss. He then broke away, rubbing their noses together a little, "I mean it; I do." Ivan smiled and nodded, tilting his head in to give Gilbert another kiss.

The two looked out at the ocean before them and cuddled into each other, finally calming down from the event that had just unfolded. Gilbert sighed a little as he looked out at the water. "It's nice." He said. "But, it's better sharing this view with someone." He leaned his head into the Russian. 

Ivan nuzzled his face into Gilbert's hair, holding tightly around the man's waist. "I promise, you'll never be alone again, Gilbert." He said.

Suddenly Gilbert's wings spanned out behind them both. The white feathered appendages wrapped around them carefully. The Russian thought to himself, ' _ He is protecting me. _ ' 

' _ Ever since the moment he saved me the first time, he's been my personal guardian angel. _ '

With this thought in mind, he hugged tighter and kissed into Gilbert's hair again, mumbling how much he loved the albino as Gilbert's wings closed around them both.


	12. Epilogue

A lot has happened in the last month. Ivan and Gilbert moved shortly after the incident with Mallory and due to everything else that was happening. Gilbert kept having nightmares every night for a week straight of Ivan falling from the cliff, and of Mallory. He couldn't sleep on his back either; he guessed that when he extended his wings to save Ivan, he did it too quickly out of panic and he hurt something. It was strange since the wings disappear, but he wasn't even going to attempt to understand the magic behind them. Ivan did his best to sooth the albino, holding him as he slept and kissing him softly when he woke up screaming from a nightmare. He even gave him massages nearly every day to try to make his back feel better. He thought about taking Gilbert to a doctor, but how would that even work since the location of the pain is technically not even there? Maybe painkillers would work better. After all, how do you explain to a normal person why his back hurts? 

After a horrible sleepless week, Gilbert finally began to feel better, but every time he and Ivan would go into town, he would flinch, thinking that Mallory was following them and that he'd show up soaking wet, bloody, clothing ripped; just like in his nightmares. Ivan began to think that maybe he should take Gilbert away from this town, that way he'd get away from the forest, the theater, and all the bad memories that this city holds for him. 

A fresh start, basically. It'd be good for both of them.

Ivan used some of the money that his guardian left to him years ago to buy a small house on the outskirts of a small farming town. The new town was a 3 hour drive from where they currently were so they'd be far enough away. The area itself was wonderful. The town was surrounded by large open fields of grass that went on for miles before reaching the edge of a forest much larger than the one that Gilbert used to call home, there was also a mountain range on the other side of the town. The house was one that Gilbert was excited about. The house was right on the edge of one of the large fields, which made star-gazing an extraordinary experience. Granted he did like Ivan's old apartment, but their new house was completely made of wood gathered from the forest nearby. It was a small two bedroom house with a fireplace, a balcony, and everything they could ever need. Possibly Gilbert's favorite feature was a stone hot tub on the patio where he had spent many evenings soaking and relaxing, though oddly enough, he never once shared the tub with Ivan. 

Aside from moving, the two discovered an old, somewhat eccentric witch in their new town who specializes in strange spells. They went to her shop to find some painkillers for Gilbert since he was still in pain, and she called him "bird-boy". She knew instantly that Gilbert was different, and somehow knew about his wings. She asked him to show her his wings, and once he did, she made him an offer: if he would work for her and collect some herbs and plants that she could no longer collect at her age once a week, she would use her special magic to make extending his wings painless, and if he continued to work for her, she'd pay him a nice amount of money. The spell is permanent and would let him take out and put away his wings at any moment he wishes without any pain or blood. Gilbert asked if she could cure him of his wings, and she said that it might be possible but extremely painful for him. Once Gilbert noticed that dreadful look on Ivan's face, though, he stopped asking about it and told the witch that he was perfect the way he was. Ivan appreciated it, and gave Gilbert a kiss to the forehead right then and there, not caring if the old woman was standing there or not. She probably already knew they were lovers anyway. Regardless, Gilbert agreed to help the witch with her ingredients in exchange for the spell.

Gilbert now spends quite a bit of time flying in the large field by the house that Ivan bought. The field is far enough away from town so he wouldn't be seen flying, and if he was seen, people would most likely believe that he is a bird or a plane in the distance; and they would be half right on that first one. Though most everyone in town knows about magic and is pretty close-knit. It's one of those 'everyone-knows-everyone' towns, and had some strange folk that Gilbert had never seen before and that Ivan had only read about. 

The money that the witch provides them is a decent amount, so the two live comfortably in their little home. Ever since the move, or more accurately: ever since that witch fixed his wings, Ivan has noticed a change in Gilbert's attitude. He seemed happier and more outgoing. He was always a bit outgoing but lately he would do certain things like give Ivan morning kisses, and he even once made Ivan breakfast in bed... after nearly setting the kitchen on fire. Regardless, it was nice to see the albino so happy and full of life. He even gained a bit of weight since Ivan had been making a lot of good meals since they arrived in town. Gilbert finally looked healthy, and all the bruises on his body were gone too.

However, aside from him being happy, Gilbert seemed to become more...  _ feisty _ , and open about his attraction to Ivan, and it actually kind of caught Ivan off-guard at times. The albino would sometimes kiss on Ivan's neck out of nowhere and touch his thighs, and it's true that the two have gotten more openly physical with each other and had...  _ helped _ each other out several times since they moved, but they hadn't had sex yet, though it seemed like Gilbert was hinting at wanting more, and while Ivan wanted more too, he wanted to make sure that Gilbert was okay with it. Though... Gilbert did say that all he needed was time, so maybe his increased sexual desire lately was him telling Ivan that he was ready.

.

It was late November and there was a good inch of snow on the ground. This was the first winter in a long time where Gilbert was actually happy and warm, and he had to admit that he was really enjoying it so far. He and Ivan would often cuddle by the fire and roast marshmallows, and when Gilbert would burn his, Ivan would take another and use his magic to roast one into a perfectly golden, warm treat for his love. Sometimes at night they'd sit out on the balcony and gaze up at the many thousands of stars dotting the clear night sky and talk for hours about a plethora of serious and silly topics. It became the norm for Gilbert to fall asleep in his chair after a calm silence would take them as they gazed wordlessly at the cosmos above them, and Ivan would have to carry him inside.

For Ivan, it felt like life had changed so much, yet it still felt the same in a strange nostalgic way. He was still with Gilbert and loving on him every day, cooking meals for them both, shopping with him, and sleeping and cuddling with him. It was all the same, yet, different, and he liked this new feeling. It felt safe. There wasn't any hassle of the larger city, and he didn't have someone bothering him and asking him out. More important than that though, he didn't have to worry about Mallory stealing the love of his life away from him. Here he was happy, and most of that happiness was just from seeing Gilbert so happy himself.

The Russian was sitting on the loveseat where he and Gilbert have engaged many times before in passionate make-out sessions that more often than not led to other heated pleasures. He glanced out the window and saw that snow was coming down lightly. Today is the day that Gilbert had to make a delivery to the old witch and collect his money, and every week Ivan would go with him. He would even hold Gilbert's hand the entire time, and strangely enough, most everyone in town was perfectly okay with seeing them together. Some folks still gave them disapproving looks, but they were both beyond caring about it. 

Ivan was waiting for Gilbert to get ready, and soon the albino came into their cozy little living room dressed in his skinny black jeans, boots, his coat, and of course Ivan's scarf. The Russian couldn't remember the last time he had worn his own scarf; Gilbert just loved it so much. Regardless of that though, Gilbert always looked amazing, and it was incredibly hard for Ivan to keep himself from pulling the albino onto him and kiss him passionately every time he saw him.

"Ready to go?" Gilbert asked with a smile as he pulled on the strap of his bag that was flung around his shoulder. 

Ivan nodded and stood up, and then walked to the other male. He took Gilbert's hands into his own and leaned down slightly to kiss Gilbert's pink lips. The kiss surprised the albino, as Ivan normally led up to his kisses, and they were never so spontaneous.

"Yeah, I'm ready." Ivan said with an incredibly sweet smile. Gilbert's cheeks burned a soft pinkish color, and he simply turned and walked to the door in embarrassment; he didn't know how to respond to Ivan's unexpected affection or when he suddenly acted so adorable.

Ivan followed the flustered albino to the door and walked out with him, closing the door behind them and locking it. He instantly slid his hand into Gilbert's and held tightly. The albino glanced over and smiled a little at the other before walking. Lately, Ivan had let Gilbert lead on their walks, he liked being pulled around by the other much like how Gilbert liked being pulled by him. Gilbert also seemed to be getting a lot better with the whole "human interaction" thing. 

After some time, snow began to collect in their hair, though not visible in Gilbert's since his hair was the same color. Ivan simply ruffled his hair messily to get the flakes out before they melted, but Gilbert didn't make any attempts to get his hair free of the flakes. He just kept his eyes forward and continued walking, a smile pulling his lips into a thin line. He looked happy, but not only that;  _ content _ . Like walking hand-in-hand with his lover down a snowy road as snow collected in their hair wasn't all that he needed in life, but rather all that he  _ wanted _ . And to him, those were basically the same thing.

Soon the two arrived at the old witch's shop. The woman was watering some purple flowers along the window opposite of the entrance. Gilbert let go of Ivan's hand and coughed a little to announce his presence, to which she simply retorted by telling him to "shut his noise" and that she knew he was there as soon as he entered her shop. She was much shorter than both Gilbert and Ivan, but she had a certain spunk that no one else had, which made her fun but sometimes Gilbert just didn't know what to say to her or even how to react, she would sometimes even embarrass Gilbert. The old woman put her watering can down on a table near the plants that she was watering, which Ivan suspected to be nightshade, and walked to her counter, and she glanced to Gilbert and then quickly to Ivan, who smiled sheepishly; this was his first time actually meeting her, he would always stay outside when Gilbert went in, but lately it's been cold and snowy so he came inside this time. The old woman then scoffed and raised a light gray eyebrow at her employee. She then said something about his "painfully obvious need for carnal pleasure" and claimed that with "that fine, well-endowed mage" on his arm, he shouldn't have a problem "getting some." 

This was that type of talk that Gilbert was confused and embarrassed by. Her words were strange but he could assume what they meant just by the creepy sex eyes she gave Ivan as she scanned the Russian's body. 

Gilbert's face flushed when he saw his boss checking his boyfriend out, and of course thinking of what she said. Though he still wasn't sure what "well-endowed" meant exactly. Maybe he'd look it up later. He tried to break the awkward air by loudly and bluntly telling the witch that he brought the herbs that she requested. Ivan stood by, dwelling on what the woman had said to Gilbert and being embarrassed by the blunt compliment from her. It was strange; Ivan thought he had been satisfying Gilbert's need for "carnal pleasure" lately. Sometimes he'd pleasure Gilbert without anything in return, just to see those pale cheeks flush pink and hear those cute moans come from him, or how he would sometimes pathetically beg Ivan to hurry if he was in pain and wanted release; but maybe he needed more. 

Gilbert knocked Ivan from his trance by tapping his shoulder. He noticed that Ivan had spent the last 3 minutes staring directly at a wall of potions, and his face suddenly turned a dark red when Gilbert got his attention. Gilbert breathed out of his nose softly and smiled at his boyfriend, taking his hand into his again. Ivan tried to smile convincingly but his smile screamed "there's something wrong" more than it convinced Gilbert of anything else. However, Gilbert decided not to dwell on it. He'd just have to do something when they got home to get Ivan's mind off of whatever was bothering him.

.

A violent shiver rattled through Gilbert's body as soon as he entered their warm home. The temperature difference was a relief to him since it was freezing outside. He unbuttoned his coat and slid it down his arms, revealing his tight black long-sleeved shirt, which was a favorite of Ivan's. As the chill finally left his body, he suddenly felt Ivan press his front into his back, the Russian's arms wrapping and locking tight around the albino's belly. 

Gilbert turned his head to look at Ivan, but the Russian had his face buried into his neck. "Ivan?" he asked, wondering why the other male was suddenly holding onto him so tightly. 

"Are you... unsatisfied, by me?" Ivan asked, his voice full of worry and his face flushing a light red. 

Gilbert's eyes widened and he shifted his body a little. He began to blush softly as well as he repeated Ivan's question in his mind. "I... I don't understand what you mean..." he said softly, honestly a bit confused about what Ivan was saying.

The Russian tightened his arms more and nuzzled his head into Gilbert's shoulder. "That witch... she said something that made me think that maybe I'm not satisfying you..." he said. 

"Oh..." Gilbert mumbled, "She says stuff like that to me all the time when I go there..." he said and then pulled on Ivan's wrists to loosen them so that he could turn around in the Russian's arms. Once he was facing Ivan, he gave an embarrassed smile, "She can sense these types of things easily, and... she likes pointing out how I..." he stopped and glanced away from Ivan. Looking straight into the Russian's eyes was far too embarrassing to do.

"How you what?" Ivan inquired, tilting his head to try to look at Gilbert.

"... how I want to have sex with you." Gilbert muttered out, and Ivan moved back just slightly in surprise. "She teases me about it, and always asks why we haven't yet. She's a fun old woman but sometimes she makes me really embarrassed." He said and then chuckled softly, "I guess I'm really needy, huh?" he asked jokingly. 

Ivan smiled a little before leaning down and kissing Gilbert's lips softly, "It's alright Gilbert, there's nothing wrong with being needy, I was just worried that I wasn't doing a good job..." he said, and nuzzled next to the albino's ear. "I've noticed that you've gotten feistier lately, anyway."

Gilbert's face lit up a bright pink and he shoved his face into Ivan's chest. The Russian chuckled a little and smiled, "Don't be so embarrassed Gilbert, it's fine." He said and pulled away from the albino, "Now, would you like some dinner?" he asked.

Gilbert still looked embarrassed, but he shook his head and looked down at the floor. "I'm not hungry." He said simply.

"Oh? Then what do you want to do?" Ivan asked. He couldn't help but think that Gilbert wanted to have some 'fun' with him now.

The albino thought for a moment, and then suddenly looked up and smiled shyly. "We should go in the hot tub together; we haven't done that yet."

Ivan's eyes widened a little, "Isn't it a little too cold for that?" he asked.

"That's why it's a hot tub, silly. I've been in it when it was this cold a few days ago and I was fine." Gilbert said. "Come on, please?" he begged, "We can watch the sunset and drink some vodka, and then just sit there for hours talking like we normally do." He said it like it was a fantasy that he had been wanting for a while now.

Ivan sighed with a small laugh. "Alright, but just for you." He said.

Gilbert beamed a happy smile and suddenly kissed Ivan on the lips. "I'll go get it ready and then change, okay?" he said, and before Ivan could reply, the albino man was literally running off toward the patio.

Ivan sighed softly and went to the bedroom which he and Gilbert shared, and he looked through his dresser to search for his swim trunks. He wasn't a fan of swimming, and the only reason why he had the swim trunks in the first place was because as soon as Gilbert saw the hot tub, he practically dragged Ivan to the store so he could buy something to swim in. Ivan was just thankful that the albino didn't go nude; he didn't know if he could control himself if he did that. 

After dressing himself in his swim trunks, the unusually excited albino walked back into the room. He was already dressed in his own swimwear and unlike Ivan, Gilbert wasn't wearing a shirt.

Ivan turned to him, "Won't you be cold?" he asked.

"Nah, the water is really warm." Gilbert said as he flung a towel over his shoulder. Ivan smiled a little and let his eyes gaze down Gilbert's body. It was a good sight for the Russian, and not just because Gilbert is attractive, but now he looked healthy; he had gained a little weight and even some muscle since they moved, so honestly he looked even better than before.

Soon the two found themselves standing near the patio door. Gilbert was shivering a little and pulling his towel around his shoulders while Ivan held a bottle of vodka and two glasses in his hand, and then opened the door. A blast of chilly November air hit them both and Gilbert immediately walked with a bounce in his step toward the hot tub. 

Gilbert let his legs dip into the warm bubbly water, and as he lowered himself he placed his towel to the side. He sighed in relief as the heated water washed over his body, and he sunk down until the water was up to his chin. He waited a few moments before looking over at Ivan. The Russian was just standing there looking at him, and the look on his face showed nothing but pure adoration for Gilbert. 

"Aren't you going to get in?" Gilbert asked as he moved his body to the side of the tub closest to Ivan. The Russian nodded slowly and then did just that. He slipped down into the water a few feet from Gilbert after setting the bottle of vodka and glasses aside. Gilbert stared at the other curiously, raising an eyebrow at him. He noticed something strange about Ivan, not in his actions or attitude, but rather in his appearance. 

"Why are you wearing your shirt?" Gilbert asked as he scooted himself to the Russian. 

Ivan avoided the question at first by looking away but when he realized that Gilbert was staring intensely at him and waiting for an answer, he soon sighed and looked down at the water in front of him. "I've always worn a shirt while swimming..." he said quietly. 

Gilbert's eyes saddened a bit but he simply moved closer and leaned his head against Ivan's shoulder. Gilbert had an idea of why Ivan wears a shirt in the water, though he felt like it wasn't necessary for him to feel that way. 

After a few minutes of soaking and relaxing, Gilbert shifted his body a little and glanced over at the Russian beside him. Ivan had his eyes closed and he looked content, but Gilbert was beginning to want to touch and be touched by the other. They hadn't had much interaction today since Gilbert had finished collecting herbs for most of the morning. 

The albino turned his body to face Ivan, and the Russian looked over to see a familiar mischievous grin spread across his love's face. That grin could only mean one thing: Gilbert wanted something. 

As expected, Gilbert moved his body around. He grasped his hands onto Ivan's clothed shoulders and lifted one leg to assume a favorite position of both his and Ivan's. Gilbert sat himself on Ivan's legs close to his knees and he flashed that grin up at his boyfriend. Gilbert's knees were digging into the small seats around the hot tub and was a bit painful, but he honestly didn't care. Ivan gave a crooked smile, wondering what sort of shenanigans Gilbert had in store for him this time. 

Gilbert leaned forward, letting his breath tickle against Ivan's cheek for a short moment. His legs slid across Ivan's easily due to the water, and that fact quickly and strangely excited Gilbert. The albino finally gave a soft kiss to the corner of Ivan's mouth, teasing him greatly. 

As soon as Gilbert felt Ivan turn his head a fraction of an inch and move his lips slightly against his, he pulled back, grinning wider than before.

"If you want to kiss me, you have to take off your shirt." Gilbert said and leaned back a little, letting his shoulders rise just out of the water. Ivan narrowed his eyes sadly and shook his head in protest, but Gilbert just pouted obnoxiously. 

The albino scooted himself forward and tilted his head toward Ivan's neck. The Russian tensed up and hissed softly when Gilbert's soft lips pressed against his neck. Gilbert began kissing his skin softly, but after a few moments they grew into long and slow passionate kisses. The albino moved a little closer and licked Ivan's neck, which pulled a quiet strangled whine from Ivan's throat. The sound only encouraged Gilbert as he brought his lips up to Ivan's ear to give a soft nibble to the shell. This little bite broke Ivan instantly and he suddenly grabbed onto Gilbert's bear shoulders and pushed him away a little.

"Alright alright, I'll take it off." Ivan muttered out quickly, his cheeks colored a soft pink. Gilbert smiled happily in victory and he scooted himself back to wait. Ivan moved his hands down to grab onto the wet fabric under the water and began to lift. He hesitated for a moment but then sighed heavily, pulling the shirt up over his head and then holding it in front of his body. He still didn't want Gilbert to see him, but he assumed that they'd run into this problem sooner or later. 

Gilbert's proud grin turned into a soft smile and he gently took Ivan's shirt from his hands and set it on the patio next to the tub. Ivan blushed more and turned his head to the side, not wanting to see Gilbert's face. 

"I'm big, I know. I'm sorry." The Russian mumbled out quietly. He then brought a hand down and attempted to hide the large burn scar on his side, which failed since the mark is way bigger than his hand.

Gilbert chuckled softly and moved closer, "You're big- _ boned _ , not fat." He said and then kissed Ivan softly. Gilbert moved one of his hands down and gently stroked the scar on Ivan's side before he let his hand wrap gently around the shape of the Russian's body. He pulled away after a sweet moment, "Besides,  _ I _ think you're very handsome." He said with a smile and kissed Ivan again. The Russian smiled happily as he kissed his boyfriend back, and suddenly he didn't feel so self-conscious anymore; he should have known that Gilbert, of all people, wouldn't judge others on appearance. Ivan only wished Gilbert didn't beat himself up about his own appearance. 

After a moment, Gilbert broke the kiss and wrapped an arm around Ivan's neck. He then playfully poked the Russian's belly. The larger man whined softly and pulled Gilbert closer by the waist, and Gilbert leaned forward. "You're so cute..." the albino mumbled out quietly against Ivan's mouth just before reconnecting their lips.

As the kiss went on, Ivan felt Gilbert spread his legs wider and move closer so that their skin was touching. He noticed how Gilbert had also brought his other arm up around his neck and pulled himself into the kiss. Ivan tilted his head and gave a soft lick to Gilbert's lower lip. The lick caused Gilbert to rock his body forward excitedly with anticipation as he parted his lips slightly for the Russian to enter and explore; and that's exactly what he did.

Ivan pressed his tongue against Gilbert's firmly for a moment before stroking them together repeatedly. Soon, Gilbert was moaning softly into the kiss and subtly rocking his hips forward against Ivan's. This reminded Ivan of how many times they had engaged in this very activity that would soon leave them panting and with flushed faces. He remembered telling Gilbert that he didn't want their relationship to be too physical every day, but  _ technically _ they didn't do this every day. Gilbert was fine, though, and he was the one who made the advances in the first place; he usually was. It was like he was trying to get Ivan to dominate him, it became a sort of need of his, to feel craved and loved at the same time. Of course, it's only because it's Ivan.

The Russian was suddenly knocked out of his trance when he suddenly heard Gilbert moan louder, his hips moving faster and rougher against him. Ivan felt his lower body stirring to life and he pulled Gilbert close in a tight embrace. He suddenly felt something strange, a different type of need than he usually felt. He decided to test something and carefully brought a hand down to Gilbert's swim trunks, and gave them a soft tug. The movement of his shorts caused Gilbert to gasp softly into the heated kiss that he and Ivan shared, but it quickly melted into a moan with no protest toward what Ivan just did. Ivan thought to take it farther and brought his other hand down and gripped onto the back of Gilbert's trunks and pulled them down. When the albino felt the fabric move off of his behind, he broke the kiss and panted out, looking at Ivan with hazed eyes.

"What... are you doing?" he asked with a little embarrassment.

Ivan didn't have an answer for Gilbert, and he simply blushed and looked utterly confused and lost, like he wasn't sure what to do at this point. Part of him felt like he had done something wrong and went over Gilbert's boundaries, but another part of him really wanted to continue and strip the albino of all of his clothing.

Gilbert stared at him for a moment before he realized what Ivan meant. The albino suddenly moved backward and stood up from Ivan's lap and he regretted it immediately. He shyly brought his hands down and squirmed a little before he gripped onto the hem of his shorts, and with a deep breath, he pulled them down and then leaned down to pick them up, only to toss them onto the stone next to him

Ivan blushed a shade darker at the sight. Gilbert was naked in front of him, the bubbly water coming up to his hips and giving a blurred view to the body underneath. It was strange but this was the first time that he had ever seen Gilbert fully naked. Before he could continue his gazing, though, he looked up to Gilbert's face, which was stained a light pink probably more from embarrassment of being naked rather than what Ivan was going to do to him. 

"Gilbert..." Ivan breathed out in awe, "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked while he still had some self-control left.

Gilbert nodded a bit, "Yeah... I'd be lying if I said I haven't been thinking about it lately..." he mumbled quietly. 

Ivan blushed a little at the comment, "We don't have any condoms..." he said.

Gilbert's face turned a darker red and looked away, "We, don't need one." He muttered embarrassingly.

Ivan smiled a little and sighed, and then held his hand out to the albino. "Come here, you look cold." He said as he noticed how Gilbert's wet skin was covered in small bumps. Gilbert slowly walked to his boyfriend, feeling strange that he wasn't wearing any clothing now. Soon, he lifted himself back onto Ivan's lap and then lowered his body. He gasped out and froze when he felt his erection rub against Ivan's swim trunks. 

Ivan soothed the albino by rubbing up and down his back and kissing his cheek. "I'll try my best to make this as painless as possible, okay?" Ivan said as he held the other male close to him. "The water will make it a little easier, so..." he said as he rubbed his hands up and down Gilbert's arms, weakly casting a spell that sent small pulses of warmth through Gilbert's body.

Gilbert pulled back a little and nodded, "It's alright, I know it'll be painful anyway." He said and then kissed Ivan's lips softly.

The Russian smiled lovingly at the other. "Alright, lean against me and I'll prepare you." He instructed. Gilbert wrapped his arms around Ivan's neck and leaned his upper body against him, lifting his rear a little as Ivan guided him up. Cautiously, Ivan brought his hand around to Gilbert's behind and he prodded a single finger gently at the albino's entrance, which caused Gilbert to tense up and tighten his arms around Ivan's neck. Ivan kissed the side of Gilbert's head where he could reach and then tried again, this time, Gilbert only gasped softly. Ivan pushed a single finger in and Gilbert's inner muscles instinctively tried to push it out. The Russian whispered to the other to relax and he continued, wiggling his finger a bit before poking another against Gilbert's entrance. Soon he pushed that one in as well. Gilbert hissed and shifted uncomfortably at the intrusion, and it was starting to hurt a little. Ivan pushed both fingers farther inside and moved them in different directions to stretch the muscles in hopes of making the next stage of this easier for both of them. Gilbert began to let out soft grunts as his fingers gripped at Ivan's wet skin. The albino was not expecting the third finger and he expressed that with a shocked gasp and buried his face in Ivan's neck to hide his mix of grunts and moans. Hearing the sounds increase in both volume and frequency made Ivan grow harder and soon he was craving some attention as well. 

Ivan finished with Gilbert after a few painful minutes and slipped his fingers out. He gripped at Gilbert's waist and lifted him easily in the water to move him back a little. He then cupped his face gently, "Are you ready?" he asked, to which Gilbert gave a weak nod. Ivan began to move to switch places with Gilbert, but suddenly Gilbert pushed Ivan back down by his shoulders.

"No... I want to, uh..." he said. He wanted to ride Ivan, but he wasn't sure what terminology he was supposed to use.

Ivan blushed and smiled softly, bringing the other close to kiss his lips gently. "I understand." He agreed, "It might be easier for you this way, that way you can go at your own pace." 

Gilbert nodded and looked down, and then gently pulled on Ivan's own swim trunks, indicating that he was ready to do this now. Ivan found his command adorable, if not a bit arousing. 

With a swift motion of Gilbert moving to the side, the Russian stood up and stripped himself of his final piece of clothing, tossed them aside with Gilbert's trunks, and then sat back down. Gilbert instantly moved back onto Ivan and wrapped his arms around his neck; he shivered from the chilly November air pricking at his wet shoulders that were above the water. The Russian let his hands rest on Gilbert's hips and rubbed his thumbs gently against his skin. After a long breath, Gilbert brought a hand down and gently touched Ivan's member, which caused the Russian to twitch a little in surprise, and then guided himself down slowly. At first contact, they both gasped and Gilbert tensed for a moment but he pushed on, lowering his body more and wiggling a little until the tip pushed through the first ring of muscle. 

Gilbert stopped for a moment and looked at Ivan for some much needed reassurance. He had never done this before and he didn't completely know what he was doing. 

The Russian's cheeks were flushed a light pink and he simply kissed Gilbert's cheek. "You're doing fine, Gilbert." He said and slid his hands up Gilbert's back. 

The albino swallowed roughly and continued. Soon the pain started to sink in more and more with every centimeter he moved down. Feeling himself being stretched over Ivan was a feeling he couldn't explain, it was painful yet it excited him and made him want to continue. Something about it just felt really good.

Gilbert gasped out breathlessly as he continued to impale himself onto Ivan. Suddenly he was complaining in his mind about the Russian's size and how it felt like his backside was about to split in two. His trance was broken when he felt a hand graze up his side gently. Ivan was looking up at him, smiling softly with flushed cheeks. It wasn't as hard to control himself as he thought it would be, and he had to think that it was because Gilbert was taking the lead this time. 

After more painful minutes of short breaths and small grunts and making nearly no progress at all, Gilbert growled to himself and then gripped onto Ivan's shoulders. "Are— are you  _ sure _ you did that right?" he said rather loudly with some frustration.

Ivan blinked a few times and then glared playfully at the distressed albino. "Yes,  _ I've _ done this before; I know what I'm doing." 

"Damn... you should...  _ really _ apologize to— to the people you've tried to split in half." He mocked between slightly pained breathes as he continued his descent, and shifted his body slightly and tried to push himself down more. "Haa, Ivan..." he moaned softly and leaned his head into the Russian's shoulder. 

Ivan's eyes widened a little when he heard Gilbert. He knew that the albino was in pain but if he didn't continue and start moving, they'd both be in pain and this wouldn't feel very good at all. Ivan gripped at Gilbert's hips, "I'll help you, alright?" he said and pulled Gilbert's waist down a little. The albino gasped and squeezed his eyes shut tight, little tears welling up at the corners. 

Ivan continued to slowly guide Gilbert's body down onto himself, hearing Gilbert mutter a string of curse words and pained groans mixed with Ivan's own soft moans. Feeling Gilbert's insides constricting around him tightly was enough to push him over the edge, but he wanted to do this right and not scare or hurt Gilbert even more than he already was.

Soon, Ivan pulled Gilbert down so that he was completely engulfed inside the other's warm body. He gave a soft kiss to Gilbert's forehead. "There, I'm all the way in." he said, his cheeks heating up more from that fact. He could feel every inch of Gilbert, and every little movement from the albino, even his breathing, would cause his inner muscles to tighten slightly around Ivan's already pained erection.

"I— I can feel that." Gilbert groaned, resting his chin on Ivan's shoulder.

Ivan sighed a bit and ran a wet hand through the albino's snow-colored hair. "If you start moving, the pain will go away..." he said, a subtle plea to get the other to move.

This fact intrigued Gilbert, and so he leaned his body back to look at the Russian. "So... I just, lift myself?" he asked, blushing softly from embarrassment. 

Ivan nodded, "And then back down. Go slow at first; I don't want you hurting yourself, or me." He smiled. He was about to say something else but suddenly he felt Gilbert grip onto his shoulders tightly and lift his body and his words seemed to get lost in a breathless gasp. Most of the albino's upper body was out of the water and the cold air caused him to shiver. Gilbert skin was also shining from the water gleaming in the sunset, and everything about this scene seemed perfect to Ivan.

Gilbert readied himself and slowly descended back down, he grunted a little but got an idea. He lifted his hips again and pushed back down only a little and repeated this over and over until his muscles were stretched enough, then he would push down more and repeat until he could completely take in all of the Russian's length. As he continued to ride Ivan, that sharp pain of being stretched beyond belief was replaced with a strange warmth, and it was a feeling that he wanted to feel over and over, so he continued to bounce himself up and down on the other, and Ivan couldn't help but rub at Gilbert's sides and just admire that face, broadcasting the pleasure that was just racking through the albino's body now. Gilbert's eyebrows were pulled together tightly and his jaw was stiff and tightened, and his mouth would open just slightly whenever he would moan softly. Gilbert's body was rising and falling in the water, causing the liquid to slash onto their chests and over the side of the hot tub. Feeling that tight warmth welcoming him was maddening since Gilbert was going so slow; the albino was simply amazing, and his determination to continue and make this work even after the pain was not only shocking but extremely arousing as well. The Russian wouldn't mind if Gilbert took control like this more often, it was nice seeing the albino doing what he wanted to make himself feel good, and it was pleasing to see that Gilbert learned quickly. 

Suddenly, Gilbert felt Ivan's member rub against something that caused a loud, breathless gasp to escape from his throat, as well as causing his inner muscles to tighten painfully around Ivan's erection. The Russian moaned and panted out softly, his cheeks flushed pink as he looked up at the somewhat confused looking albino.

Gilbert panted heavily and he wasn't sure what just happened, but he did know that it felt really good and he wanted to feel it again. He lifted himself once more and then roughly pushed himself back down, causing Ivan's tip to press into that spot deep within him once again. Gilbert cried out in pleasure, and found himself not being able to resist moving faster on the Russian's lap. He loved this feeling, the feeling of not only pleasuring himself and Ivan, but being the one doing all the work felt fantastic. He liked seeing how Ivan's face was twisting in pleasure, and how his eyebrows would knit together, and his grunts and moans every time Gilbert would impale himself back down on him. Ivan would feel a certain ache when Gilbert would lift himself up, and he would want nothing more than to have Gilbert stretched over him again. It pleased him that this didn't stop either. Gilbert was giving him every bit of himself and he loved it. 

Soon, the albino was moaning the Russian's name softly every time he would thrust himself back down, which had made Ivan grow even harder. He found a certain rhythm that wasn't too slow but hit all those spots and gave him a rush. He was so focused on the pleasure that he was giving to both himself and his boyfriend that the pain of his erection wasn't even a concern for him, he didn't even care about the winter air on his back freezing him. All that mattered was that he was giving everything he had to Ivan. 

The Russian gripped at the albino's waist and suddenly pulled him back down, causing his erection to slam into Gilbert's prostate harder than ever. His eyes snapped open and he wasn't at all prepared when he felt his groin spasm and his orgasm suddenly spring on him. Gilbert moaned out and then leaned his head against Ivan's shoulder. The Russian wrapped an arm around his waist and nuzzled his head into Gilbert's hair. However, he was still hard and aching deep within the other, and he needed Gilbert to start moving again.

"Gilbert, keep moving." He pleaded quietly. In response, Gilbert simply began rocking his hips weakly until he regained a bit of energy. Soon he was tiredly lifting his body again so that Ivan was slipping in and out of him easily. 

After a few more thrusts from Gilbert, Ivan came deep inside of the smaller man with a breathless gasp. He then pulled Gilbert into a hug and buried his face into the albino's neck. Gilbert didn't move at all, he was too exhausted to do so. Ivan simply smiled and kissed Gilbert's cheek, finding it adorable how tired the albino looked. 

"Gilbert, you should get up." Ivan suggested, subtly lifting Gilbert's hips off of him.

However, the albino suddenly pushed himself back down onto Ivan with a soft grunt. "No... I want to stay like this for a while... I like the feeling..." he said, his cheeks turning a shade darker.

The Russian blushed as well at Gilbert's comment, but he nodded and wrapped his arms around Gilbert, pulling the albino's body down under the water a little so he could be warm, and let the albino rest his head against his chest.

The sun was setting over the trees in the distance, causing little flickers of sunlight to shine into Ivan's eyes as he ran a hand through Gilbert's hair. Suddenly little snow flurries began to fall from the sky as if on a cue, and everything about this moment felt special and right. He had the love of his life exhausted and fully satisfied in his arms, and honestly that was all he needed; just for Gilbert to be happy and fulfilled. The scene was perfect, the location was beautiful, everything was great, but just feeling Gilbert leaning against him while his face was burnt red, his eyes closed and his mouth open a few centimeters, his breathing returning to normal, and even still feeling himself buried deep inside of the albino, it was more than perfect and he knew that Gilbert was all that he would ever need. 

Ivan glanced over to the untouched bottle of vodka and thought about how they could save it for next time, and thinking about that brought a small grin to the Russian's lips.


End file.
